It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

rosieben

Pitlanepiglet, I've been through that same situation as your ds a few years ago. I made the decision to leave because I couldnt bear to see him kill himself slowly with drink, and that's apart from the issues within the relationship that alcoholism causes.

Your ds had made a brave decision, and I'm sure she knows that she'll have your support, sometimes all she'll need is someone to listen.

and mummysaver, I'm so sorry to hear about your dh's redundancy. you sound wonderfully positive and you're so right about what makes christmas memorable, my kids remember the smallest, silliest things

Hardup_Hester

Hi Pitlanepiglet
I believe my BIL is an alcoholic too, we have finally taken the very hard decision not to help him anymore, I feel that by helping him, we are helping him drink, so I have put my foot down & it has made me very unpopular. I'm sure you will find the strength to help your sister.
Hester

Caterina

Ohh I thought I was the only one who fancies Philip Glenister, nothing like a bit of rough! says me, the same one who also fancies Peter from the Victorian Farm!

It would seem that I have competition in this thread LOL

BigMummaF

I know you are very sensible PLP but I wanted to add that when my marriage fell apart, a fairly hefty lump of me wanted everyone to hate him as much as I did. Then there was the bit that still held a corner of my heart for being the man I fell in love with & his part in producing my wonderful children. In truth tho, I just needed someone to be my sounding board, to listen to my irreverent drivel & hug me when I was finished.
It's oh so tempting to wade in with the 'never did understand what you saw in him/her' & 'knew there was something I didn't like' sort of comments in an act of moral support but--if most are honest--it isn't really what the person involved wants to hear. It may be your sister feels at the end of her tether now but could see things a little differently in a while & if that should happen, she'll not appreciate your vitriol on top of everything else Hugs to you both & sincere hopes for a peaceful Christmas for all involved.x
I hope I haven't spoken out of line & it's not exclusively directed to Pit but I felt I had to say something as I see it all too often People mean well enough but don't know what to say or do to help, then when the couple decide to have another go at making it work, all of those negative comments come back to haunt...

rosekitten

Mardatha YAAAAY ! I do love a good revolt ! UP THE PEASANTS !!:beer:
And it's time we learned that ads are mainly designed to rob you of your hard earned money - I'd like to think most women have a brain of their own and can use it!
I just spent a lovely 2 hours in the kitchen and discovered a hidden unknown talent.... I CAN MAKE FABULOUS SWEETIES! WHOOHOO! :T Inspired by the Victorian Farm xmas





and I discovered I can make mince pies
better than in the shops and a lot cheaper too
all thanks to one of the threads on here.

Hardup_Hester

Caterina, I'm with you there, I often refer to hubby as my 'bit of rough' & he used to introduce me as his 'Posh Bird'.
Very sensible advice BMF, a friend of mine has spent 7 years divorcing her hubby, and apart form a few 'thats men for you comments' I confined most of my comments to 'oh dear' 'mmm' & a lot of nodding, I'm one of the few friends she hasn't fallen out with during the rollercoaster she's been through.
Hester

mardatha

Caterina - is Peter the older darker one on the Vic Farm ? :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: hmm?

Hardup_Hester

That's him, the fairer one is Alex

Reverbe

mardatha wrote: »

Caterina - is Peter the older darker one on the Vic Farm ? :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: hmm?

If he's the larger one he always reminds my flatmate of Oliver Reed :rotfl:

I always find myself wondering why one of them is dressed peasant style and the other has a suit.. are they meant to be like boss and servant or can they just not find an authentic suit large enough?

ginnyknit

I quite liked the blonde hairy biker meself till I saw him in his undies, hmm I do like big men but he definately looks better in leathers

PLP, I do hope your Ds gets things sorted, divorce is very traumatic but the releif when you start a new life can be amazing, alcoholism is a disease and yes some people beat it but they have to want to.

Heartily approve of the Christmas number one RATM, now thats people power!

I hope all on here who are having troubles get a respite over Christmas and get to enjoy their hard work, sending hugs from a chilly Manchester. Then onto a New MSE year of revolting peasants.