Depression Support Thread

whitevanwoman

Sssssss wrote: »

thank you so much for your well reasoned words, the walk to school to pick up DS did me the world of good.

I really understand how even phoning work can be really really hard, I used to spend hours looking at the phone when I had to make a call or would just sit in the car for ages if I had to go somewhere and finally give up.

I'm sending over to you some of the strenght I have this afternoon in the hope it also will help you maybe just get showered and dressed.

here it comes

---

>>>>>>>

got it

Not got it yet, but it's a help knowing that it's on it's way and it might arrive later... :grouphug:

Thanks x

beachbeth

shazrobo wrote: »

hi all, i woke very early today, so excited waving the kids off this morning :j , the happy feeling didnt last too long tho, as i had counselling, and the first thing she asked was, how had i been over the school hols, and i just broke down in tears, at the end of the session, she asked me if there was any point having any sessions, as there is nothing she can do.

I don't think thats very helpful or understanding. Of course, you are going to feel like that after a stressful couple of weeks. What does she expect.

I had councelling for a while and didn't find it helpful at all. I had never been to councelling before and didn't know how it worked. I found it difficult to talk to a stranger (especially this particular stranger) and she said "you need to speak to me if you want to get anywhere with this" and that made me want to say even less!

Hugs to everyone else that needs it ((()))

whitevanwoman

beachbeth wrote: »

I don't think thats very helpful or understanding. Of course, you are going to feel like that after a stressful couple of weeks. What does she expect.

I had councelling for a while and didn't find it helpful at all. I had never been to councelling before and didn't know how it worked. I found it difficult to talk to a stranger (especially this particular stranger) and she said "you need to speak to me if you want to get anywhere with this" and that made me want to say even less!

Hugs to everyone else that needs it ((()))

I think counselling can be helpful in certain situations for some people, perhaps those who don't have a history of mental illness but who have had an emotional upheaval and need some support for a few weeks to get through it. For people who have clinical depression or other mental illnesses, I'm not convinced that counselling is always helpful, simply because counsellors are not trained to the same level as therapists and do not always have the tools to help with more ingrained behaviours or problems. My experience of counselling was that I felt that the counsellor opened up Pandora's box but then was not able to help me deal with the contents or help me shut it again until I was ready to deal with it all with different support.

This is my opinion based on my experience and I fully realise that for some people, counselling may be a godsend. It also very much depends, unfortunately, on funding - whether your local NHS Mental Health Trust offers long term psychotherapy or other talking therapies, and how long the waiting lists are and how urgent each individual referral is regarded. In some cases, having counselling with a counsellor through your GP might be your only realistic option.

I also think that there's an element of "he who shouts loudest, gets heard the best", which unfortunately means that due to the nature of our illnesses, people with mental health problems aren't very good at demanding appropriate treatment, and we tend to accept anything that's offered and are grateful for it.

Having a relative or advocate can really help - I've had help dealing with benefit problems and finances etc from a Mind advocate and he was great, very understanding, non-judgmental and very down to earth and practical, just what I needed at the time.

I'm very lucky to have a GP with a background in mental health so I feel very comfortable being able to discuss all the options with him - both talking therapies, support options and medication - and I know that I am not being fobbed off with the easiest, cheapest option.

I must also say that both during counselling and pyschotherapy, the first few sessions were very difficult and I really didn't want to continue with it. But as with anything, once you begin to form a trusting relationship with someone, it does become easier to open up. If you're thinking about not continuing with the counselling, my advice would be to give yourself a target of maybe 3 sessions and if you still feel its not helping you after 3 sessions then consider not continuing. Be honest with your counsellor about this - they can't change their approach if they don't know how you feel.

I hope this post isn't removed because I've given alot of thought to what I've written and how I've written it and I am not favouring any approach. My advice should be taken in the spirit that it is based on my own experience and that doesn't mean that I am right or that what works for me works for everyone.

As beachbeth has said above, "Hugs to everyone else that needs it" xx

Savvy_Sue

shazrobo wrote: »

hi all, i woke very early today, so excited waving the kids off this morning :j , the happy feeling didnt last too long tho, as i had counselling, and the first thing she asked was, how had i been over the school hols, and i just broke down in tears, at the end of the session, she asked me if there was any point having any sessions, as there is nothing she can do.

I do not usually post on the thread except in my 'keeping an eye on things' capacity, and I think wvw has said very well a lot of things I wouldn't have thought to say.

However, even if she can't 'do' anything, you might feel that it's helpful to have someone who is there to listen to you, and who gives you the right to speak and be heard. I know I have found this useful in the past, and that's clearly not something you're ever going to get from your boys!

Without knowing things which probably shouldn't be on the thread (like how you found this counsellor - referred via GP, privately etc - or what the purpose of it is seen to be) that's probably about as much as it's helpful to say, so I shall stop and go back to keeping a friendly eye on things.

whitevanwoman

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I do not usually post on the thread except in my 'keeping an eye on things' capacity, and I think wvw has said very well a lot of things I wouldn't have thought to say.

However, even if she can't 'do' anything, you might feel that it's helpful to have someone who is there to listen to you, and who gives you the right to speak and be heard. I know I have found this useful in the past, and that's clearly not something you're ever going to get from your boys!

Without knowing things which probably shouldn't be on the thread (like how you found this counsellor - referred via GP, privately etc - or what the purpose of it is seen to be) that's probably about as much as it's helpful to say, so I shall stop and go back to keeping a friendly eye on things.

Absolutely. Very good point.

slowlyfading

(((HUGS))) to you all.

Its been a hard day.

sf xx

whitevanwoman

Originally Posted by Sssssss

I'm sending over to you some of the strenght I have this afternoon ...

here it comes

---

>>>>>>>

got it

whitevanwoman wrote: »

Not got it yet, but it's a help knowing that it's on it's way and it might arrive later... :grouphug:

Thanks x

To slowlyfading

Am happy to share this with you - I'll let you know when it arrives;)

It's been difficult for me too today - it's a month ago today that the old fella went... it is getting easier in that I'm not crying so much, and the intensity of the pain and loss is getting less but there's still so many odd moments when the tears just catch me by surprise.

Just keep hanging on in there - I know that one day I will look back at the memories and smile rather than cry. In the meantime I have another hairy hooligan who I need to make memories with and he deserves the best from me.

Take care x

absolutebounder

shazrobo wrote: »

hi all, i woke very early today, so excited waving the kids off this morning :j , the happy feeling didnt last too long tho, as i had counselling, and the first thing she asked was, how had i been over the school hols, and i just broke down in tears, at the end of the session, she asked me if there was any point having any sessions, as there is nothing she can do.

it doesnt take a rocket scientist to work out that you cant cure depression until you sort out the source. The counsellor may well not be able to do that but she ought to be able to help in other ways to give you the tools to cope.
I think you could try and take a less submissive role with her and tell her what you expect from her and that doesnt include being masde to cry every vist.

absolutebounder

CCStar wrote: »

Nice new year - hopefully it will be less eventful than 2008, some events were good but some were tiring.

We need to concentrate on getting money now!

Happy New Year guys:)

Nice time to try with credit crunch. I just hope your business is recession proof

Teapartymum

Thank you for my warm welcome and for those who " know where im coming from" and understand my story.

Huge hugs to you all.

Today has been an odd day, things have been happening which normally would of drove me mental but today I "Over ride" them.

More hugs to you all.