work colleague has crush on me.

McKneff

PasturesNew wrote: »

Just look her in the eye and say: I don't like the fanneh!

Sorry, but i cant hold it in any longer :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

superstylin

it does seem like she's being quite inappropriate. Is she being serious and saying these things to you while you are alone or is she making the comments in front of people and having a bit of a laugh over it?

babymum

she shares her feelings on a one to one basis in the office or during one to one meetings, i think she is being serious. other people have watched the way she is with me and said its odd. and the thing for me is that i feel uncomfortable and have told her but she doesn't get it.

babymum

superstylin

I think I'd avoid being in one-to-one situations wherever possible and keep your communications about business only. She may get the message if you refuse to acknowledge her inappropriate comments. Then if she continues, warn her against it by saying that you would have to consider mentioning her inappropriate behaviour to your general manager.

CFC

babymum wrote: »

she shares her feelings on a one to one basis in the office or during one to one meetings, i think she is being serious. other people have watched the way she is with me and said its odd. and the thing for me is that i feel uncomfortable and have told her but she doesn't get it.

babymum

I think you said the wrong thing by saying that you could be a friend in work with her up to a point.

I think that you need to reiterate that you are her manager and that your own professional standards do not allow for any friendship with the people that you manage, as it only causes problems one way or another for the manager and teams involved.

Smile very nicely and tell her it's nothing personal, but for you work is work and home is home.

Just keep on-message all the time and she will learn that she's banging her head against a brick wall.

ceridwen

Personally - I would have just said in the course of conversation (repeated several times - as people often take a while to "hear" messages they dont want to) that I'm just not interested in women - all that any other woman would ever be to me is a platonic friend - and (whilst not condeming women for being "interested" in their own sex - that I personally cant understand for one moment why a woman would be "interested" in her own sex - its totally beyond me). ANY woman who showed an "interest" in me in that way would be totally wasting her time doing so - as she wouldnt have a chance even if there wasnt one man left on the planet.

All of which would be totally true in my case - so no problem.

In your case - I dont know what the position is - but say it anyway.

Emmzi

can you get her transferred to another team?

Got2change

She knows that you're married, yes?
She knows that you're married to a man. yes?
(Going on your user name...) She knows you have a baby?
She knows - based on the above - that you are heterosexual?

Is she stupid?



(Some people...)

Zazen999

Personally I wouldn't mention home life in this situation - ever. It's none of her business.

babymum...what specifically has she said? You need to knock it on the head by being 100% professional and distancing yourself from her.

You are not her friend, you are her manager. If she asks why you said you could be her friend, you need to say that you are friends with all your staff, but that you still have managerial responsibility and if there is an issue, you are happy to arrange a meeting to discuss it, and asking what the matter is that needs discussing.


Don't have lunch with ANY other of your staff. Treat them all the same, as staff.

If she says inappropriate things [some other examples on here might help us see what she is saying], you need to respond as you would if anyone else said something inappropriate. How would you usually respond?

If she says 'you don't let me get close to you' say, I'm your manager, if you feel that you need more careful management, then please present a report to me by 3pm tomorrow, and we will meet with [insert another boss' name] and we can go through it together.

If she says 'you don't want to have lunch with me' say that you need to go through some figures with [the person you are having lunch with]. If you have lunch with other people at her level, stop it now - you're not there to be pally, you're there to manage them.

Otherwise, if you let it get too far into the situation, and she gets nasty - and you HAVE been out to lunch etc - she could pull a fast one and you could land in trouble for no reason. I've seen it happen with men and women, so take action now.

Is there another manager that can be called upon to take her aside if she makes any other comments and tell her it is not appropriate and the comment has been noted? You need to cover your back.

[Deleted User]

Make your manager aware of the situation and ask for their advice.

If this was to transpire in to something bad - ie. false accusations against you - you need to make sure there is documented evidence that you have had problems with this member of staff.

I disagree with the point made earlier, it IS possible to be friends with your staff but you need to make it clear that the main relationship between you is a professional one and this takes priority over any friendships.