what has your debt cost you other than money ?

hypno06

My debt has cost me a fair few nights sleep, a few holidays I would like to have had, and my dream house.

But.......it has gained me many things:

• a respect of what I have,
• the ability to bring my children up appreciating hard work and effort
• a great support network, on here, resulting in some friends I have made for life
• the realisation that there is free money out there for the taking - you just have to know where to look and make a little effort!

and so on......

So, when times seem bleak, when you think that nothing will ever be right as a result of your debt, look and see what you have learned from all of this, and see what you are taking forward with you.

bathgatebuyer

PinkTwirl wrote: »

My debt has cost me my self respect and I now class myself as a failure. I am nowhere near where I planned to be at this point in my life (31). My plan was get married, big house, 2 cars in the drive, great guy, kids, great group of friends. The lack of all of this has led me to spend like it's going out of fashion to fill in the gaps.

You've not killed anything.........................just summed me up perfectly (apart from the 31 bit, I'm 32!)

I plan over the next few years to buy a house man or no man. It will be a 3 bed semi - just me, the cat, my books and music stuff. I'll consider that a success as they aren't cheap in Edinburgh, but will be enough for me. I've just had to change my expectations as to what I consider success to be.

Of all the people I went to Uni with, there's one girl in particular doing really well for herself and has a great job on probably about £80K or so. Good-looking husband, mercedes, year old son - would I change places? Nah. She's stabbed everyone in the back to get where she is today and I have yet to hear anyone say anything positive about her. (She even had to resign from a previous job over falsifying some documents to keep a contract - don't think her present employer knows :rolleyes: ).

I'd much rather be little old me, honest and responsible for myself than a complete beeetch.

Pinktwirl, when I get my 3 bed semi here in Embra, you're more than welcome to visit and we can kill threads together!

PinkTwirl

CAFCGirl wrote: »

you've not killed it Pinky xx

Hi,

Thanks for that. Just feel a bit down. Feeling like I kill everything at the moment! Guess it's all getting to me. I was dreaming about Tesco value baked beans last night and in my dream I opened the can and there was about 10 beans and the rest of it was water.

Ok, I've even made myself laugh a bit now. If it wasn't for that I think I would have gone crazy so far.

I'd have been better having gone out and got a new car 2 years ago - I would have still spent the same money, but now wouldn't have that to fork out for either. I really wish I had now. Would have cost me £10k less in the long run.

Bum!

cassy

i would say my debt has cost me holidays, freedom and not having the cash to make improvements on my house, also i think my family has lost all respect for me for getting into this situation, they dont say it but when i have to say to them sorry i carnt afford it i just feel soooooo low especially when i see my brother and sister moving on and up in life and im still stuck

but like others have said i have woke up to what things cost and what is important in life......its just a shame my husband hasnt

PinkTwirl

Hi Bathgate,

Thanks It's probably why I feel so resentful of my ex. He took away all of that from me. He kept talking about the £350K house we would buy, we had a lot of money between us. He took all that away from me and the guys that have asked me out since have either had no teeth (at the age of 30), seen them shouting abusively at their ex girlfriends, or steal money from their friends. Wonderful! I don't want one of Jeremy Kyle's rejects!

On £29K, after 5 years at uni I would have expected more at my age than £29K. How the hell do people afford shiny Mercedes and BMW's? I'm wondering what I am doing wrong, or do we all have to be a Peter Jones just to afford a new car?!?!?!?!!!

I know the type of person you mean though. Doesn't give a damn about her friends, just gets on with it. I can't stab people in the back, but I've had it done many times to me.

I hope you get your house soon.

p.s. Clearmydebts - definitely sticking around for our challenge, I never walk away from a challenge!

hypno06

£29k after 5 years at uni is not that bad! I think you need to cut yourself a bit of slack here. Those people with the brand new cars are often buying them with credit, or have more debt than you will ever have - all to make them look good, feel better or whatever. In the recent years of easy credit this has become the "norm" but the next few months and years will put an end to that, and you will be better placed than they are because you are already on your way to sorting out your debt!

meerkat2007

In no particular order:

• No holidays;
• No money to spend on the house;
• Not being able to look after my mum the way I would like to;
• Feeling bad because I just increased my debt through having to buy a new (used) car - public transport just isn't feasible to get to work;
• Feeling unable to get seriously involved with a man due to my level of debt (which has existed at varying levels since my early/mid-twenties and I'm now 46).

I feel particularly bad about the car - I squeezed £800 out of my budget to pay for repairs above the usual servicing etc last year, when I might as well have taken the plunge and bought a new one with that money instead.

Some of the money came from a refund of dental charges through a dental benefit at work - £198 that I was looking forward to using to pay off some debt, but instead it went on a car I no longer have.

And now the company I work for is looking to reduce its UK workforce by about 25% over the next few months, so I'm just keeping my head down and hoping I can avoid the axe.

Ain't life grand?

PinkTwirl

Yeah, I keep trying to remind myself that a lot of people got their shiny new cars from house remortgages (a thing of the past now for the next few years I would imagine). My ex got his shiny car that way, otherwise he could never have afforded it. I guess you could say I'm a bit jealous.

This is 10 years later and I'm on 29K. I hope I'm not in another 10 years!

Oh well, hopefully the cost of living doesn't keep rising!

poorandindenial

I am doing reasonably well work wise and I haven't stabbed anyone in the back, not everyone is like that and you don't have to be like that to do well.

Pink, how long have you been working? £29k is not a bad salary.

When I finished my 5 years of uni I started in a job on £18k. Almost eight years later I am on considerably more than that and have worked my @rse off for it but know lots of people who are in £28-35k bracket at between 5-10 years post uni and some that are either side of that by a wide margin.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you might not have the things that you assiciate with 'success' but you are also probably not as badly off as you think and are certainly NOT a failure.

I racked up my debt because I was trying to live a life that I couldn't afford, now I could afford it except I have the milstone of debt. Those people that we look at and think are more successful than us may or may not be, but if you had passed me in teh street 2 years ago you might have thought I was more successful than I was, rather than up to my eyeballs in debt.

bathgatebuyer

PinkTwirl wrote: »

On £29K, after 5 years at uni I would have expected more at my age than £29K. How the hell do people afford shiny Mercedes and BMW's? I'm wondering what I am doing wrong, or do we all have to be a Peter Jones just to afford a new car?!?!?!?!!!

I know the type of person you mean though. Doesn't give a damn about her friends, just gets on with it. I can't stab people in the back, but I've had it done many times to me.

The house is probably a year or two off - nervous about selling my place in the present climate. Pretty sure it would do ok though as it's a popular block and every OAP in Edinburgh seems to want to live here :rolleyes:

I'm on £32K 10 years out of Uni so we're sounding pretty similar! I know lots of people in my profession get huge car allowances (and I don't get a car or an allowance) of £400 - £800 a month :eek: to provide themselves with a car. But you also only have to look on here to see the numbers of people who have secured loans or huge personal loans to pay for cars. It's not worth the worry in my eyes. In the words of that great philosophical mind, um, er, Shania Twain, it don't impress me much! I used to think of cars as status symbols but now don't as we don't relaly know how they're being financed. I mean, is it better to be driving around on a Merc that you have a secured loan for that you'll be paying for the next 7 years or a 3 yr old Fiesta you own outright? I know what I'd rather have. Funny though that people would see a Merc as being far superior to a Fiesta how can you really judge who has the better 'lot' in life? Part of what changed with my DFW journey was not wanting something at any cost, but taking what I could afford.

And yeah, she was a serious backstabber! :rotfl:There's a lot of them out there and unfortunately they don't always get found out. When they do though, it's bloody funny :rotfl: