It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

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marybishop wrote: »

elizabunny - I know exactly how you feel! I've been ranting about people lighting bonfires in the middle of the day.

bonfires was one of the reasons we made up our minds about downsizing somewhere else. We had a neighbour who had a bonfire at least once a week but it was fed every day with damp lleylandi and it smouldered and spluttered for 5 days a week. It was terrible and affected my dh`s asthma so we had to have all the window vents shut as well as the windows. I couldn`t hang washing out either as it stunk. We asked him politely time after time and I even volunteered to take his cuttings to the dump but oh no!!!

no-one here is allowed bonfires, drying washing or barbeques as we all have an open patio but share the lovely views and land. That is the part of leasehold that I love

bellaquidsin

Well, that's it folks, our future has been decided for us. We have been waiting for weeks to see if DH was going to be kept on part time at work after his retirement date in mid June. He is not - company policy, they say.

I'm not too worried about the financial side of things as I had tightened our belts and trimmed our sales ready for retirement and with a little careful frugality and a lot of self denial we'll be OK.

I am a little concerned about HIS state of mind as so many men fall apart when they retire, hence we thought a little part time work would ease him
gently into a slowed down pace. Methinks he will need to look for voluntary work.

Got to get my very frugal head into gear now. I'm going out with DD today and need to look moderately smart. I think a shopping trip to my wardrobe is called for. Decisions, decisions, do I wear the 19year old skirt with the five year old jacket or the six year old skirt with the 18 year old jacket. Oh who's looking anyway?

I feel a vat of soup coming on later with salvaged veg. The compost heap doesn't do so well these days:rotfl: Two of our dinners this week will be a very small abount of meat in rissoles and curry respectively.

I'm just glad I was a war baby, have seen it all before and have the necessary coping skills.

Bella.

garden-lover

Austin_Allegro wrote: »

Use it as a greenhouse/cold frame - common practice in the former eastern bloc I believe.

This made me smile, as my OH thought I was mad last weekend when I wanted somewhere warm to put my dough to rise, so I put it in the car which was on the drive in the sun and consequently very warm - it worked a dream!

kidcat

garden-lover wrote: »

This made me smile, as my OH thought I was made last weekend when I wanted somewhere warm to put my dough to rise, so I put it in the car which was on the drive in the sun and consequently very warm - it worked a dream!

I discovered that the car was a much better place to sit and relax and read, last year, thehouse was slow to warm up and the car was sitting in the sun, so I would often spend an hour just sitting in the car on the drive relaxing and reading, keeping warm without paying to heat the house. Never thought of putting the dough in there though. Have used it to sit damp washing in to dry!

adouglasmhor

garden-lover wrote: »

This made me smile, as my OH thought I was made last weekend when I wanted somewhere warm to put my dough to rise, so I put it in the car which was on the drive in the sun and consequently very warm - it worked a dream!

Oh good idea! I use a San Fransisco sourdough starter and it likes the warmth, always looking for good places to raise it.

Primrose

I've also realised that the car can also have some ancilliary uses, apart from driving from A to B after I left some swimming togs & a towel on the seat in the morning and when I returned to it later in the day they'd dried in the sunshine.
So it can now serve as an emergency greenhouse overnight for my seedlings if my mini greenhouse is full.

recovering_spendaholic

Charis wrote: »

If it's any help, my mum used to charge me one third of my income back in the sixties, and I did the same with my kids. In reality it would take 100% and more of some youngsters' income to live in the kind of comfort they do at home.

Unless they have a struggle to live on the rest because they have high fares or debts to pay, you will be helping them more by charging enough to cover their share of the overheads than by cushioning them from reality. Otherwise it will be a real shock when the time comes for them to fend for themselves.

If you feel bad about it, you can always put a little away for them for the day when they want to set up their own home. If there isn't anything left to put away once the bills are paid then not to worry. The best kind of support we can give our kids is the kind that helps them to be capable of looking after themselves.

I wish it were that simple for me. I have an 18 year old who earns about £600 net a month. She refuses to pay me anything for keep and I still pay her mobile phone bill can be up to £50 each month. She also comes in at all hours of the night in a taxi for which she has no money to pay and I have to pay for it - last week she did it four times at £7 a time. She lives half the time at the bf's and so raids the fridge and cupboards daily for food to take to his student house, and if I say no she rants and raves at me. I was made redundant over a year ago and have no income at all other than a little child tax credit and incapacity benefit (I am waiting for a heart operation) - I am using my redundancy money to stretch that out to pay the mortgage and so on - it is do-able at the moment but I don't know what I will do when the redundancy money eventually runs out. I struggle to assert myself with her because she is very "in your face" and agressive but I wish I knew how to tackle it. I have made cutbacks and only have the heating and hot water on for a couple of hours a day, plus I did the downshifting grocery thing about a year ago and now buy alot of basics stuff and also shop in Lidl and Aldi (although I am not convinced they are that cheap any more). I am seriously considering getting rid of my car (it's on a lease thing with a balloon payment due in June) as someone I know is selling a Ford Focus which they have had from new and that would save me £127 a month in payments for a £750 one-off cost.

I enjoy reading your posts and have "lurked" up to now, so hope you don't mind me joining in.

kidcat

We really are stretching the usefulness of everything and getting true value now, I was wondering if it is likely that one day cars will have a built in solar panel on roof to recharge batteries and allow for petrol free motoring.? If only I could harness the true heat from inside the car, I reckon it could heat my house some days .

kidcat

recovering spendaholic, I am sorry your DD is causing you so much heartache, it may be that you are left with no choice but to ask her to move out. If she will not listen to reason and is costing you so much, it may become your only option. The only thing I can say is that its always worth one final chance of explaining that money is scarse and hope that she sees reason. Good luck

As for the car, would your car sell for enough to pay off the ourstanding finance and the £750 for the new one? If so its probably worth considering. Although you have to budget that an older car will cost more to run and MOT etc,

adouglasmhor

recovering_spendaholic wrote: »

I wish it were that simple for me. I have an 18 year old who earns about £600 net a month. She refuses to pay me anything for keep and I still pay her mobile phone bill can be up to £50 each month. She also comes in at all hours of the night in a taxi for which she has no money to pay and I have to pay for it - last week she did it four times at £7 a time. She lives half the time at the bf's and so raids the fridge and cupboards daily for food to take to his student house, and if I say no she rants and raves at me. I was made redundant over a year ago and have no income at all other than a little child tax credit and incapacity benefit (I am waiting for a heart operation) - I am using my redundancy money to stretch that out to pay the mortgage and so on - it is do-able at the moment but I don't know what I will do when the redundancy money eventually runs out. I struggle to assert myself with her because she is very "in your face" and agressive but I wish I knew how to tackle it. I have made cutbacks and only have the heating and hot water on for a couple of hours a day, plus I did the downshifting grocery thing about a year ago and now buy alot of basics stuff and also shop in Lidl and Aldi (although I am not convinced they are that cheap any more). I am seriously considering getting rid of my car (it's on a lease thing with a balloon payment due in June) as someone I know is selling a Ford Focus which they have had from new and that would save me £127 a month in payments for a £750 one-off cost.

I enjoy reading your posts and have "lurked" up to now, so hope you don't mind me joining in.

Change the locks when she is out. Don't pay her taxi or phone bill.. She needs to grow up and sorry to say you need to do it too, she thinks you are a mug. Get a friend to be be with you when you tell her that rules are being laid down if you can, and if she doens't abide by them she can go and live full time wwith BF, you don't owe her - she owes you.