It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

fletch3163

Hi everyone

The subject of working outside or inside the home brings out strange feelings in me. I've always felt it's a luxury I could never afford and I'm jealous of those who can do it. I've worked since I was 13 but it was never out of pocket-money luxury, it was always out of necessity.

I never felt able to go into higher education as I had nobody to fund my learning/living. I don't regret this though and I'm fairly happy with my lot and I think I've ended up where I was always going to end up.

When I went back to work after having my DS (now 11) I was bereft. I was so resentful of leaving him that I never gave him to anyone to watch at the weekend or evenings. He's rarely been babysat and he's never stayed away overnight. God, how does that make me sound?:o

Sorry, I only popped in to say I think any kind of job that helps others in their home is a brilliant idea. Unfortunately they'll be first to go when money gets tight.

mardatha

I always worked too Fletch, so I know how you feel. I worked nights and the OH did days. I would have been content to stay at home always ..

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

mardatha wrote: »

I know somebody who runs a home ironing business and she is rushe doff her feet...that's actually a good idea !

I have a friend who started doing home ironing about 10 years ago.
Nowadays she has a house cleaning company and employs several ladies and is very busy.It all started when someone asked if she did cleaning as well.She's so busy at the moment, she's actually had to turn people away.
It's amazing how much people will pay for house cleaning.

kidcat

MRSTITTLEMOUSE wrote: »

I have a friend who started doing home ironing about 10 years ago.
Nowadays she has a house cleaning company and employs several ladies and is very busy.It all started when someone asked if she did cleaning as well.She's so busy at the moment, she's actually had to turn people away.
It's amazing how much people will pay for house cleaning.

All this is definitely giving me food for thought, as my youngest starts nursery in Sept and I would like to start doing something a couple of hours a day but lets be homest very few places are recruiting and are certainly not offering school type hours. Home ironing sounds ok and def worth looking into.

ppolly

I am a SAHM of one daughter, who will be starting school in September. We have just about managed on what my DH earns, but it has been a case of treading water financially for five years. I have started my very own business, which I will expand in September.

The decision whether to stay at home or not is an extremely personal one and sometimes dictated by circumstances. Some cannot afford to go back to work -due to the high cost of childcare, and others can't afford not to.
My DH would have been perfectly happy to be the stay at home one -its just that he earned a bit more than me at the time -thats not to say that he will always be the main wage earner in the future.

I think society is at fault in that paid work -the modern, Victorian version of it, was largely designed for and by men. It still isn't flexible enough in terms of working from home, job shares etc. In an ideal world work would fit around the family, not the other way around. Its an issue that has made me very cross in the past, which is why I decided to start my own business -I'm a very nice boss to work for!

fletch3163

mardatha wrote: »

I always worked too Fletch, so I know how you feel. I worked nights and the OH did days. I would have been content to stay at home always ..

That's how it is for us these days actually. Some days you meet yourself coming in as you leave. Husband's in at half 6 and I'm out at 7. Absolute madness. How on Earth one's supposed to conduct a marriage is anyone's guess Just tell me it's all worth it Mardatha and "normal" life comes back.

I think the hardest thing for me to reconcile with is how us women give ourselves a hard time with whatever choice we make. Damned if you do and damned if you don't eh! Oprah once said true freedom was being able to CHOOSE how you spent your time. Bliss.............

mardatha

well it cuts down on the chances for arguing :rotfl:

ifonlyitwaseasier

hmm good idea about the ironing, i am actually doing some for a friend, i don't like it but i'm good at it and cheaper than the shop she used before!

i have some temp work this week and hopefully the chance of a longer term contract after an interview later in the week so fingers crossed please!!

ioiwe x

ceridwen

ppolly wrote: »

I think society is at fault in that paid work -the modern, Victorian version of it, was largely designed for and by men. It still isn't flexible enough in terms of working from home, job shares etc. In an ideal world work would fit around the family, not the other way around.

I do see where you're coming from - but many people (of both sexes) dont have a big enough home to be able to spare any space in it for "working from home". I've certainly never been in that position - I spent 13 years in living situations where everyone would agree with me there wasnt a scrap of space to spare for "working from home" (bedsits, etc) and still havent got room (though I now have a house at last) and have got rooms doubling-up function with each other as it is. My meditation room also has to function as the dining room it was meant to be and as guest bedroom. The kitchen also has to double as conservatory.

The "down" side to jobshares is if only one half of a "jobshare" job becomes available - but one needs to have the whole job. I know I've seen a full-time job advertised as a "jobshare" before now - and asked for both halves of it, to make up the full-time job I need - and was told I could only ask for one half of it - so wasnt able to go after it. I tend to think the system works pretty well as it stands at present on that front - theres full-time jobs available for those that need a full-time salary and part-time jobs available for those who can manage on less money or can only possibly fit in a few hours paid work a week for one reason or another.

Also - even for many women paid work is something that has to be done in long stretches and confined to normal workhours (to leave our evenings and weekends free - partly because thats when many social events are organised - so we need to be available for them) - so it suits us to know that its 9-5 Monday-Friday or similar hours - as, that way, work impacts as little as possible on our "Real Lives".

geordie_joe

ppolly wrote: »

In an ideal world work would fit around the family, not the other way around.

But if that happened the world wouldn't be ideal.

You'd go for the bus to work only to discover that it isn't running because the driver is taking his/her kids to school.

You'd go into a shop at 9.00am only to find that none of the checkout assistants will arrive until 10.00am.

While it would be nice to choose when you work, for most jobs work has to fit in with work, not family life.