Depression Support Thread

Tulip

Sssssss wrote: »

Jo_R, Tulip and fairydawn, hope things turn out ok and that tomorrow is a better day for you all.

Yesterday I had a good day, today I have so many bad things going on I just want to hide, but hey hopefully tomorrow will bring some sunshine back into my life and I'll be happy to share with those who need some as well.

thanks sssssssssssss

Tulip

I will see you all tomorrow as Dad will be here in 30 mins to take me home for dinner,Staying at theirs tonight then will be back to my flat tomorrow lunchtime after my appt to change the dressing.


love and light,

Katie xxx

shazrobo

hope it goes well katie, and not too painful for you (((hugs)))
shaz xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
How's us today, guys?
I'm sending a huge Tiffy to jax66 (jax), shaven-monkey (monkey) and kitty boo (boo). You're all very welcome here folks and I'm sure the thread's guardian angels have been looking after you all just as they usually do. I hope you'll make yourself at home and join in with the rest of the clan whenever you want to.
I haven't read back properly I'm afraid, but I must just wish our katie-tulip good luck with her toe procedure today. I'm glad you're going to get some tlc from your parents tonight, angel. I was going to give you a blue smartie to cheer you up, but I decided I'd better not, just in case it interferes with your medicines at the hospital. On the bright side hunnie, (for me that is!), at least you won't be able to run away from me quite so quickly if I catch you anywhere near the smartie cupboard! Take care katie.
Oh and rbk - I'll (hopefully) be back for you tomorrow, hunnie - and you, shaz and you.....

Me? I'm fine guys - am not! - am! - am not! - am too! - not! - thank you, guys.
I just wish you could all know just how much your messages mean to me and they really are keeping me going. I am so touched that you have taken time from your own very difficult and very real problems, to send me love and hugs and prayers for Mum, my family and myself. Today would have been her 71st birthday, bless her. Mum's funeral will be on Tuesday, 20th January, at 10.30am. so there'll be lots of tiffing to be done before then.

Now listen very carefully - I shall say zis only vunce......if there are any spare hugs floating around, then this Tiffster would be very happy and grateful to receive them. I'm having a bit of a rough ride atm, and not just with grieving over Mum. Haven't gotten to that part yet!
Not to worry - I'll be fine.
What has cheered me up is coming back and seeing so many of my tifflings posting and helping each other. Even our lovely ettie b took time out from the UN to call in bless her, and we were also blessed with a badgie visit and a sazzy sighting too! It really is great to hear from all of you. There is something missing though - can't quite put my finger on it.

Right, I'd better go and see if I can find some gold top to go with my catnip snack as a treat.
Safe journeys and be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
I know what's missing!....

Now I feel better!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi budd!
How are you hunnie? Thanks for posting with an update budd.

budd wrote:

Hello again everyone

budd wrote:

Thank you so much for all your kind words and all advice you have given me, I will re-read through and have a proper go at this when Ive got a little more time. I just wanted to say that I phoned the samaritans (never thought I would be doing that) They were very helpful and the lady I spoke to was nice. I also phoned my mum and she came to the hospital with me I met the crisis team and they were nice too, very helpful. Ive had a day to myself (OH took boys to stay with his mum and he stayed as well) so I am feeling a bit better. I got some emergency meds which are also helping. Im not quite myself, but Im here.

Just wanted to say thank you to all of you and although I wouldn't wish anyone to be suffering its helpful to know you are not alone.
Hoping for a better 2009 for everyone!

Bless you - well done you! I'm really proud of you for finding the courage to call the Samaritans, the crisis team and your Mum to let her know what was happening. I'm sure you were dreading their reaction and I know it couldn't have been easy for you to open up. It can be a very scary point to reach and I'm sure others might be reading who may be in a similar situation and worried about what to do next.

Your post has shown that you can get effective and sympathetic help, budd and that you're not just tossed into a dungeon somewhere, where they lock the door and throw away the key. I know that fear lurks at the back of many people's minds.

Nobody thinks that they'll ever have to make such a call, hunnie but you followed the suggestions and it has started you on the road to recovery. Can't tell you how long you'll be on this road, angel, or how long the journey will be, but the main thing is to make sure you stay on that road and to keep communicating with those who are trying to help you. Never assume they know how you must be feeling sweetie.

And probably most important of all, hang on to the memory of how low you were really feeling and of you calling for help and getting it. It may even help to print off your post so that you have something very real and tangible to look at. Hopefully, there won't be another occasion where you feel that desperate but just in case, those memories will remind you that all you need to do is pick up the phone again, angel.
Keep up the good work and remember budd, one step at a time.

Be kind to yourself hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi wvw!
Hey lady, how are you?
Thanks for posting this link, angel. I know we shouldn't laugh at the afflicted, , but it was funny.

wvw wrote:

This has made me laugh out loud - it's shameful for a dog to display such low intelligence although you have to admire it's determination. I'm sure Tiff would agree that no self-respecting cat would demean itself to such a low level!

wvw wrote:

Enjoy!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KD4XRPCQweI

Too right, wvw!!! I'm glad you agree.
Oh you may well find some funny cat clips, but what you don't realise is that those cats are actually trained professional actors and stunt cats. They are hired to put across subliminal messages in these cute clips and are aimed at those who own w-a-g-g-y t-h-i-n-g-s in an attempt to save them from their own folly.
And should there be anyone who is still under the illusion of loving w-a-g-g-y t-h-i-n-g-s, maybe you should have a look at these links as further evidence of just how thick they really are...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Ynv32zHfYE8

http://uk.youtube.com/watc?v=-QF14eeCs3k

I love the way the cat watches incredulously from the stairs - the cat is obviously thinking, ''So much d-o-g-g-y, so little brain!''

I hope you're feeling better hunnie - take care.
Much love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi owens!
How are you, hun? Of course it's all right to join in - we don't stand on ceremony here sweetheart.
I'm so sorry that my reply is so late and that you're having such an anxious time angel. Let's have a look here...

owens wrote:

hi all

owens wrote:

ive read through some of this and wonderd if it would be ok to join u ?

im 29 yrs old married and a little girl 2 yrs old from the outside i look to have the prerfect life but i ve suffured with depression for years
im on medication which i take everyday and i used to see a counceller but to be honest i diddnt find it helped that much , sometimes i dont feel like i should suffer with this , i had a lovely childhood no abused or anthing no major problems in life so why do i suffer with this horrible illness ?

a few years ago it was soooo bad mum had to bath me etc i just wanted to lock myself away in a dark room but im much better now but i do still have off days i get stressed so easliy i carnt work due to it as i get myself in such a sate i start crying etc im quite obessive about certain things too like i have to contol things house has to be a certain way etc etc luckliy i have a fab hubby and family

then i got a letter thorugh the door saying they want to review my claim for incap benefit and i may need to go to a medical omg the thought of that sends me into panic mode what can i do what do i say why do u have to go ?????
what if they stop my money ? what will i do ? i do have days where im ok but not consistent enough to hold a job down , what if they say im not capable of looking after my daughter ?? sorry to ramble but im in a bit of a state about it all

Okay hun, the first thing to do is not to panic. I can understand why you're feeling so upset hun, but fretting is only going to make it worse. To help hold your worries about your finances at bay, the best thing you can do is to get help and resources. This puts you back in control of everything and once you start on a plan of action, you'll feel better than just sitting alone with your fear. I've been down to the now very dusty Tiff archives,, and found some links for you that may be helpful. I'm not any kind of professional owens, so please use your own judgement when making decisions.

Of course, Citizen's Advice Bureau spring to mind as a good port of call for advice, so I'll start by posting a link for that...
www.adviceguide.org.uk/

Imho angel, you should get in touch with a mental health Advocate. These people assist people with mental ill health resolve issues that they might have in their lives by making contacts and plans with you and in making sure your rights are protected. They are professionally trained and they can accompany you to any meetings or appointments, including medical ones and with Social Services, and can speak on your behalf and represent you if you wish them too do so.
The only point I need to underline here hun, is that although they are well versed in law and benefits and resources, they cannot legally represent you in a court of law. They can accompany you and possibly advise, but they don't actually practise law.
Advocates are real guardian angels to people with mental ill health and they do an amazing job. There is no charge for their work and they are right up to speed with the latest legislation. They tend to work in quite large areas and, as you might expect, they are very much in demand so please don't waste any time in contacting them. The sooner, the better hunnie. Your local mental health clinic/centre may have their phone number or their leaflets or you can find your ''local'' advocate through this link...

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Mind+guide+to/advocacy.htm

Also down in the Tiff archives,, I found these government links directly connected to Incapacity Benefit...

IB Assessments...

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/stellent/groups/jcp/documents/websitecontent/dev_015451.pdf

IB information...
http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Customers/WorkingAgeBenefits/008025.xml.html

Working age benefits...

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Customers/WorkingAgeBenefits/index.html

DirectGov information...
http://www.dwp.gov.uk/lifeevent/workage/

And of course, we can't leave out MSE Martin's benefits guide or the benefits board, where I'm sure you will find lots of other helpful advice...
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/benefits-check?gclid=CJDuh7mLi5gCFYwH3godOy8ADA
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=23
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1215

Right angel, that's the practical side dealt with, so on to the rest of your post. Sometimes owens, there isn't an obvious cause to depression or mental ill health - it may be a body chemistry situation. This doesn't make it any the less important. You'd be amazed at how many people have these 'perfect' lives also have mental ill health hun - you can never tell what goes on behind those closed doors.

Please don't beat yourself up with ''I should be this...'' or ''I should be that...'' The same can be said of trying to find those elusive answers as to why you feel the way you do. Knowing the answers to those questions does not necessarily mean that you've also found that ''magical'' cure. Mental ill health is not one size fits all, sadly and it does not discriminate either - young, old, rich, poor, male, female and so on.
As I said, I'm not a professional hunnie, but imho, sometimes the best way to approach mental ill health is without having any expectations at all and an open mind. This takes a lot of pressure off you and leaves you in a better position to follow the professionals' advice. If in doubt, always ask for a second opinion and never be afraid to ask questions if there's something you don't understand or need explaining again.

The other point I wanted to address, angel is that there's counselling...and then there's counselling! I'm sorry you didn't feel any benefit from your experience hun. Many people get referred to their surgery's counsellor by their gp and can find this usually short term counselling helpful. Others need more prolonged counselling and it may be worth talking to your dr and ask about being referred for a mental health assessment with your local mental health services.
Sometimes, people are given a referral to a psychologist for more long term or more in-depth counselling. As with most things, and also depending upon your situation, waiting lists may be involved, so don't faint with shock if you're told there's a 2 or 3 year waiting list. These lists tend to be managed more according to people's needs, rather than how long they've been on the list and it is frequently evaluated.

If you feel as though you need more support of any kind, hunnie please speak to your doctor. Depression is the most commonly presented illness that a doctor sees, so you're not on your own.
I hope something here has been helpful to you, or to anyone else who may be looking in. Feel free to keep us posted as to your progress,
hun.
Safe journeys angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi voofy!
I hope you're feeling better angel - hang in there okay, hunnie? Apologies for being so late in replying and I'm glad you posted.

voofy wrote:

just wanted to say thank to those who have replied. People at home and cannot get a drink without them noticing , wish it was bedtime.
So many people worse off than me I feel so selfish.

In typically Tiffy fashion,, I want to look at your last sentence first, voofy.
When we're in pain, emotionally or physically hunnie, our pain is just as important as anyone else's pain. I can't remember, out of all of our 10 thread homes, anyone ever saying ''I'm worse off than you are!'' Yet what I have seen many times, is exactly what you posted angel - ''There are so many more worse off than me.'' and people also saying they feel selfish for posting regarding their problems. No-one here judges people like that because pain is pain and it is a very important issue in that person's life. So please hun, don't feel selfish about posting with your problems - they are just as important as anyone else's. I hope this reassures you, hunnie.

You're welcome to the replies from the lovely people here, voofy. Although I hear that you want a drink, angel, I think it's just what you need having people around you, so it might prevent you from doing it. If there's anyway you can manage it before you drink even more readily hun, be around other people as much as you can.
Have you been to the doctor's yet angel?

voofy wrote:

hello everyone
Woke up at 5 this morning and could not get back to sleep so got up, first thing I thought of was " could I have a drink " but I didn't . I did go back to bed again about 10 though as wanted one so much but stayed in bed til 1. Hav just had a drink though, not the hard stuff today though only alcopops, I say only but guess just as bad.

I was going to ring a helpline at 5 am this morning as felt really unsettled mentally, all mixed up and jittery. I did not though, took a few pills to settle me and seemed to work. I have to see my CPN next week and not sure what I will tell him, he is pretty usless really, just shakes his ehad and says " it will take time" hope others are feeling ok today

Well done you for resisting the temptation to have a drink for as long as you did, sweetie. Resisting the temptation and having that one drink less, means one step forward for you. Yes angel, alcopops are just as bad - but it's good that you're being this honest with yourself.

I'm also glad you thought of calling the helpline, voofy. I know you took meds and got through it eventually, but there's nothing to say that you can't call the helpline, as well as taking your meds. You need as much support as you can get and you've nothing to lose.
Please be completely honest with your cpn hun. If you don't tell him everything then you won't get all the help that might be available. It doesn't matter if he's heard you say it 100 times before, just tell him again. May I suggest a Tiffy thought hun? Too late - here I go...
When we see a cpn or other professional, it can seem as though you are standing in the same spot and not moving forward. But whether you know it or not, there are small, gradual changes taking place. It can take many weeks or months, maybe years for these differences to register and appear. He is being completely honest with you when he says it takes time hun. Ask him again about what can you try now? Sadly, and I know it's far from easy, we're the ones who have to put in all the hard work but it will be worth it. Please trust your professionals angel - and if he really is useless, then talk to your gp about haing another cpn.
I don't know if this will help hunnie, but here's a link to an MSE thread which is supporting people who are cutting down.stopping drinking...

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1384963&highlight=alcohol

You've been able to take control yourself voofy - and that really is great! You should feel proud of that and hang on to that feeling for when you're feeling low. Again, as with many things, it's one step at a time - but you can get there.
Take care hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

BizzyBek

Tiff...you are wonderful! That is all!