work colleague has crush on me.

babymum

hi. without giving away too much i know one of my work colleagues (a woman) has a crush on me. i am happily married and not interested. any ideas on how i handle the situation? thanks
babymum

dobbie82

One way would be to talk about your wife wherever possible, so she gets the hint that you are not available (though if she is a bunny boiler this may make her more keen) If she is a normal human being she should take the hint.

dobbie82

oh now I am confused, just seen the name lol, so you are a woman yeah? same advice really only talk about your hubby.

superstylin

How do you know that they have a crush on you?

Cornball

Whatever you do, do NOT lead them on. I've made the mistake of being really friendly as I felt so bad but that only prolonged his misery and my anxiety.

No need to be rude, just stay professional and business like. Try not to be alone with her, politely refuse any attempts to see each other after work, oh and working your partner into conversations helps i.e. 'Oh my husband loves this outfit too' or 'My husband bought me this perfume, he's so thoughtful!' and just basically give the impression of how happy you are in your current situation.

Hope that helps.

babymum

i am a woman. . . its the way she is with me, the way she talks to me and says inappropriate things. other colleagues have even commented that the way this lady treats me is a bit odd. i have told her that i can be her friend to a point at work (i manage her) but i cant be as close as she wants me to be.

PasturesNew

Just look her in the eye and say: I don't like the fanneh!

superstylin

I'm just intrigued now! what kind of things is she saying??

babymum

she says i dont allow her to get close to me, she feels as if i am rejecting her if i say i cant go out with her for lunch/coffee due to a meeting, i could go on. its making me feel suffocated- i just want to be able to go to work and do my job.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

PasturesNew wrote: »

Just look her in the eye and say: I don't like the fanneh!

just laughed at this comment, and my OH wanted to know what i was reading so told him and he responded with "im not a dy** get on ya bike" (im sure his happily married lesbian sister would love to hear him saying things like that!)

docij

I'm sorry to say that her comments sound pretty manipulative, whether she's attracted to you or not. As her manager, there needs to be some professional distance anyway. Perhaps it would be useful to make sure you don't spend too much time with any of the other people you manage so that she can see that you are treating her the same as anyone else.