It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

jamanda

Don't be sorry - it was a nice cry not an upset cry. I'm a bit low too at the moment. When things are a bit rough, it's nice to know that other people have the same priorities and values. It was a "isn't she nice" cry.

rosekitten

Rummer so sorry to hear your news we have
been in the same boat in the past ourselves.

Do know about selling to raise funds on ebay
had to do the same myself in the past,if you
happen to have anything nice from Next,Gap etc
save it and list in the run up to Easter you can really
max out on what you get for them far more than selling
straight after christmas when all the sales are on.
Christmas decs in June/July,

I hope that things really look up for you in the new year

Pitlanepiglet

Big hugs to everyone who needs them :grouphug:.

I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who supported me and gave me some really good "anti bullying" advice a little while ago. I decided that I was allowing my colleagues to bully me and I needed to change my behaviour. As suggested, I started talking very matter of factly about the fact that I considered that X, Y and Z were bullying me. I also started to become my more usual assertive self and to stand up for myself a bit more whereas I'd got into the habit of being more compliant to try to stay under the radar.

I guess it probably got back to those involved, none of them said anything but they are being a lot nicer these days. One of my colleagues quit fairly dramatically a week ago and she apparently has said that she was bullied and forced out, so it seems that I was not alone.

Anyway, I'm rambling...too tired! Thanks all, your help and support made a huge difference to me and I'm very grateful to you all xxx

jexygirl

Big hugs Rummer - things can only get better right
Jamanda and Charlies aunt - you personify christmas for me - sod the bull and the adverts that commercialise things and are designed to make us think that we are poor - should be spending money - should be surrounded with family / lots of presents / too much food. No im not being bah humbug, im being realistic and its about thought, doing what we can, within our means, and making the best of what we have. Sometimes the fact that its christmas is the thing that makes people get down - we have to live up to what others are doing (the sister bought a better present, the MIL spent a fortune) does it mean more? hell no!
We may not have much, but we sure as hell know how to make the best of what we have, through the support here, and the people we are.
Hugs all round and may we all have the best that we are able to
Jex

ginnyknit

What really amazes me on here is that some of us are 'upto our arm pits in alligators' and the others all understand how easy it is to get there. No one here has ever asked if Im just an idiot who ran up debts or basically just lousy with money. But thats the whole point isn't it, its digging ourselves out one success at a time. Whether its growing a pot of herbs on the window ledge or building a new kitchen from other peoples junk. I really do look forward to hearing from my MSE friends everyday. Right Im freezing sat here so Im off to mop the kitchen while Dh is resting - 3 hours sleep last night, didnt he do well - thats sarcasm by the way - the doc gave him new meds yesterday after I said he doesn't sleep, side effect of meds 'insomnia' Ah well keep fighting those alligators guys!

mardatha

And the doc will give him another pill for the side effects of the first pill, and the other pill will have different side effect, and the doc will give him another pill, etc forever . Tell him to try Valerian and a glass of brandy !

charlies-aunt

jexygirl wrote: »

Big hugs Rummer - things can only get better right
We may not have much, but we sure as hell know how to make the best of what we have, through the support here, and the people we are.
Hugs all round and may we all have the best that we are able to
Jex

Brilliant post Jexygirl - you hit the nail squarely on the head re commercialisation of Christmas ... or should that be CON-mercialisation??

No one here has ever asked if Im just an idiot who ran up debts or basically just lousy with money. But thats the whole point isn't it, its digging ourselves out one success at a time.

Ginnyknit - I totally agree - I have thought for a long time that schools should include lessons in managing money, home budgeting etc in Maths lessons. Would be more useful than learning trigonometry or being able to calculate the cubic capacity of a sphere. Despite a 'good' education I am ashamed to say that a combination of ignorance, poor judgement and bad decisions in personal finances have lead us to where we are today...we are old dogs being taught new tricks now - thanks to the help, hope, advice and support from fellow MSE-ers.

:T :T :T

Beccatje

Things are tough now...

I quit my job last feb. due to childcare disaster to stay home with my kids. I started childminding to still earn a bit of income and it's taken a few months to get a good foothold in that. We've taken a drop in income in other area's as well, as my two oldest children have moved to live with their dad so he's no longer paying child support either. (and that was very generous believe me..)

So in those few months where I had no income (or very little) things began to fall apart. Savings did help a little bit but in the end we ended up with some unpaid bills.. 3 months behind on the mortgage, a month on the health insurance and a huge dentist bill I couldn't afford to pay. I even stopped answering the phone for fear of having to speak to the dentist again and try and explain to them why I hadn't paid yet..

DH's paycheck this month is a godsent.... A christmas bonus, and all the overtime paid out for all the saturdays he's worked over the past year.

DH told me about it with a gleam in his eye.... but unfortunately I had to stop him from getting excited.. (He was already making plans on what new RC model car to buy!) I told him the money was already spent! Then filled him in on the overdue bills. He knew.. but always seems to forget...

Anyway... the money came in today and the first thing I did was pay the dentist. That is SUCH a relief!!! A few other overdue bills got paid as well and I'm feeling slightly better now. I had not counted on this extra bonus and was litterally lying awake at night worrying about how I was going to pay it all.

I spoke to the bank and they agreed on a payment plan to catch up on the mortgage debt... also a relief, but it does mean another 3 months of even less money left over to live on.

We need to cut our costs... and we need to wise up. Somehow I keep thinking that the 'little things' don't make much difference but all of them added up must do. I've got this nagging little gut feeling that things are going to get worse before they'll get better....

Beccatje

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Ginnyknit - I totally agree - I have thought for a long time that schools should include lessons in managing money, home budgeting etc in Maths lessons. Would be more useful than learning trigonometry or being able to calculate the cubic capacity of a sphere. Despite a 'good' education I am ashamed to say that a combination of ignorance, poor judgement and bad decisions in personal finances have lead us to where we are today...we are old dogs being taught new tricks now - thanks to the help, hope, advice and support from fellow MSE-ers.

:T :T :T

Yes I agree.
I would have benefitted greatly from learning how to manage money. And how to act on a problem straight away. Because ignoring things/ letting things getting out of hand just because I don't know how to handle it or who to call and being afraid to ask has cost me greatly in the past...

ginnyknit

All we can do is try and educate our children to ignore all those advert for easy money and hope and pray they follow our new found wisdom - which has cost a lot of us a great deal. From the moment you find MSE it seems to fill you with an enthusiasm to win little victories, and when you are down you come back here and revitalise your resolve - well I do:)