Applicable seperation, need a solicitor?

antony_

Hi
I hope someone can advise here. My wife and I split 2 months ago, the split was applicable, I moved into a room and now that I'm out we both agree that we want to split permanently and in general we are able to talk etc, I have access to my daughter whenever I want but the marriage is definately over.

Details:
- The house is in my name
- Theres about 50% equity in it
- We both have jobs, her salary is about 2/3rds mine.
- We have a 5 year old girl
- The remaining mortgage is about 18 years.
- She didn't start contributing to the house until about 2/3 years after I bought it.
- We are on a 5 year fixed mortgage, unfortunately about 3.5 years remaining

Now we have to sort out the finance. Personally I'd like to not have to pay a lawyer but instead take 50% of the equity, take on 50% of the debt (about 4k each) plus 50% of whatever we have to pay in legal fees and then sign everything to her. After that I'll pay child maintenance as calculated by the CSA and thats that.

I ca't see how we can prove how the debt got racked up, there were some debts added to the mortgage originally but again its too long ago to work out who spent what and why.

Does this sound fair? Do we really need to pay for 2 solicitors to decide who gets what? We don't have much money to deal with anyway and solicitor fees are only going to come out of that small pot and make it smaller?

Any advice?

Bella79

when i got divorced i diddnt bother with solicitors we sorted it out between us both
when we wanted the divorce we went to a solicitor then told them we had sorted things out between us and wanted a straight forward divorce cost about £400
one thing though as well as a divorce dicree absolute
u also want a clean break order or something called something simlar theis means that in future if u or oh come into money etc etc neither one has got a stake on eachother
im sure theres some more knowlageble ppl than me jst telling u my experience
u can even do a divorce online apparently there quite good so ive been told x

KellyWelly

I think it's great that you are being so grown up and sensible together about everything but I don't see really why you would take half the equity in the house. Your daughter still needs somewhere to live and you're the one who's left the home. Personally if I was in that situation I would tell my husband that I was keeping the house and he could shove off. Maybe that's just me but I do think she is being daft to let you take half the equity. How is she going to pay that mortgage after you're gone and still maintain the standard of living your daughter is used to?
If you take half the money from the house is your daughter going to go without so her mum can pay the bills? I think (I may be wrong) that if you were to go to solicitors your wife would get the house and you'd get nothing from it unless it's all in your name. How did she not contribute towards the mortgage? Was she not working outside the home and earning because she was home caring for your baby?

KellyWelly

I re-read your post and see now that the house is in your sole name. I suppose if that's the case then your wife doesn't have a leg to stand on legally regarding keeping the house so whatever you offer her then she'll have to accept or see a solicitor for advice.

Why is the house in your sole name if you are married and your wife was contributing towards the mortgage? Forgive me for saying so, but she's even dafter than I thought at first.

wannabe_sybil

If you are married it does not matter whose name the house is in - it is considered part of the assets of the marriage and without children would normally be a 50/50 split as a starting point, regardless of who paid what from when.

As there is a child of the marriage a court would normally allow the parent with residence to live in the house until the child is 18 before any sale to release equity.

I'm really sorry, I expect this is an unpleasant bit of news.

You do not need a solicitor to get a divorce, the forms and advice are on the HMCS website. If you or your wife or both of you go to solicitors, they will give you both advice to do all that you can to protect your own several positions. It will then start to get expensive, as both solicitors will push for 'better' deals and yes, the fees will stack up swiftly. Your wife, if she is on a low income, may qualify for legal aid, but that is often paid back out of sale of the house.

Also, the 50% that you are proposing is one half to you, one half to two dependants on a lower income. Will your wife have enough to support your child, even with CSA level payments?

Getting divorced is usually the best and speediest way to destroy your financial position.

Also - grounds for divorce - adultery, behaviour, two years separation with consent, desertion, five years separation. Unless you petition on the first two grounds you will have to wait at least two years from the date of separation to file the divorce petition. It does not sound as if you could claim the first two unless you are creative. Using adultery as grounds for divorce can affect the financial settlement. Will your financial position remain stable during that time?

I am sorry to be so negative about all this. I do hope things work out for you. Only half tongue in cheek - if it is amicable have you considered Relate?

antony_

When my wife first moved in with me she was a student, then she was on a
low salary for a while and we had a joint account, so effectively she didn't contribute much to the household bills. Shes spent lots of money over the course of the marriage while I spent little, it was one of the reasons for the seperation, her spending was out of control and causing constant arguments

> As there is a child of the marriage a court would normally allow the parent > with residence to live in the house until the child is 18 before any sale to > > release equity.

but both parents need somewhere to live? Without the equity I would have to rent indefinately. If she remortgages she will have enough to live on. If we did wait then how much would I get at the end of that period?

What if I suddenly moved back in? Now I'm in residence? It would kill both of us if I did that and definately upset my daughter

If I did wait the 13 years to get cash what rights would I have w.r.t. the house, could I leave my belongings there while I saved for a deposit? Would I be expected to contribute to the mortgage?

> It will then start to get expensive, as both solicitors will push for 'better' deals

which is why I don't see the point of this if we can agree on something sensible. Its a shame we can't go to someone who can say what a fair deal
would be

> Also, the 50% that you are proposing is one half to you, one half to two
> dependants on a lower income. Will your wife have enough to support your > child, even with CSA level payments?

yes.

>. Will your financial position remain stable during that time?

her salary is likely to get closer to mine, mine isn't likely to change significantly

> Only half tongue in cheek - if it is amicable have you considered Relate?

its amicable in that we agree we want to split and don't want our daughter to be affected adversely

thanks for the reply

antony_

> As there is a child of the marriage a court would normally allow the parent with residence to live in the house until the child is 18 before any sale to release equity.

I sounds like my rights are affected by my having to move out, but sensibly this was the right thing to do. At the moment all the bills are still in my name including the mortgage, do I lose more rights by handing them over to her?

MrsTinks

So long as your name is on the mortgage and the deeds you have the right to move back in any time - she cannot force you out.
Personally I would speak to her and suggest what you have planned here... she may think it's a "fair" agreement given your history but be prepared for that she might want as much as she can get - we don't know her or you so we're working either from personal experience or what facts who know
If you don't ask you won't get
If you can't reach an agreement between you THEN you need to get solicitors involved. And she will have a lot of rights to what might morally be yours because you have a daughter together and you were married. Does the guy get the raw end of the deal? Yes sadly often he does... even in the cases where the split isn't his doing or choice. So if she isn't willing to agree to what you suggest then you need to go see a solicitor!

antony_

We're now split, if she started to rack up debts and I started to save for a deposit, from this point in time, would I be expected to pay off her new debts.

Could she withdraw equity from the house, even though her name isn't on
the mortgage?

Got2change

antony_ wrote: »

We're now split, if she started to rack up debts and I started to save for a deposit, from this point in time, would I be expected to pay off her new debts.

Could she withdraw equity from the house, even though her name isn't on
the mortgage?

In theory she of course shouldn't be able to - BUT - stranger things have happened so it is in your own best interests to make sure that the lender is aware of your new domestic arrangements. Ditto the Bank if you have a joint account.

As amicable as "things" may be at the moment, talk of money, property, future wealth, who paid what where and why is all guaranteed to test the most friendly of divorces.

silvercar

A friend in similar situation to you had a choice, take 30% of the equity now or 50% of the equity when the younger child reached 18.

The 30% represented the husbands obligation to provide a home for his children.