what has your debt cost you other than money ?

meerkat2007

PinkTwirl, if it's any consolation, next year I will have been in the workforce for 30 years. I didn't go to uni, although I did do an HND in computing on day-release, completed 15 years ago.

My current salary is around £29k, which is bumping along the bottom of the pay scale for my job title, the top of which is about £23k higher than what I'm on. I always get excellent performance reviews, but they never seem to have any positive impact on my salary - which really galls me, as there are people doing the same job as me with less experience, or who are just not as good at the job as I am (I don't mean to sound conceited, but there's no other way I can think of to put it, and I feel uncomfortable saying it), and these people are on a higher salary than me. Oh, and because the people who aren't as good at the job as me end up doing lots of extra unpaid hours to stay on top of it, they get bonuses where I don't.

Yes, I am trying to leave the company, but there's a dearth of large employers in the area who could pay me the salary I need to get rid of my debt, and I can't relocate because of looking after my mother.

The bottom line is, I'm trapped by my debt in a job I'm close to hating, working for a company I (and a lot of other employees) detest.

(Sorry for moaning, everyone - once I started, I had to get it off my chest!)

PinkTwirl

Hi Bathgate,

You have a point, a lot of people get company cars financed for them. My old job would have given me anything out of the French/Ford car range, but it was business needs and I wasn't doing the mileage (15,000 needed a year). The next band up is German/Swedish but didn't want to stick around in that company just for a car which wouldn't even have been mine.

It seems that my salary isn't so bad for my age as I thought then.

Meerkat - I know what you mean about not getting up the scale. In my last job the scale was 25,600 - 38500. Of course, I was at the lower end! It's hard to move to another company when there aren't a lot of employers around, and still doubly difficult right now I bet.

People are so suprised by my degree yet I'm still not very far up the chain (was a level 1 manager and to be honest don't think I'd want to mange a team, lots of possible grievance situations there which I don't want involved in).

meerkat2007

PT - I'm sure that once the current economic situation is resolved, things will improve for all of us. Trouble is, it may take a few years! However, time is on your side; you've worked hard, and one day that will be appreciated by the right employer. You'll have a good job, with all the trappings that go with that - and no debt, because you'll have dealt with that.

I, on the other hand, am thinking about what my retirement will be like! It's 20 years away yet - all I want by then is to have the house in good order, and to have enough of a pension income to look after myself and the little rescue dog I hope to take on once I do retire, and to run a small car so that I and my little dog can go away for a few days occasionally.

paybacktime2008

I knew someone who drove a top of the range merc and sent his kids to private school. However, on paper, i had more money and drove an R reg! I have to admit that when I see people driving huge 4x4 and saloons, I tend to think one of two things...company car...or poor deluded fool.

Bitter? Moi?

CAFCGirl

well if it makes you feel any better at all I've been working for 5 years post studying and only earn 18k.....

Diana_Prince

I'm 24 started back at college this year (with the aim of going to uni next year), but unfortunately think I'm going to have to leave! Too expensive, I dont get any days off (when I do its studying), 13 hour days are affecting my health and I've been told I've got carpal tunnel from over do-ing it!! So if I don't cut down my hours then I'll have to have an operation and take time off from work and college!! Grrrrrr!!!!! I hate trying to make this decision!!

At it's worst it was £11,000! It cost me a social life, holidays, friends etc! Hoping to have it cleared by September!

(Sorry if I ranted...)

Jacks_xxx

What has my debt cost me besides money? What an interesting question!

A few sleepless nights definitely, and a few fairweather friends. (Most of my real friends have hung in there though - even though until the Credit Crunch hit they were completely bewildered and slightly scared by our lifestye changes.)

Some of my self respect - but that came back once we started tackling it the MSE way. Before MSE I remember with crystal clear clarity feeling very very very stupid indeed for getting into such a mess. And helpless. And useless.

A rung or two on the housing ladder I expect - although if there was ever a time that I as glad that we live in a house that's just about big enough in a slightly cheaper area (Or what passes for "slightly cheaper" around here!) then this is it! :eek:

My daughter's education possibly. She's really clever. I would have liked her to go to the local private girls school rather than just the best state school in the area but we couldn't afford the fees. Recently I have been speaking to my husband about moving her there for years 10 and 11 but he's not keen. (She's not either. )

Other than these, once I found MSE my debt has been all about positives. I don't recommend running up a barely sub 100k debt but it's been good for us in a lot of ways. I'm really sad and sorry that it's not the same positive experience for everybody.

Love Jacks xxx

migwella76

Hi all,

An interesting and heart warming thread.

There are days where you feel alone and a failure. Then you read a thread like this and appreciate others are in a similar boat to yourself.

It's reassuring that others are in a similar situation. I'm sad that you are all in debt with me, but it is great that we all have somewhere to come and talk about it. What would we have done 20 years ago in the days before the net and forums like this? I shudder to think as the support on this board is a huge relief.

My debts have cost me a lot ... but I have also gained from them in other ways.

I have debts of around £36k. Some of these debts are as a result of flash spending (cars, big tele's) but most are a result of starting my business (initial costs and keeping my roof over my head during the first few months).

I have been on a DMP now for close to 2 years now. It has eased my fears and enabled me to catch up on my sleep. I don't have much money to spare but I’m more content with my way of life.

For the 12 months prior to starting the DMP I went through a lot of stress 'dealing' with my debts. Sleepless nights. Physically retching. Depression. Isolating myself. This is what I mean by ‘dealing’ rather than talking them through.

With the economic outlook there is a good chance my business will cease trading over the coming months. This will make my life harder and maybe a return to the sleepless nights and so on, but I am better placed to tackle this situation than I was 2-3 years ago.

Pinktwirl's thread struck a chord with me. Feeling a failure. I think this has to be the biggest cost to me. It has shattered my confidence in myself. I was built up by my family to be something special as I was the only one from the family to go to uni. The truth is I’m not as great as they make out, but I’m not as bad as I feel. The truth is I’m somewhere inbetween these two markers.

There are some positives to come from my debt problems though.

I appreciate that the things I strived for aren't really worth it. Cars, clothes, gadgets. Only humans are stupid enough to believe that these materials make up for feeling inadequate about ourselves.

I have become closer to my family as I rent the property out and live with my folks (yep i'm 32 and live with mum and dad). This is a positive though as it has brought me closer to them in their senior years.

My mum is not too well so I can help her out and everyday we have a hug and tell each other we love one another (I had to interrupt typing this thread to get up and hug her before she went to bed). I may not have her around much longer so it is nice to have been put in this situation to appreciate her. Without my debts, this would not have happened.

The same goes for my Dad. He has become my best friend having spent little time with him as a child as he worked nights. Once he retired I was at uni then had my flat. We were passing ships for 20+ years but the last 3 have made up for this. Had my debts not happened I would have never got to know him, and he is worth knowing

I also have become close to the family dog. If I have a bad day, she takes my stresses away. She is an attention !!!!! and comes for fuss. Like a lot of women she is manipulative and is able to soften me up into taking her for walks, feeding her and providing fuss. If I have a good day, well, she just makes it even better.

One of the things I love about her is her basic life and what makes her happy. As long as she sees people, has food and drink (including tea), fuss, attention, a window to bark out of ... she is happy. I have come round to her basic way of thinking.

I’m single and would like to be with someone. In my pre debt days I would probably have been with someone who was materialistic and insecure as myself at that point. That kind of person would not be suitable for me now.

It sounds crazy, but I would like someone who is like my dog. It’s not every day a man makes a positive comparison between a dog and a woman, but today is that day. My dog and me have a relationship that isn’t conditional on material things. It’s about love and enjoying each others company.

Anyway, looking at the size of this post, feel free to remove if it takes up too much room.

[FONT=&quot]Bottom line from me is, my debt has cost me a lot, but it has also provided me with things money can’t buy. It’s a good trade off and I would go through it again to get where I am now … but what I would do to wipe that £36k [/FONT]

Buffythedebtslayer

Thats a lovely post Migwella,

Sounds mad but I know what you mean about your Dog, they have a marvellous appreciation of what is important in life.

I still miss my dog after 11 years.

please post more often

xxxx

clearmydebts

I agree. Fantastic post Migwella. It has made me sit up and appreciate my life. Yes, I am in debt but I will get rid of it and my family are the most important thing to me. Thank you.