Applicable seperation, need a solicitor?

Got2change

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

Antony - just wanted to say that I disagree with the poster's statement in bold - very negative and not necessary so.
I would agree with your thinking above re both parents being equally fulltime in the child's life in the scenario you present.
I hope you can find a way to work things out financially and stay very much a part of your daughter's life.
Good luck

You have your right to disagree. However, it is not SO negative, simply realistic.
I would be interested to see what happens once the process gets underway; I said that it won't be neatly packaged; wherever the elements of people and money [not forgetting love, past and present, and the wishes of a child] will ensure that smooth sailing is unlikely.

galvanizersbaby

Got2change wrote: »

You have your right to disagree. However, it is not SO negative, simply realistic.
I would be interested to see what happens once the process gets underway; I said that it won't be neatly packaged; wherever the elements of people and money [not forgetting love, past and present, and the wishes of a child] will ensure that smooth sailing is unlikely.

I think it's one of those things that everyone will have a different opinion on especially when they have experienced it themselves.
I was speaking from my own experience as I'm guessing you are speaking from yours.

Apols I too did not see your comment re not posting on the thread anymore

lostinrates

antony_ wrote: »

Hi
I hope someone can advise here. My wife and I split 2 months ago, the split was applicable [.......................]

Any advice?

With absolutely no disrespect intended I would suggest you might need legal support with this.

It is wonderful that the split is amicable (?) and that its likely there will no issues with communication over parenting, but its important that this remains the case. Mistakes over dealing with this could make it harder emotionally. As the separation is amicable and you can agree a lot outside the solicotors' offices then costs might be minimised, but the cost of inflicting further damage on your relationship with the woman who will remain a co-parent and your child is probably worth avoiding mistakes over.

zzzLazyDaisy

Do you have a pension? If so she will be entitled to a share of it under the pension splitting laws on divorce.

Also, while the CSA formula determines the maintenance for the child, that is not the end of it. With a young child, and a lower income than you, your wife will almost certainly be entitled to maintenance for herself as well.

She is also likely to get more than 50% of the house because she is the primamry care giver (yes you may have your daughter on a regular basis, but presumably the child benefit will be paid to your wife?)

However well intentioned you are, it will be in your wife's best interests to see a solicitor and find out what her legal rights are - and therefore by definition it is in your best interests to also see a solicitor.

SandC

Yes but the OP wants to avoid all this legal entitlement stuff and if they both agree on it then it avoids the need for a court to decide who gets what. You can agree maintenance between you. This kind of advice is fine for those who can't reach an agreement amicably, but to go down this route when you have both decided on a suitable approach is just daft - it merely lines the pockets of solicitors and can often create bad feeling and ruin what was formally a friendly agreement.

I would never go to the CSA if it could be avoided by making arrangements that suit both parties.

Same thing goes for the house - solicitors will just battle it out until one side gives in to the other. There is no cut and dried ruling over whether a mother gets more of a share of the property - at the end of the day she still has to be able to afford to stay there. I remember a friend of mine and her parents split up. Her previous stay at home mum had to go out and get a job, she still couldn't afford to continue living in the house they had all shared so had to sell up and downsize. It's a myth that the one who has custody of the child has to have the lifestyle they previously did. As can be seen by the many thousands of men and women who disappear after divorce and contribute nothing.

zzzLazyDaisy

You cannot avoid intervention by the court where children are concerned, because the court has a duty to consider the welfare of the child before any orders are made. So even if the parties come to an amicable arrangement, the court will still require basic disclosure of income and assets. At that point most (not all) parents who are the main care givers do in fact seek legal advice.

peachyprice

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

You cannot avoid intervention by the court where children are concerned, because the court has a duty to consider the welfare of the child before any orders are made. So even if the parties come to an amicable arrangement, the court will still require basic disclosure of income and assets. At that point most (not all) parents who are the main care givers do in fact seek legal advice.

That really is not at all true.

If you are on good terms all you will have to provide the court is statements from each of you setting out your intentions for your daughter, as long as the court is satisfied that you each agree to equal access and responsibility court will ask for nothing more.

Antony, I've been through an amicable divorce including property and children, with the barest involvement of solicitors, it can be done, but you need to be 100% sure that it will remain amicable.

seven-day-weekend

Why can't he just have 50% of the equity of the house and then pay maintenance for his child? He says his wife can afford the mortgage.

Some of you seem to be suggesting that his wife has ALL the house AND the maintenance for the child (that bit is fair enough) AND maintenance for herself?

In what way is that anything like fair?

(edited to add - just seen the OP has now decided against this himself, so not relevant in his case. But still don't see why others suggest his wife should have everything and him nothing!).

SandC

I think it's one of these myths that perpetuate that a man leaves a family home and is left with nothing. If that looks to be on the cards then a good solicitor for him is essential.

bryanb

An amicable divorce settlement often becomes less amicable when new partners (maybe with children) come into the picture. My suggestion regarding any agreements reached in the early stages is. It is better recorded in writing and witnessed, perhaps by a solicitor. My experience of divorce was 30yrs ago so cannot advise on todays legalities. However I am very aware that people negotiating these things tend to interpret them the way they want to.
Overall consulting a solicitor is the cheapest option in the long run.