ripped off by a friend

chickpea

Thanks for all the advice - I know the majority view is to say something to her - but I've decided to wimp it out!!

I felt really upset earlier, and couldn't stop crying - but I've got over it now. I think she's genuinely nice and wouldn't have meant to have left me feeling ripped off. I really don't want to risk losing their friendship, and I know how ackwardness can stick around.

I talked to my husband earlier, and he said she had mentioned to him some 'other stuff' she'd pass on later, so maybe I'm being too harsh anyway.

In the meantime, I've given the pram a good scrubbing with Vanish and some of the stains I thought were permanent have come out, as have some of the tiny little splashes of what looks like tippex or paint.

I may end up buying a new pram anyway, but I'll get my husband to help me play around with this one first - it's kind of complicated and I can't get it set up properly just now, but maybe I'll grow to like it.

And I'll get the other stuff I need in the January sales!

wannabe_sybil

I got a very nice pushchair (very plain and uncomplicated) brand new, rain hood, basket underneath, suitable from birth from under £30 from ebay. It is worth checking out what is on there. I found that the mixed bundle of baby clothes was a wonderful thing to click on.

Congratulations on the little one.

mum2g1b

Hi there I am new to MSE Forums but having read your posts just wanted to suggest the NCT Nearly New Sales for great baby gear at great prices. In my experience the items are really good condition and very reasonable and you can get everything from clothes to sterilisers and pushchairs etc! I got a really fab Avent steam steriliser for £7 and it lasted 3 kids (one of mine and 2 of my sisters!!) and it looked like new when I got it! Sales vary from area to area - mine are March and Sept- and you don't have to be a member to by stuff at the sale!

Good luck with your pregnancy!

SandC

You probably don't need the hassle so I understand why you've let it be.

But if it were me with a friend of 10 years the offer for payment would have been flatly refused - she should have done likewise, as she offered in the first place!!!! Honestly, some people. Although I will give her that she probably, like many people, thinks that second hand goods are worth more than they really are.

chickpea

Thanks for the NCT advice - as it happens though, the last nearly new sale near us was last Saturday - and ironically, we couldn't go because we had house guests, for lunch and dinner (including the friends I bought the pram from!)

Carmina_Piranha_3

I would cancel the cheque (but do they still charge £10 for that?) and pretend to her that it had bounced because you don't have enough money. Give the pram back to her, and tell her that you can't afford £100 for a pram, so you'll find something cheaper.

You can buy new prams for under a hundred anyway.

You don't mention the make of this pram she's sold you, some people spend more than £500 on their prams though so perhaps she really does think it's worth a hundred.

skintchick

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

I would cancel the cheque (but do they still charge £10 for that?) and pretend to her that it had bounced because you don't have enough money. Give the pram back to her, and tell her that you can't afford £100 for a pram, so you'll find something cheaper.

You can buy new prams for under a hundred anyway.

You don't mention the make of this pram she's sold you, some people spend more than £500 on their prams though so perhaps she really does think it's worth a hundred.

Genius idea. Tell the bank you've lost it so they won;t charge you for cancelling it, and it's a fab idea to say it has bounced.

I really don;t think you should pay £100 for a dirty old pram.

Nicki

skintchick wrote: »

Genius idea. Tell the bank you've lost it so they won;t charge you for cancelling it, and it's a fab idea to say it has bounced.

But when she tries to present it, she will probably be investigated on suspicion of fraud and/or theft if the chq has been reported stolen, which would definitely be embarrassing for OP.

If she is quite a good friend, I'd be a bit inclined to throw yourself on her mercy, and say something along the lines that having waited 3 years for your baby and having thought about it, you'd really rather prefer a new pram for baby, that its probably your hormones, but you know they recommend new mattresses for SIDs reasons and you want to play absolutely safe (not that there is a risk using secondhand pram AFAIK, but this is a face saving excuse for OP before I get flamed!). Say you need the £100 back to put towards a new one, but you've cleaned the old one up, and are sure she'd be able to ebay it with no problems, but you're so close to baby coming you don't have time to do it. If she's really a good friend this shouldn't offend her, and when the baby comes you might be glad of all the support you can get so it doesn't make sense to fall out with her by being underhand and stopping cheques without telling her (for which she'll be charged as well as you won't she??)

Good luck with the birth. I suspect this wasn't an attempt to rip you off deliberately, but just an unfortunate misunderstanding, and you'd regret it if you lost a friendship for good because of it.

skintchick

No she just needs to say she thought it was lost. I don;t think the bank would be difficult.

chickpea

Thanks everyone for the suggestions, really!

When I still felt upset/angry earlier on, I contemplated calling her up - but now I've calmed down, I'm glad I didn't!

I want her friendship, and I'm not going to risk it by rocking the boat! I think friends you make as adults will never be 'real' friends to the same extent that childhood friends might be, but to be honest, I don't have that many friends, 'real' or otherwise, that I'd be willing to lose one!

The pram does look better cleaned up. It has a bassinet that goes on the frame (just need to work out how it goes on), as well as a separate bassinet frame, and the pushchair has a reversible position (I think..) and those are things that matter to me. It's over 6 years old, so I can't find the exact same one online, but based on a quick Google, I'd say the pram itself wasn't that expensive - but there are accessories with it, like a sunshade, buggy board and footmuff.

So I'm going to see if I can live with it, and have a look around on Ebay and freecycle for other stuff. (Except for the nursery furniture - I'm going to splash out a little there..!)

Thanks again for all the views!