Applicable seperation, need a solicitor?

Filey

What about mediation? This is not about trying to re-make the marriage but about reaching a fair arrangement to which the courts will then agree. The mediators are trained in Family Law and help the ex partners to reach an agreement about money and property which is fair to all concerned. A solicitor will put you in touch with mediators, or perhaps the CAB. Or maybe someone on this list has experienced it.

And as someone said, it is really important to have everything agreed in black and white by the courts as who knows what changes the future will bring.

good luck

jungli_jim

Anecdotal.

I offered my ( now) ex in 2006 £170,000 out of £225,000 worth of house equity as a initial settlement, before she went to get legal advice, it was turned it down on her solictors advice, she wanted more (100% of the house equity)and £600 PCM spousal maintenance. I would get to protect my pension £250,000. We were offered mediation, after having her inital offer placed i realised mediation was going to be worthless.

Whilst this was going on i continued to live in FMH paid mortgage and £460 PCM for 2 children. Also sought and got a contact order for alternate wekends, XMas, holidaye ETC...2 visits to court and CAFFCASS, easier to get this order if you are still living in the house.

During all she was advised by her solicitor to take me to court for Maintenace pending suite, she got £500 a month extra ( she wanted £700 and 6 months backdated, it was backdated 1 month). In doing so lost her legal aid and became a private client costs went from £110 a month to £200+ VAT a hour.

By the time we went to court she was over £40,000 in debt, owed legal aid £7500 and loan to cover her legal fees.

Offered tio allow her to stay in FMH with associated charge when youngest reaches 18 but she wanted it sold to clear her debts.....judge saw this.

She walked out of court with effectively £150,000, some £20,000 less than i had offered and no order for spousal maintenance. I pay 5 p a year in nominal, and have protected my pension £12,000 a year from age 40, and gratuity of £55,000.

Court order to pay £460 a month child maintenance.

If you think she's being unrealistic or not fair then let a judge decide, my ex lost £20,000 pursuing spousal and she didn't get it.

To bring this up to date she and my kids are now living in a 3 bed semi bought at the peak of the market, neighbours bigger house is on the market £15K less than she paid.

With house prices crashing i reckon that by the end of next year i'll be able to re buy and cover any mortgage with savings and gratuity.