Son taking drugs - How would I know?

chocomonsta

I hate the fact that he smokes weed and I know the dangers involved and how it can mess with your head , lead to schizophrenia etc. I have read up on it. He is not allowed to smoke it near the house and I certainly don't agree with him doing it.

I read his statement because it was left in the bathroom. It was the fact he was overdrawn by nearly £500 that made me look at it in detail! :eek:

I also believe as his Mum I do have the right to know what he is up to, the world would be a better place if parents looked out for their children more.

...................waiting to get slated now:o

Thanks again for all your replies, when general spending habits are written down, I can see where his money might be going. I kind of imagined that weed would cost about £10 :cool: obviously not

January20

chocomonsta wrote: »

I hate the fact that he smokes weed and I know the dangers involved and how it can mess with your head , lead to schizophrenia etc. I have read up on it. He is not allowed to smoke it near the house and I certainly don't agree with him doing it.

I read his statement because it was left in the bathroom. It was the fact he was overdrawn by nearly £500 that made me look at it in detail! :eek:

I also believe as his Mum I do have the right to know what he is up to, the world would be a better place if parents looked out for their children more.

...................waiting to get slated now:o

Thanks again for all your replies, when general spending habits are written down, I can see where his money might be going. I kind of imagined that weed would cost about £10 :cool: obviously not

Not slating you but... he is 18 years old so he is an adult, he can do whatever he pleases and you have no more rights than if he was your lodger.

markelock

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Well she seems happy enough for him to live under her roof and smoke weed though. Thats a drug! so she allows that but wouldn't allow anything else??

I can see where you're coming from.

Geenie

chocomonsta wrote: »

I hate the fact that he smokes weed and I know the dangers involved and how it can mess with your head , lead to schizophrenia etc. I have read up on it. He is not allowed to smoke it near the house and I certainly don't agree with him doing it.

I read his statement because it was left in the bathroom. It was the fact he was overdrawn by nearly £500 that made me look at it in detail! :eek:

I also believe as his Mum I do have the right to know what he is up to, the world would be a better place if parents looked out for their children more.

...................waiting to get slated now:o

Thanks again for all your replies, when general spending habits are written down, I can see where his money might be going. I kind of imagined that weed would cost about £10 :cool: obviously not

You will not get slated by me! I see only a concerned mum. Especially because you now say he is £500 overdrawn!

He only pays £200 out of £1000 a month income for his total keep! And you say he doesn't go out much or drive etc! That is a lot of money going up in smoke, yet alone having an overdraft of £500! I think you have just cause to pry and find out where that money is going.

Pssst

First of all your lad has a perception problem if he says "everyone" smokes weed. Either that or he was trivialising it and fobbing you off. not everyone smokes weed. In fact most people dont including myself. It saddens me the way young people have been influenced to become vacant pot heads,unable to think for themselves.

Of course if "everyone" smokes weed then maybe "everyone" also has a sniff of coke now and again?

Hes probably !!!!ing most of his money away in the pub. "Everyone" does that also,i.e get leathered every weekend. I must lead a very boring life.

I doubt he has a drug problem. The biggest danger I perceive is that he is becoming a sheep,an individual without independant thought. The need to fit in is too much for some to resist.

Should you be reaing his bank statement?

You also need to increase his rent/keep money. If you feel bad about it,save the increase in an account. That way perhaps he wont waste as much money on dope and booze.

God only knows why any intelligent girl would bother with a pot head.

naturally_2

astonsmummy wrote: »

I never said it wasn't harmful, but come on compared to our legal 'friend' alcohol it's pretty damn safe.

I don't agree with you there. Even smoking very small amounts of weed has been found to be associated with mental problems later on in life. Drinking up to your recomended allowance of alcohol units a week isn't.

On the other hand, research so far has tended to indicate that those who binge drink at weekends between 18-21 and ease off after that show no greater incidence of ill effects.

I would be concerned about his drinking if it was to that extent most evenings, but I don't get the impression it is.

hollydays

That assumption that weed isn't too harmful is one that nearly destroyed someone close to me .

I would ask him how much he spends on weed a week and watch his reaction-can you tell if he is lying?
Cocaine is also used because it allows people to drink a lot more than they normally could.
agreed though, he may just be a spendthrift.

hollydays

chocomonsta wrote: »

I have asked him and he says no he is not taking them. He does not go clubbing vey often - maybe once every couple of months, he does like going to the pub where I know he binges till he is quite drunk, but again only once or twice a week if that. He has a girlfriend but he does not seem to go out anywhere with her, mainly 'chilling' at hers or his. He does not buy clothes and he cannot explain what he does spend it on.

Some times his pupils look a bit small, but he says it is the weed?

I have threatened to throw him out if I find out he is taking drugs. Also, I have heard from someone that he was at a party and he was doing a lot of smoking....but she would not explain further as she did not want to get him into trouble. I do not know about drugs, I have looked on the Frank website but it did not make things any clearer.

This is the quote though that interests me,could they be saying that he was smoking weed using one of those devices that makes the weed more concentrated (like a plastic bottle,,i think its called a lung).of course you can smoke many drugs,not just weed.

if there was nothing going on,why would this person be trying to warn you?

just trust your instincts..

Savvy_Sue

January20 wrote: »

Not slating you but... he is 18 years old so he is an adult, he can do whatever he pleases and you have no more rights than if he was your lodger.

If I had a lodger smoking weed, I'm not sure how much longer they'd be staying.

If I had a son smoking weed, I'd want to be d*mn sure he not only didn't smoke anywhere near the house, but never brought the stuff anywhere near the house either.

Too many people think it's no longer an illegal drug. They're wrong. It's not coming into my house, even in small quantities. At least, not in any greater quantities than you can pick up on your clothes in the general environment.

Geenie

Pssst wrote: »

First of all your lad has a perception problem if he says "everyone" smokes weed. Either that or he was trivialising it and fobbing you off. not everyone smokes weed. In fact most people dont including myself. It saddens me the way young people have been influenced to become vacant pot heads,unable to think for themselves.

Of course if "everyone" smokes weed then maybe "everyone" also has a sniff of cocke now and again?

Hes probably !!!!ing most of his money away in the pub. "Everyone" does that also,i.e get leathered every weekend. I must lead a very boring life.

I doubt he has a drug problem. The biggest danger I perceive is that he is becoming a sheep,an individual without independant thought. The need to fit in is too much for some to resist.

Should you be reaing his bank statement?

You also need to increase his rent/keep money. If you feel bad about it,save the increase in an account. That way perhaps he wont waste as much money on dope and booze.

God only knows why any intelligent girl would bother with a pot head.

You make some valid points Pssst, but I feel the OP already realises this and needs support. I have an 18 and 20 year old who have always thought smoking weed was the height of bad taste, mainly because they saw the results on those around who did so from an early age and were not impressed! We did the parental thing of drumming into them about drugs form an early age, but peer pressure is what makes a difference I think!


They happened to connect with people from an early age who felt the same and didn't think it was cool....thank goodness! But nothing is a cert, and luck plays a part in who our children befriend and the pressure they extend.

As to your rent increase.....my mother actually did this same thing when I was an 18 year old....not on drugs, but spending recklessly! She increased my board costs, but was secretly stashing the money away in a savings account. Some years later when I had grown up, she provided me with a Nationwide account holding enough money to buy my first car, a Mini!

Though I thought her mean at the time, I realised eventually that she did me the biggest favour ever, and taught a lesson I have never forgotten.