Is it too late?

debtmustgo

Hello,
I feel confident asking this question on this site because we all remain anonymous.
I am now 39, i will be 40 next year, have never had children but for the last couple of months i have been feeling extremely broody.. to the point where i can become quite tearful and emotional..
I have been with my OH for 7 years, i don't think we're suited, we don't talk about the future and i feel life is passing me by..
I feel like i'm this position due to financial circumstances (i feel ashamed to say) it's all a bit hum drum and not going anywhere although we're the best of friends and enjoy each others company alot..
I really desire children, but for me to break it off, meet someone else, get to know them, have kids then who knows how old i'll be..
Is/has anyone been in a similar situation?

x

galvanizersbaby

debtmustgo wrote: »

Hello,
I feel confident asking this question on this site because we all remain anonymous.
I am now 39, i will be 40 next year, have never had children but for the last couple of months i have been feeling extremely broody.. to the point where i can become quite tearful and emotional..
I have been with my OH for 7 years, i don't think we're suited, we don't talk about the future and i feel life is passing me by..
I feel like i'm this position due to financial circumstances (i feel ashamed to say) it's all a bit hum drum and not going anywhere although we're the best of friends and enjoy each others company alot..
I really desire children, but for me to break it off, meet someone else, get to know them, have kids then who knows how old i'll be..
Is/has anyone been in a similar situation?


x

Hi Debtmustgo

With most things I would say it's never too late but women's biological clocks dont agree :mad:
I think that if your that unhappy with your current partner then you should concentrate on doing something about that x
Is having children something the 2 of you have ever discussed?
I've been in your situ in that I've been unhappy in a marriage but I already had the children so I didn't have your issue.

My advice to you is that you deserve to be happy and if your really not happy in your current relationship you must resolve this first and then who knows what the future will hold x

Just re read that and realise I'm not much help - hopefully somebody will be along with better advice for you soon x

foreversomeday

Is there an upper age limit on adoption?

debtmustgo

I don't want to adopt

oystercatcher

After about the age of forty womens fertility drops rapidly. So although it's still possible to concieve it can take much longer and may never happen.
Many women of your age can and do concieve easily but many don't . You won't know which category you come into until you try .........

As previous poster said I think the relationship is a priority but it's a hard decision. Those hormones can really really disturb you once the clock starts ticking and you feel broody.

Oystercatcher

kaysmith87

I watched a telivision programme the other week similar to the dawn porter ones. This one was about fertility and children. The presenter had a test done which told her how many viable eggs she had and her chances of conceiving etc. I'm not sure if this would help you at all. Sounds like a costly test.

milliebear00001

Have you thought about having a child by yourself? What do you think about this option? You are right to think practically about the time constraints. You need to weigh up how you feel about lone parenting as opposed to the possibility of never having children.

3under3

I agree with milliebear, while you may not have left it too late time is definitely not on your side, you have the rest of your life to find another partner if that's what you want but maybe only a year or two to have a child.

mrs_drudge

You say "although we're the best of friends and enjoy each others company alot.."
- what better basis for relationship than being the best of friends and enjoying each others company? Life can be humdrum -but that isn't all bad - remember the Chinese curse 'may you live in interesting times'?
Before walking away from this relationship, try and put some more into it - not necessarily planning the future, but enjoying the present.
Does he think you are suited? Or is he typical male who happily accepts things as they are without wanting to discuss everything to the nth degree?
A baby will test any relationship - but one based on friendship and good company has a lot more chance of surviving than one based on passion and high living!

debtmustgo

Thanks for your responses. All of our friends now have children, most are married and settled and i just feel i'm plodding along..
He seems happy but it frustrates me as the truth is i really don't know his REAL thoughts.. He keeps things to himself, our main topic of conversation is his job. We also talk about money alot, we both have debt, but will be debt free in a few years..
Between us we bring home about £3500K a month, from that we owe £1300 a month on debt, it's so depressing..
I can't imagine, having a baby on my own, but the thought of never having kids is tearing me apart..
I have thought many times (can i make this work, could i marry him?) but i feel he gives me nothing other than security and companionship..
In the 7 years, he has cooked twice, i come home from work and the place is a mess (we fall out about it alot) but he never changes.. If we had a child i would have 2 to tend to.. anyway i'm rambling..
I need to think things through,,,,but then on the other hand you hear alot about women having babies in their forties and do great!
I dunno
x

hulagirl79

Hi debtmustgo
I just wanted to add my thoughts.
I have been a nanny for a very long time and most of my bosses have been over 40 when they have had their children, so belive me it is possible.

I think you need to talk to him and see if it is something he has been thinking about too [you never know he might suprise you]
In my opionion security and companionship is a very solid basis after 7 years and i would hate to forever think what if.

good luck