It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

Toomuchdebt

I am so angry I could just scream!!!Ok so OH borrowed money from the rent(housing benefit)-his share of the rent is £390 plus he borrowed £360-added together makes £750.Plus the council tax is £81 this month.I pay ALL the bills so he pays his share of the rent and council tax.Alltogether that makes £831 right?So how much did he give me back today(payday)?£700!!!So now I have to find £131 to cover the rest.I am sooooo angry.What with the bills that come out next week and petrol(I am down to the red) I will be left with £31 for food.For 7 of us.Wonderful.He claims he can't give me any more as he has to pay the rest of his car off £200, plus £75 for his stupid payday loan(and that's just to defer it -he owes £300 on that) plus he needs petrol for work, car insurance, phone bill.OK so why borrow more than you can pay back when he KNOWS it then leaves me short.He's not getting a penny off me this month!!!

BitterAndTwisted

Sorry but I'd cut his hands off for borrowing from the rent money. I'd also put him on tea and toast rations for the whole of next month

lilac_lady

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Sorry but I'd cut his hands off for borrowing from the rent money. I'd also put him on tea and toast rations for the whole of next month

I wouldn't let him have a teabag and I wouldn't let him use the electricity to turn the bread into toast. Bread and water is good enough for him this month!


Just what I was saying on a previous post - it's hard to budget when your OH doesn't.

kidcat

Toomuchdebt - sounds like you need to keep your rent money away from where he can borrow it. Cound you not pay your HB straight off your rent when it arrives? I know I pay my rent almost two weeks early to fit in wth payday rather than waiting till it falls due. LL was fine with it as it means they get the extra interest and knows its paid up front.

kidcat

lilac_lady wrote: »

I wouldn't let him have a teabag and I wouldn't let him use the electricity to turn the bread into toast. Bread and water is good enough for him this month!


Just what I was saying on a previous post - it's hard to budget when your OH doesn't.

Thats why we ended up with my OH wages being paid into my account, its the only way I know that everything will be paid. Downside is that he really has no idea of our bills or where the money goes - even when I try to show him/tell him - he really doesnt want to know. Means that all the juggling I do goes completely unnoticed and when I manage to make a saving that I am really proud of theres noone to notice:)

Toomuchdebt

kidcat wrote: »

Toomuchdebt - sounds like you need to keep your rent money away from where he can borrow it. Cound you not pay your HB straight off your rent when it arrives? I know I pay my rent almost two weeks early to fit in wth payday rather than waiting till it falls due. LL was fine with it as it means they get the extra interest and knows its paid up front.

Unfortunately not-the rent goes out by standing order on the 14th every month but the Hb gets paid 4 weekly so at different times so I have to hang onto it till the 14th every month.Sigh.He's not getting a penny this month.

anguk

kidcat wrote: »

Thats why we ended up with my OH wages being paid into my account, its the only way I know that everything will be paid. Downside is that he really has no idea of our bills or where the money goes - even when I try to show him/tell him - he really doesnt want to know. Means that all the juggling I do goes completely unnoticed and when I manage to make a saving that I am really proud of theres noone to notice:)

I deal with all the money in our house, if it was left to OH we'd have cupboards bursting with nice food and the car would be filled to the brim with petrol but no bills would be paid. :mad:

I don't mind dealing with it all because then I know it's done (and I'm a little bit of a control freak ) but it does annoy me when I say to him that we're a bit short so we've only got xx amount to last us until payday and his response is "how come, where's all the money gone?". I'll try to show him but like your OH he doesn't really want to know. Every now and then if he's really moaning about a lack of money I'll tell him to do the finances from now on, that soon shuts him up!

As lilac_lady says it's hard to budget when your OH doesn't, or won't. It's funny it's normally women who are portrayed as spendthrifts, always buying shoes & clothes etc but in my experience it always seems to be women who are fighting to keep their families afloat and men who are terrible with money.

Rummer

Toomuchdebt so sorry to hear about your tricky situation. It is so frustrating when your OH just doesn't get it!

charlies-aunt

lilac_lady wrote: »

Just what I was saying on a previous post - it's hard to budget when your OH doesn't.

Come on now ladies...be truthful...in this situation - its not hard to budget ...Its freaking impossible.

I was the same sort of situation with my Ex - he spend his wages on gambling, nights out with the lads, clothes, cigarttes while I was scrimping and scraping to make ends meet. I left when I discovered that he had secretly taken out £6000 in HP Loans by forging my signature. No prizes for guessing who paid that back.

The life priorities are shelter, food and warmth - so payng the rent, buying grub and paying the utility bills - the phone companies and catalogues wll send nasty letters but the landlord can take the roof from over your head.

Does your OH know what stress he is putting you under by forcing you to manage on such a pittance? We are all fairly skilled at penny pinching to the max but you are trying to do the impossible.

You are a good person and you truly deserve to be treated better than this. Stop make excuses for him - tell him to stop being so selfish & tell him to get his act together ...or else

Apologies if this seems strong but sometimes the truth has to be told and it has been done with the best of intentions

Toomuchdebt

I have already told him that I would like him to move out but he never has any money to do so and no family or friends either.