It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

smileyt_2

Toomuchdebt - I have pm'd you.

Toomuchdebt

taplady no not posted on there as it's not really a debt that is the problem-just a temporary lack of money which has just come at a very bad time.

smileyt-thank you-have read and answered.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Toomuchdebt, your situation sounds really grim love, and I know the folks here are really helpful, and really I hope their input helps. While you`re taking advice here, and trying to sort things out, but I have to ask, are you REALLY talking to your partner about this stuff too? I see that there`s a lot of despair and negativity in your view of this relationship, and from what you`ve posted, I`m thinking if you were my daughter I`d be telling you to kick him out asap! (Though I`ve had a lot of sympathy for a couple of my daughters` ex`s!)
Does your partner know how desperate things are? Talk to HIM, as well as us here, and stay calm when you do this.

sammy_kaye18

Toomuchdebt - oh things sound horrid there hun. Do hope your ok and that the companies are good to you when you ring them.

I do think you need to talk to your partner - as communication is the best thing for it - even if it is an argument at least boundaries can be set and outlined and it sometimes takes that to get your side across ive found.

sandraroffey

unfortunately its when situations get to this stage, and you really do have to have this out with your partner, that you find out just how interested he really is in the family . he appears to already be leaving you to shoulder this on your own which is very unfair.

tell him, no money, no food. the kids come first. and you following a very close second!!!!

go and talk to the income support people and also to social services. they may be able to pull something out of the bag.

and you appear to be the strong one here, keep smiling and dont be afraid of anything if it ends up that you are on your own. you say you arent sure that you love him - if you loved him you would know.

i was married to a man for 37 years who drank, spent everything on him and his sword and gun collection. me and five kids never had anything because he had it all. after we divorced i had never been so well off. and oh the wonderful feeling of waking up in the morning and not having to worry about who had said something he didnt like the night before, becuase he would take it out on us. should have done it years ago. i always thought that i wouldnt have been able to manage on my own - then it occured to me that i had been managing on my own for the entire marriage.

[Deleted User]

Hi ya Honey you sound so desperate and to be honest i think you know deep down what you have to do.give him his marching orders, o.k. you may be sad and upset, but you cannot keep on going as things are its definitely a case of 'shape up or ship out.You won't be any worse off that's for sure
Say to yourself this is the last time I am going to be a doormat for anyone If he loves you he would do more to help out the situation but he is just using you love.Think of what its doing to your kids and most of all yourself.

Toomuchdebt

Thank you all.Not really got anything to say but didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.

jamanda

Nothing to say either, but thinking about you.

J

lilac_lady

Keep posting here - at least you know that we're sympathetic and are always just a click away.

Rummer

Today was such a beautiful day, the sunshine always helps to lift my mood and I hope those of you that are having a difficult time found a bit of comfort in the sun.

I spent the day doing further work in the garden getting areas ready for planting out later on and then we invited a few friends round for a BBQ which was lovely, everyone brought food and drink and we talked and laughed for hours it was just what I needed.