what has your debt cost you other than money ?

edinburgher

Well, your mortgage is the single biggest lifetime expense Bathgatebuyer, so I'd say you're doing great!

poorandindenial

Hi Rammy

I guess that I lost my sense of the value of things. When I was a kid my parents used to always go on to their friends about how good I was with money, how I was a saver etc etc. But then I grew up, went to uni and spent like crazy. I now have it back and can't believe how easy it has been to reprogramme my brain (why didn't I do this years ago) yes I still have the odd pang and I still slip up royally from time to time, but in the main I am doing OK now.

This isn't to sit here and congratulate myself but I remember that no-mans land feeling when you have done all the doing to get things sorted and it all starts to tick over and you don't have much in the way of debt busting activity from one payday to the next so I wanted to try to explain that in a year you might look back and think 'flipping heck, that was not as bad as I thought it would be'. In this game the boring in between payday bits can be good things.

Believe me, sub £25k DOES feel amazing, I can't wait for sub £10k now - about 12 months away (hopefully) so hang on in there.

Bunnyinthelights

Interesting,

I could say I have lost friends (because I have) and it has deeply affected my relationship with my DH (nearly ended our marriage) and I spent nealry 3 years having sleepless nights, stressed and unhappy-I nearly didnt get my most recent job becasue of it-HOWEVER, I do try and not let it ruin my happiness now. I was bad with money in the past, but I am not a bad person. Relationships can be healed and there is a reason that marriage vows say 'for richer or for poorer' becasue money issues will strain even the strongest relationship-but you cannot let it CONTROL your life. I know many MANY people that are extremely thrifty, but have money in the bank, and I have no problems saying 'sorry, I havent got the money for that' and I really dont worry what people think!

We dont go out loads, but we make and effort to try once in a while-we dont go on lavish holidays-but save to go away to a caravan and frankly, we don't suffer or feel we are mssing out. I make sure to count my blessings and I quickly relaise how wealthy I truly am, I have incredible friends, a warm house, food in the fridge and clean clothes to wear, and we are all healthy. What more do I really need?

Life is for living, dont live in the past regretting everything.

I am sorry you lost the love of your life, I hope you find someone soon who sees the person inside, not the one judged by money.

clearmydebts

Ditto Poorand,

I want to be sub 10k in 12 months time too!

elsie52

Hi Guys

I also know what it means to lose Peace of mind, and holidays, meals out, new clothes, perfumes, buying things whenever I needed.........but it had to happen, and one day when all my debts are paid off I will be able to have those things again......but this time they will be bought with MY cash and not the credit card or the overdraft. I think at this time of year it seems to hurt more that money istight, especially when children are involved, and I have 2 grandchildren whom I wish I could buy everything they wanted, but realistically I know that I can't. More to the point neither do they need it, what I can give them is my time and love..of those I have plenty and they are also free. So its onwards and upwards folks, and by this time next year we will all be slightly/lots less is debt. Sorry Rammstein that you lost the love of your life, but you'll find happiness at some point and meanwhile count your blessings, just as I will be doing...

PinkTwirl

mcjordi wrote: »

no holidays, i want a newer bigger car so i will have to be debt free before i save for a one

Same here, my P reg Polo won't last any more than a few more years. Loathing getting into it now, everyone seems to have shiny BMW's and the like (not that I want one of them anyway). They probably have tons of debt though as well.

You will get there Rammy Just sorry you've had such rotten luck. When I met my ex, we both had £20K of debt. He remortgaged, I paid off about £16K in 2 years. Just ended up spending it again when we split. spent in about 2 and a half years £35K more than I had.

Now down to £21K roughly and £112,000 mortage for a £98K flat. One day Depression can be a terrible thing. Friends usually don't stick around to help, they just want people there when they are buying the drinks and happy.

sistercas

no holidays
I feel terrible when the kids want something and I cant give it to them especially when all their friends seem to have all these things. I seem to permenantly say no. the kids are a bit older now and I think they understand to a degree . But I feel embarrasssed too about having to say we are in debt

fudgecat

What an interesting thread. Debt made me lose my freedom (or perhaps my perception of freedom). Once the bills and mortgage are around your neck you are stuck: in your job, in your house, with the daily grind. The bright side, however, is that you can take that debt a kick it into submission, watching it dwindle month by month. Ours seems to have several lives and has rallied again in response to paying for daughter`s weddling dress and honeymoon:eek:

I`m really sorry that debt ended your relationship, Rammsteain 1. Nonetheless, you are getter to grips with things and will be a stronger person for it.

happy_chick_3

I have had to delay working in Sydney - when the debt is gone I will go - 2009 is going to be very exciting for me!

MummyOnAMission_2

No bigger house. We live in a 2 bed house 1 tiny bedroom and 1 medium size and have 3 young children they have the bedrooms so have some sort of normal life and room for toys etc and we sleep downstairs on a sofabed
I could feel sorry for myself but who cares i get to watch tv in bed if I want with the fridge just next door lol! Its not for ever just til paid our debts off. So will be worth the wait.

Well done Rammy for getting started, its hard at first for a while but as many on here have shown and said its not forever and theres hundreds in the same boat!! Keep up the good work!