Depression Support Thread

beachbeth

You are right, whitevanwoman. Just take each hour as it comes and don't think too far ahead. I can remember when I was at my worst feeling so much more relaxed in the evening because no one was going to come round and the phone wasn't likely to ring. If it did ring my hubby could tell people I was out or had gone to bed. Once I got to the evening I knew all I had to do was go to bed. So if you can just get through the day, as you say, thats another day you have managed to deal with.

razorblade, I feeling ok today as we've been to dinner with relatives who we are close to and, as BIL also suffers with depression, they understand me totally and I can be relaxed around them. Thanks for asking. Its nice of you to mention me.

However, we are about to go out to tea at my mums and other relatives are going to be there. Im a bit anxious but hoping that my mum won't be in a bad mood and that it goes ok.

Hugs to anyone that needs it. ((()))

whitevanwoman

thanks everyone for your hugs. much needed and much appreciated.
x

La-Cara

razorbladekisses wrote: »

La-Cara Welcome to the thread. How are you feeling today?

thanks for the welcome everyone. I've felt quite bad again today, decided I needed to get out the house for a bit, and then discovered that my car had been egged :mad: so had to spend half an hour in the cold cleaning it off. Feel a bit better now I've been out though, bought some of next years christmas cards for half price in the sale

hope everyone is well, big hugs for pink, whitevan and anyone else who needs one :grouphug: (even though the smiley is rather dodgy!)

Amber_Sunshine

ilovegreatdanes wrote: »

deep joy....
neighbours have got goin on their karioke machine and they have such quiet, great voices...NOT:(:(

I get the drunks exiting nearby bars and yelling at each other 7 days a week at 2am ... thank God for earplugs ...

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,I am fine today had a nice sleep this afternoon and I just wanted to lie there for ages and just sleep the rest of the day but I want some tea soon so must go and prepare it in a minute having baked beans on toast,just something thats nice and quick and light,Pinktwirl hope you are ok soon and everyone else thats feeling rather low at the moment.

*hugs* out to everyone.Thanks for asking after me RBK,hope you are well,yes my brother is lucky but his girlfriend is a great friend of mine and I like seeing her when my brother brings her to mums when they visit.

I have got her a christmas pressie which she wont get until February sometime so will be rather late.My Brother gave me another snow globe a french one and its lovely.Got a lovely collection.


chat soon

love and light,


Katie xxx

Amber_Sunshine

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLSH........

Ex Mr Sunshine told meI looked like a Belsen Victim. That says more about him than me. Ditto for the people who have given you so many negative messages. You (and Sam) need to get yourselves over here and I will verbally abuse your dad and tell you how gorgeous you are.

Now decide who are you going to believe - me and Sam, or the negative bunch o' !!!!!! in your past ...

LadyMorticia wrote: »

I feel not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not nice or kind enough. Not special enough.
I desperately want to be good enough. Sam tells me that I am more than good enough but I don't know. It's not to do with how he makes me feel because he makes me feel great. I've always been told that I am ugly and fat, and will never be good for anyone - that no one will ever love me, but I know my Sam loves me. I just wonder how long I'll be good enough for, but that's to do with how I feel about myself.
I feel so talentless. I used to think I was maybe a good photographer or digital artist but now I'm not so sure. I have nothing that I can say "Oh, I'm good at so and so". Although, Sam said that I should start a band because I am a talented vocalist (HAHA!). It isn't the first time that's been said to me but because I am a great music lover, they could just be saying it to not hurt my feelings. Sam is a brilliant musician though and I know he wouldn't lie as he takes music very seriously, but I just don't know.

I have decided that I am going to save up to have rhinoplasty - not because I'm vain, but because my nose is the main reason I hate my face. I'm okay with the other features (pretty much). Just my nose and my dad's are akmost indentical and looking at myself in the mirror is like looking at him - and he is a twazock. My nose is the only thing I want done, and Sam is backing me.Not because he wants me to change or anything but he knows how much my nose knocks my confidence.

Anyway, having a low evening, I'll hopfully be okay tomorrow.

xx

PinkTwirl

Tulip wrote: »

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,welcome Pinktwirl to the thread,I know the feeling,its the anti climax of christmas,I have been crying solidly for 2 days but I am feeling emotional at the moment and know why I am doing this as its part of life

Just said bye to my sister on phone this morning and to my brother yesterday,lucky thing is seeing New Year in in Australia,his girlfriend is Australian so is meeting up with her and seeing her family,doesnt get back to uk till Jan 15th,he flies out tonight and wont be in Australia until early Tuesday Morning as it takes a whole day to get there.

love and light,

Katie xxx

I hope you are ok. Crying can be good sometimes getting some of the emotions out but I hope some cheer comes along for you.

PinkTwirl

Hi WhiteVanWoman,

I hope you are ok. If it's any consolation, and I've had to remind myself of this, this time of year can be depressing, but it does pass. Posting here is not dumping at all.

ilovegreatdanes

hi.
thanks to everyone for your concerns.
if you really want to torture anyone, just try karioke!!!!!!felt like i had sleep deprivation this am.finally stopped around 2am so i suppose they are yearly consistant, iykwim:).....didnt want to go round as they are usually very quiet for rest of year, as are we.
the upside is that id have a great chance of winnin that "dont forget the lyrics" comp on tv....:rotfl: and i wont have to waste a stamp ,sending their application off to x factor:rotfl:

im really sorry to those who are sufferin atm, i know how hard it is, and the aftermath of yuletide really is the icing on the cake for most of us.everything bad just gets magnified at this time of year....and we still have the obligatory "happy new year" celebrations to cope with.
please just take a minute at a time and find your own way of coping as best you can.
just lately i have started doin games like word challenge on facebook cos i find it takes up the bit of my brain that dwels on stuff to make me feel even worse so before i know lots of time has passed.i also tend to find solace in prayers even though im not fervently religious.it helps me to make sense if i talk it out with myself and him upstairs.....although i would find a quiet spot alone ...(doin it walkin round netto isnt advisable due to all the funny looks you get.....although you will get the aisle to yourself pretty sharpish:rotfl: )


so now you have that image in your head , i hope i have made you smile alittle.

tiff....you are in my thoughts, look after you and god bless your mum.xxxxx

rkb....thanks for askin.im not too bad apart from my musical neighbours.hope you are ok as well.

re miro.....i hope hes ok and finding abit of happiness.sometimes its good to take time away from everything.sometimes you feel pressured to log on so you dont disappoint your friends then it gets to be all consuming and messes with your brain abit, spec if you have compulsive tendencies.its so good to know that ppl miss you and when you return, it feels so good.ppl here never judge, or begrudge you ....its like puttin on a comfy pair of slippers:A


im waffling again.....its the lack of sleep:rotfl:
love ilgd xxxxxxxx

whitevanwoman

ilovegreatdanes wrote: »

so now you have that image in your head , i hope i have made you smile alittle.

Bless you, thank you, I did smile.

As you probably know, talking to the dog is one of the best ways - he agrees with everything I say, is full of sympathy and affection, and he doesn't care what I look like or what I say.

Sadly I lost my eldest (and my first) dog 3 weeks ago. It has been heart breaking and I have been trying to fight off the depression ever since. I feel like I've lost a limb and there is a huge hole in my heart and a huge sense of loss. He was nearly 15 and for the first 7 years it was just him and me. I got him just a couple of months after I was first diagnosed with depression and I can honestly say I wouldn't be here today had it not been for him. I still find it hard to accept he's gone or to admit to how much I miss him and am hurting inside.

I think I could have coped with the grief had it not been for Christmas and the inevitable family dramas - being told I've spoiled Christmas by moping around, that I should think about all the millions of people who die or get killed, that I need to get control of myself, that it was only a dog...

I suspect that many people would think that my bond with my dogs is unhealthy but to me it is the only relationship I have ever had where I am accepted as I am and still loved despite my faults and mistakes.

I have had various different psychiatric diagnoses over the years - my family has shown little interest or understanding and think that by telling me what I "should" or "shouldn't" be, I can change and be what they want me to be. As a result of what's happened and been said this Christmas, I have now come to the conclusion that I am never going to be what they want me to be and that in trying to be such, I am losing myself and my own identity and that my self-esteem will always be non-existent if I am constantly trying to pretend to be something I'm not.

My other dog (& my 2 cats) is what's keeping me going. I do not wish to have any further relationship with any members of my family (divorced parents & siblings - I'm single, no partner or kids) because I am sure that it is my family's attitude which is a major contributory factor to my lifelong low self-esteem and depression. When someone tells you something enough times, you start to believe it...

I am trying not to wallow in self-pity and although my mood is still very low, I have sort of made some semi-definite plans for 2009 - to sell up and emigrate. I'd always said it was something I would think about once the old dog had gone. I think the time has come where having no ties, no dependents and no major responsibilities is actually a positive thing, by allowing me the freedom to make a choice based totally on what I want. I've spent the best part of my life to date simply surviving - trying to work through my illness in order to pay a mortgage I can't afford (but my parents think its better to be a penniless homeowner in an unrenovated Victorian house which needs major modernisation, than a tenant reliant on housing benefit), in jobs where I've not been able to progress due to time off sick etc, losing friends because I'm depressed and socially isolate myself etc. Perhaps now I need to move on, make a fresh start where no-one knows me & no-one knows where I am and I can make my own way in life based on what I want out of life instead of what I think I should be so that other people will like me.

To everyone else who has had a difficult time over Christmas, be brave and keep going. x