Son taking drugs - How would I know?

Savvy_Sue

If you are concerned that it might be drugs, you might find Fam-Anon useful.

And if it is, I've recently been pointed to another potentially useful site for both users and those affected by it: The Recovery Network.

there again, if it's gambling, then Gam-Anon is the support group for those affected by gambling.

And I think we all know where he should be if it's just an inability to know where his money goes.

alexm08

Wow parents are so strict these days!

My parents are like 59 & 61 now, i'm 21 and they'd never go through my bank statements!

Inkedkitten

Hang on a sec....am I missing something, you say you disapprove of his weed smoking and you would throw him out if he was doing drugs. Weed is a drug, and it screws people up, an ex of mine developed schizophrenia from smoking the drug for 3 years....and trust me I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. And to be honest you can get coke cheap these days so he might not even have to be spending loads of dosh to be getting it.

Point is, don't point the finger till you're totally sure, discuss it with him, let him know where you are if he needs you, but to be honest he's gonna live his life the way he wants to, whether or not it involves taking drugs or just spending his money on other things! Hopefully he's spending it on other things!

Emmenelle

I'm sure he's just being a typical 18 year old bloke and using all his money on nothing. My DH is 31 now and he still has this issue - I'm sure that's what it is.

On the 'coke' front - does he have trouble sleeping? Does he ever seem excessively chatty and over -enthusiastic? Is there any 'face twitching'? I know it can make your front teeth numb, so people tend to kind of chew their lips. Coke is not that expensive anymore -I believe most people can 'do' a gram quite comfortably and you can get this for around £50.

I do hope he's just being a typical non-MSE teen, but us Mums are allowed to worry ! x

aurora_borealis_2

I'd worry about the weed more than anything else. It's not like it was years ago, it's highly potent and as inkedkitten mentioned, strongly implicated in severe mental heath problems.

Read this

Geenie

Inkedkitten wrote: »

Hang on a sec....am I missing something, you say you disapprove of his weed smoking and you would throw him out if he was doing drugs. Weed is a drug, and it screws people up, an ex of mine developed schizophrenia from smoking the drug for 3 years....and trust me I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. And to be honest you can get coke cheap these days so he might not even have to be spending loads of dosh to be getting it.

Point is, don't point the finger till you're totally sure, discuss it with him, let him know where you are if he needs you, but to be honest he's gonna live his life the way he wants to, whether or not it involves taking drugs or just spending his money on other things! Hopefully he's spending it on other things!

Have to agree with this and other post about weed! It is not a harmless bit of recreational fun like in the hippy, happy 60's! It is different and more dangerous stuff now, often leading on to other drug use. I have also witnessed young people who have developed permanent mental health problems from just a few years of smoking this horrible stuff. Please read up on it.

As for looking at your sons bank statement, I think there would be many parents who would do the same and be concerned if they saw it in front of them....I would. Just because a person is 18 years old, doesn't mean as a parent we stop wanting to know our child is OK and not in any difficulty!

We read all too often of problems being ignored until something dreadful happens! "Where were the family, why didn't they see the signs?". I'd rather be a nosey parent now, then regret later not doing something when I first suspected there could be a problem. You are doing the right thing in my book querying what he is doing with his money.

lisaloo1977

Can i just say, maybe reading his bank statement was wrong but if he did not want it to happen he should not have left it lying around.

I do not think a mother is a bad person because she cares or asks questions or takes an interest in her childs life. I think this is doubled by the fact that they are still living in the family home, even if they are paying to do so.

Maybe if more parents questioned what their children were doing, some of the youth of today would not be doing what they are doing behind their parents back.

Lets hope it turns out that he withdraw the money to by his mum a fantastic christmas present.

markelock

Amy83 wrote: »

I'd try not to worry too much, obviously easier said than done. He's probably just frittering it away - I used to be an expert in that, earning £250pw, having no bills or rent to pay but still managed to be skint by the middle of the week. Does he drive? I used to easily spend £5-10 on junk that I didn't need from the petrol station whenever I put fuel in. Just little things like that, they soon add up but you've got no idea where it's gone!

Oh, and the hair testing suggestion - that's about the quickest way to fall out with and alienate your son.

only if you tell him.

markelock

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I'm sorry and I know your just concerned about him but its non of your business what he spends his own money on aslong as you get yours every month.

Steph xx

if he's taking drugs (and he is) then it's absolutely the OP's business. Both because it's her house, and because it's her son.

if he decides to spend it on fruit pastilles, then fair enough that's up to him.

but not (illegal) drugs.

RobertoMoir

Sounds to me like a normal 18 year old. I appreciate that the idea of him taking drugs is distressing, and I'd be concerned about the weed myself ("everyone does it" my !!!) but in the absence of symptoms of other abuse I really wouldn't worry too much.