It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

kidcat

Often it just takes one person to make a stand, well done Hester you have helped others too.

Primrose

Yes. Well done Hester for being so up-front. Why is it that it always takes one brave person to put their head above the parapet before everybody else has the courage to say what they really feel? It just brings it home how much peer pressure works in a structured environment where people can feel intimidated just by daring to be themselves.

mardatha

I think its a very subtle form of bullying - and you should never, EVER, let yourself be bullied.

pupsicola

3 years ago I became a lone parent to two little boys. I found the courage to leave a very abusive and violent marriage. I also walked
away from a very priviledged lifestyle, where money had been no object.

Its been a very steep learning curve and I have had my eyes opened to the hardships people face everyday. I have had to be responsible with my finances and find all kinds of ways to budget and be carefull. So much so that I am no longer aware that I do it, its just part of day to day life.

The main thing I dont do now is impulse buy. If I see something I like I search for it elsewhere to find it cheaper and give myself a few days to see if I do really want it. More often than not I dont.

I am happier now than I have ever been. Money doesn't buy you happiness. Its all the little things in life that matter.

pupsicola

One other thing that I do is have 3 different bank accounts. One where my money goes in. Another with all my direct debits set up to pay all bills and then the last account is for food, petrol, clothes and anything else we may need. I dont have a card for the account that pays all the direct debits. So I cant dib into it. I take a certain amount of cash out each week to cover what we need and once it is gone its gone. I have no loans, debts, store cards and dont use an overdraft.

A few years back I would never have imagined I could be so financially savvy, but when needs must you learn fast.

kidcat

Well done pupsicola, to be financially savvy and stable is a tremendous gift to give to yourself and children

allydowd

charlies-aunt wrote: »

Collections can get out of hand - in my last job, opting out of collections was not an option unless you wished to totally alienate yourself.

I have finally learned to say 'no' to these collections. I was tired of being pressurised into parting with 'only a tenner' every week for various collections and being called names if I so much as hesitated to contribute. I only earn £110 a week. A tenner is a lot of money. The the final straw was being asked to give a tenner to a good cause in place of giving 20 Christmas cards to colleagues as an "environmental measure". I would have spent less than a pound on these 20 cards, so there was no way I could afford a ten pound note!

So now I have a reputations as a 'tight wad' and I don't care! I just say 'no', hold my head up, and walk off. My family need to eat and be warm, and that comes first.

jamanda

There seems to be a lot of pressure on people to part with their money. Quite a few on this thread - multiply that by "everyone else" and that is a lot of people being subtly bullied "to fit in".

Caterina

The work Christmas lunch is a horrendous imposition on people, I hated the whole palaver when I worked in offices that had the practice of having this sort of do. I fell out with someone quite badly for being the only one to have the courage to say that £20 was a ridiculous amount to pay for something that had hardly any vegetarian choices, and there were 3 of us vegetarians.

Then of course they always want to share the drink bill and those of us who did not get completely sozzled would have to fork out for the immoderate ones. Sod all that!

At least the organisation I work for now is a charity and to thank its volunteers and staff it always offers the dinner and the trustees bring a few bottles too (it is always run in a lovely vegetarian Indian restaurant with no corkage).

DH's office used to have the Xmas party, paid for by the office too, but now that the credit crunch has made itself known to them, they are having an "in-house" do. Quite rightly DH commented (to me, privately, of course!) "Why the heck do they have to do it, it would be so much better and everybody so much happier if they just said: take the half day off and go home!"

purpleivy

Ahhhhh, Xmas dos! I have SAD and several times over recent years have not been fit to go out to an event that I had paid for. Fortunately they were social group ones that didn't cost more than a tenner. When the emails came round about the Xmas do at work this year I wondered about going. I've never been on the work one. When I found it was £35 there was no deciding to do. All that for a bit of a starter, a lukewarm main course and a factory made pud. No way! I could take the kids out for a nice lunch for that. Or pay for several Christmas presents. Or pay most of a week's groceries.