MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Insult by paying or let them struggle?

tallgirld

I wouldn't insult him. I would let him pay and then I would say thanks and probably buy a leaving present for him.

Anyway why is he taking me to a restaurant that he cant even afford?? I would of been happy to go Wimpy ;-)

2giraffes

Having spent 5 years in West Africa I would let the host pay knowing that it is important to them to do this. Then, as others have said, buy them gifts before I leave (so they can't offer to take me out again!). As for the parcel, it doesn't say you don't know what is in it, and chances are its simply goods that are unavailable or incredibly expensive in their country - family members who go off to more 'developed' countries are expected to send money and gifts back to family, regardless of whether they can afford it, so to have someone take it and not have to pay postage would be a huge help.

annmcc44

Young lady I know - from a European country - visited boyfriend of 6 months home country of Ghana, came back home safely with several wooden masks she had bought, all safely, then a couple of weeks later came on a weekend trip to UK with a girl-friend (Boy-friend still in European country) Was asked to give one ,ask to give one mask to his friends in London
Result - both stopped at Waterloo customs = and had 10 months in UK jail as masks were full of drugs (had been switched) Took this time & much of borh families money to prove they had not KNOWINGLY imported stuff.
Always carefully check stuff.
Hospitality - suggest you simply visit the family homw and meet everyone - not eat oput

Ebenezer_Screwj

I would never agree to deliver anything on a trip abroad unless I was certain of its nature. But having established that and placed myself in the position of guest it would be a gross insult to the head of the family to try and usurp the role of host by offering payment for hospitality. I would instead give them presents before my return home.

cumbrialink

The Question Is About The Hospitality Not Whats In The Parcel.

katecheshire

No one has commented on the fact that it says the person has already eaten!! It would make more sense to arrange to visit the family at another time and say you would love to share a family meal.
We had the opposite experience in Australia when we took our hosts to a local pub restaurant and had wonderful 3 course meals - the bill for 5 of us came to about £25 - almost embarrassingly cheap after all their hospitality!!

A.Jones

I'd let them pay. The price of the meal is probably less than the cost of posting the parcel from the UK to this third world country via a secure postal service. So the son / daughter can settle up with the father, as they saved the postage costs.

Penny_Pincher_37

Like a well-known bank advert, I think it's important to respect local culture. If the family have taken you out (rather than offering you a meal in their own home) and they want to pay claiming insult if they don't, I would respect that as I wouldn't want to offend them. I agree that in return it would be nice to buy them a present or perhaps take one of the children on a special treat, to a football match for example, but I think it's very important not to trample on the head of the family's feelings, particularly in a different country where the rules of hospitality (and pride!) may be stricter than ours.

digit_2

A good friend would not ask you to take the parcel in the first place.

Primrose

We found ourselves in a not dissimilar situation some years ago in a country which was desperately short of food. We resolved our consciences by sending them regular food parcels saying we often remembered their generous hospitality and hoped that in return they would enjoy eating some typical British foods. We later learned that these parcels had made an enormous difference to them in very difficult circumstances so felt we had been able to help without offending their pride and hospitality at the time.