Can Edinburgher be debt free and a mortgage holder by 30?

doodledo_2

aim to please

edinburgher

The drip drip of Dooyoo suggestions being approved continues and I have finally got enough points for that £10 voucher

Have also gone over the 10,000 point mark with Nectar and am actually starting to get close to some vaguely decent rewards (think it's 14,000 for a Eurostar return to Paris, Lille or Brussels?)

Had a bit of a heart to heart with the GF last night about life, the universe and everything and am feeling a bit down in the dumps.

While I'm glad to see that we're on the same wavelength about children (she danced around the kitchen singing 'girlfriends just want to have babies!'), I don't see how any of my supposed career goals fit in with that. I certainly couldn't afford to own a house and keep her and a baby alive on a new chef's salary, so maybe my current course etc. is a waste of time?

Starting to think that I'm going to really need the stability of the civil service in a few years time and that I should focus on being good at the job I already have, as opposed to chasing after the one I want?

Sometimes it feels like we need the wisdom of Solomon, doesn't it?

InaPickle

edinburgher wrote: »

Had a bit of a heart to heart with the GF last night about life, the universe and everything and am feeling a bit down in the dumps.

While I'm glad to see that we're on the same wavelength about children (she danced around the kitchen singing 'girlfriends just want to have babies!'), I don't see how any of my supposed career goals fit in with that. I certainly couldn't afford to own a house and keep her and a baby alive on a new chef's salary, so maybe my current course etc. is a waste of time?

Starting to think that I'm going to really need the stability of the civil service in a few years time and that I should focus on being good at the job I already have, as opposed to chasing after the one I want?

Sometimes it feels like we need the wisdom of Solomon, doesn't it?

Ed, you are under 30 if I remember correctly, so don't worry about the whole having babies thing yet in terms of money...don't give up on your career aspirations for that. It might just mean that you have to delay having them for a few years, but that things would work out better in terms of a life/work balance overall. It seems to me that you really, really want this cookery course, but things will be more difficult to juggle around when you factor babies into the equation: imagine working for the CC, trying to do a cookery course in a few years when your GF & baby(-ies) really need you there, and then trying to spend time with them! And you don't want to end up doing a job you don't really like forever and ever, then become a grumpy-pants at home, do you? As for your GF, she works, doesn't she. so unless you guys are planning on her giving up work after the end of her maternity leave, the initial fall-out wouldn't be any different to what you are currently living on. Plus, between here and there, you guys might end up having a 'happy accident' which will take all uncertainty out of the equation, and if the worst comes to the worst, you'll manage just fine one way or another (I have a friend fit to burst with twins who ended up pregnant in the most hair-raising circumstances!).

It's nice that you and GF are on the same page, perhaps you just need to decide when would be the most prudent time to start your new family book?

edinburgher

Thanks for the thoughts.

I know that it's hard not to be grumpy when you're working in a job you don't love, but either way, cooking for a living is going to be a good few years off. I'd always seen myself starting my own business, which isn't going to be cheap. The irony of wanting to start my own restaurant/caf! is the fact that you can't really afford to do it if you're working as a chef for somebody else!

Regardless of my current work grumbles, it offers relative security, flexible working arrangements and a reasonable wage for a days' work that I know I can do.

Also, the GF's working arrangements mean that she's unlikely to get a part-time job that pays a similar wage (pro rata) to what she gets now. So, I would be the main bread winner.

So - I don't think I can afford the £400/mth wage drop, loss of cs pension and total loss of both job security and flexible working that this would bring.

I'm not being pressured, but I'd like to be a young(ish) Dad. Even at current reckoning I'll be 30 or so before we have a sprog - I honestly don't know if I'd be happier delaying it further.

Little_Maya

Looks like you need cheering up Ed

Don't worry too much about the "how are we going to fit it all in" thing, when it all happens, you just fit it all in lol. When my parents had me, my dad was working full time (and long hours at that) he was a research scientist and was away for 3 or 4 months every year studying stuff in the middle of nowhere, my mum was a medical student so couldn't take any time off, she still managed to look after me, her studies, do shifts on ward, run the house and 2 dogs as well :rotfl:

As for the financial side, well can you see yourself in the same job in 15 years time? You might have security but if you're end up being utterly miserable, is it worth it?

oh and the nectar points... the 14000 points you said you'd need are worth £70 off shopping, but you can buy a eurostar return for £60 if you book early (and Eurostar's on Quidco too )

edinburgher

Looks like you need cheering up Ed

I don't, honest! That said, thing I probably will be giving the course the boot

It all boils down to the fact that I won't be able to use the new skills for years and for that reason I don't think it's a good investment at the moment. I'd lose £10k/year if I start again as someone's employee and I just don't think I can justify that.

I have no intention of being in the same job in 15 years time, but I'll be able to start my own business a lot more readily with an extra £5k a year (after tax) to save! Better to have tried something and realised that it wasn't going to work out than to not bother at all and go through all the 'what if?' nonsense....

Little_Maya

Maybe give it a little bit longer before booting the course? Even if you can't use what you learn in a work environment straight away, you'll be able to perfect all your skills at home over the next few years and it'll probably give you an advantage when you decide to go for it. I do see your point about the extra money

edinburgher

Maybe give it a little bit longer before booting the course?

Ah, but if I finish up now I'll get an (almost) full refund! If I leave it any longer I'll have to pay for a semester of tuition that I won't get.

I agree with what you say about perfecting skills at home - that's probably my only gripe with the course (we essentially get 30 mins of tuition and the rest is just practice). I think I'll probably get as good results from reading/cooking at home and researching stuff as an individual. After all, it is my job to find relevant information.

doodledo_2

Ed

Giving up the course is obviously something only you can decide. I must admit I am in the "go for" it camp as once kiddies come along such dreams and ambitions are very hard to ressurrect as there is always something else that needs doing or paying.

The fact you and your GF are on the same wave length with regards to the kids issue is brilliant as something like that can add so much unnecessary pressure to a relationship.

I am very much in the camp of not worrying about the money when it comes to kids. I had my daughter at the height of my debt and repayments etc but we managed.

I can totally understand your thinking though when it comes down to the security the CS offers over so many other jobs. It really is a toughie.

Kids don't care how much you have saved, whether you own your house or rent, all they want/need is happy parents who love them and care for them and that is all down to the person you are not the money you have or earn. I think we as a society put so much pressure on ourselves to have our own house, debt free, savings etc etc when we have kids but trust me they don't care one bit.

InaPickle

I think a lot of other people have said what I tried to say, only in a shorter and more eloquent manner.