It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

CFC

Reverbe wrote: »

Nah hes a flatmate. it is a one room flat - studio with a tiny bathroom and tiny kitchen. I moved in temporarily about 10 or so years ago as I was offered a job on Friday and lived up north and they wanted me to start Monday. That job ended when they closed the office after 6 months and since then I have not had a large enough income for a long enough period to be able to get my own place, so I have been sleeping on the floor here for 10 years. I haven't had a partner for a VERY long time.

I am still waiting to hear about benefit after losing my job the first week of December as apparently Belfast cannot be arsed to actually process my claim. They have only had it a month after all. It is a 10 min decision - yes or no on the claim and then agree on an amount. Last time i tried to sign on they told me I had too much savings and wanted me to spend it on living expenses. I told them that as I would not be getting a pension (this was told to me by Govt advisors a few years ago) that this meagre savings of £6000 was for my old age.Not that it would last about 6 months by the time it comes about.

Not being funny sweetheart, and having your best interests very much at heart, but if you have £6k in savings you really ought to consider moving into your own studio flat. If you are renting and on a low wage or no wage you will get assistance to pay the rent from the council (housing benefit, don't know if they are still calling it that). You would just need to find the deposit yourself. I'm horrified that you have been in this situation for 10 years.

Sleeping on the floor in a shared flat with a man will clearly expose you to the following problems, not saying that you suffer from them but you may at some point have trouble with these in the future:

back or other health problems due to sleeping on the floor
mental health issues due to lack of privacy between sexes and lack of security (eg flatmate pinching stuff)
isolation issues due to potentially being unable to invite friends round or make romantic relationships (cos lack of privacy plus ppl assuming you are an item with your flat mate due to lack of privacy)
self esteem problems (due to above factors)

I think that you should look further into your pension situation. The rules change from time to time. If you are in a situation that you haven't paid enough NI contributions to get a full state pension, you will still be entitled to income support that will bring you very close to that figure. You may in fact find that you are a lot better off once you reach retirement age, so please don't let worry about when you retire be a factor that prevents you from finding a home of your own.

ceridwen

Well - I agree with CFC there.

£6,000 is the savings limit for receiving all benefit due with no problems. £6,001 and you start having problems - but £6,000 and you are entitled to get all the benefit due. That being the case - you can spend all that £6,000 as you see fit without some Government Dept trying to regulate it.

So - yep - I think you should look round for a place of your own urgently. Anyone - but anyone - who sees you sharing a studio flat with a member of the opposite sex will assume that you are an "item" and that includes the D.W.P. You must be confusing the heck out of them when you say that you are single in those circumstances. You may find that they think "she must be a couple with this guy" and refuse to pay your benefit if you stay put. How the heck are you going to prove to them that you AREN'T a couple when there arent 2 separate bedrooms? The ONLY way to deal with that IS to get your own place - then they have no option BUT to believe that you are single.

I've taken in lodgers before now - and sometimes they have been male - and I knew that I had to be able to state to the D.W.P. that they had their own bedroom (here - come and take a look if you want) and show the rentbook I had for them, etc if I should ever need to claim benefit to make sure that I GOT my benefit.

Besides those financial considerations - errr...yep...as CFC says...just how are you going to get a relationship going with anyone else in a living situation like that? How would you prove to them that you really are single?

Even if you were a couple - then you would need more privacy than a studio flat can provide. An absolute minimum accommodation standard for a couple is a one bedroom/one living room flat - so to be trying to share a studio flat with someone who isnt even an O.H. - :eek:

Best wishes that you get both job and home situation sorted out okay in the New Year.

happytails

Just popping on to wish everyone a merry christmas!!!

Not in the best spirits as my brother appears to have stolen a full unopened bottle of Vodka from my Dads xmas stash and wont own up to it. We've searched the house and when dad rang him to ask him he replied with 'Maybe Sarah took it' and hung up. Leaving Dad to question me about it - who doesnt drink and its sodding Pregnant. The reason we assume its my 17yo brother is because in the past few months he has stolen Money from my Mum and Dad and is lying about things (he is bad at it). So no one trusts what he says and then this Vodka mysteriously disappears and the sod trys to put the blame on me which makes me and OH furious as we are always trying to sort him out and reason with him. Doesnt look good when we are supposed to be moving in in 3 weeks time! Luckily i think dad trusts us but i dont know what my Brother is playing at - and its sure to ruin christmas tomorrow!
Rant over!

Sarah & Bump
9+2 to go!

[Deleted User]

Happy christmas everyone

Sarah I would put a lock on your new bedroom door. We put one on ours so that we could keep our bedroom privacy when we were out and our children were teenagers.

Apart from stealing it is natural to nose. Have a whisper with mum and dad first and I am sure they won`t mind

ceridwen

I wouldnt agree that its "natural to nose" - its unwarranted intrusion to "nose" - no matter who is doing the intruding. But - it DOES happen. I was already thinking myself "she needs to put a lock on that bedroom door" when you said about your brother. Gawd - comes to summat when you cant trust your own family.....thinking of that brother of yours.

.....(hmmm....walks off thinking "but then I dont trust my brother either...in a different respect"....)

happytails

We will have to get a lock as i have a lot of tins with money in for different things and i wouldnt notice a few quid going missing and if i did id be very upset.

He is going through a phase (i hope), hes 17, at college and has the easy life at mums (no rent etc). Hes just passed his car test and got a car (used his Savings dad has accumalated for him over the years) and is out alot with his casual girlfriend or his mates. Lost 2 jobs in a row over not going in to work (first job he lost he told us he'd been made redundant :mad: we believed him - i got made redundant the day before and felt sorry for him that he was in my position and helped him get the 2nd job :mad::mad:) So no money coming in and just thinks he can get away with stealing out of mum and dads savings tin, mums purse and now the alcohol cabinet :eek: Then denies the latest accusation and tries to make it out like ive took the alcohol - which really upsets me as im the one that gets him to talk and im beggining to think hes closing up on me too now.

I think he needs all priviledges taking away (car, phone, ability to go out when he pleases) be given 2 months to find a job and keep at it to start paying rent (and the £250 he owes mum) - if he doesnt find one then he will have to move out and bunk at a friends or something.

Even though we are in a pickle we have always had a job if poss and always do the overtime etc and pay our bills first and if we are short of money i ask if i could borrow some, not just steal it

Sorry gone on and on - can you tell it bugs me???

ANYWAY, its christmas morn a new day, going to get OH up and out of bed as we have the dogs to tire out before we can do anything. Hope everyone has a great day and enjoys their lunch! yum yum.

Sarah xxxx

happytails

Morning!
Well that Vodka mysteriously re- appeared.

Just to let you know Rosie, one of my dogs, went to her new home yesterday sad but im happy as they text me to say she had settled well last night so just waiting for another update in the next few days

Went to Woolworths yesterday and got a load of stuff 50% off . OH bought me a Wii for xmas so we got 4 Wii games and Hancock DVD all for £40 but we had a £30 one4all voucher for xmas so cost us £10 - well chuffed as it should have been about £80 !

Speak soon,
Sarah & Bump
8+6 to go!

Reverbe

CFC wrote: »

Not being funny sweetheart, and having your best interests very much at heart, but if you have £6k in savings you really ought to consider moving into your own studio flat.

Can't afford it. As said that money is for my pension as I will not be getting some.

If you are renting and on a low wage or no wage you will get assistance to pay the rent from the council (housing benefit, don't know if they are still calling it that).

I have tried the council once when I was physically thrown out and as I am not an asylum seeker, drunk, on drugs . pregnant or have kids they would do nothing to home me not even put me on a waiting list.

You would just need to find the deposit yourself. I'm horrified that you have been in this situation for 10 years.

Thank you but it is funny I never think about my situation until someone else mentions it.

Sleeping on the floor in a shared flat with a man will clearly expose you to the following problems,

back or other health problems due to sleeping on the floor had a bad back way before living here.
mental health issues due to lack of privacy between sexes and lack of security (eg flatmate pinching stuff) not really any lack of privacy. I don't think I have any need for privacy, can't think what I do that would call for privacy.
isolation issues due to potentially being unable to invite friends round

This isnt really an issue as I don't have any friends and if I did I would not be inviting them to this miniscule rathole anyway,

or make romantic relationships (cos lack of privacy plus ppl assuming you are an item with your flat mate due to lack of privacy)

again this is not really ever been an issue. I am single and have been for a long time and have never been able to attract people.


I think that you should look further into your pension situation. The rules change from time to time. If you are in a situation that you haven't paid enough NI contributions to get a full state pension, you will still be entitled to income support that will bring you very close to that figure.

I was told what I would get would be nowhere NEAR income support levels.

quote]

Pitlanepiglet

happytails wrote: »

Morning!
OH bought me a Wii for xmas so we got 4 Wii games and Hancock DVD all for £40 but we had a £30 one4all voucher for xmas so cost us £10 - well chuffed as it should have been about £80 !

Sorry, I can't not say anything....why on earth are you buying computer games when you've got an overdraft you can't pay, you're having to move in with your parent and a baby due in a few weeks. Seriously have you not got better things to spend money on

Reverbe

ceridwen wrote: »

Wel



I think you should look round for a place of your own urgently. Anyone - but anyone - who sees you sharing a studio flat with a member of the opposite sex will assume that you are an "item" and that includes the D.W.P.

I have had no issues with them before. I have even gone so far as to tell them that they are free to install cameras etc as they will not find anything. Also of course you/they seem to not be taking my sexuality into account. I could of course be gay as could he. In actual fact neither of us are really interested in that type of thing. He hasnt been for years - he is rather old now and I gave up a long time ago.

You must be confusing the heck out of them when you say that you are single in those circumstances. You may find that they think "she must be a couple with this guy" and refuse to pay your benefit if you stay put.

I find the idea of them or anyone else making that assumption to be grossly offensive. It offends my taste and my morals.No offence but assumptions and generalisations are a MAJOR beef for me.


How the heck are you going to prove to them that you AREN'T a couple when there arent 2 separate bedrooms?

Not everyone including married couples who share a room have sex.I at one stage was almost married to someone who lived in another country. separate bedrooms do not prove one is single or married or a couple or not.


Besides those financial considerations - errr...yep...as CFC says...just how are you going to get a relationship going with anyone else in a living situation like that? How would you prove to them that you really are single?

That hasnt been a thing I have ever considered to be honest.Again tho I have to say nobody can prove anything. Look at all those married men who years later it comes out that they have 2 families etc?

Even if you were a couple - then you would need more privacy than a studio flat can provide.

I am a little baffled by all this talk of privacy as I cannot think of a single aspect of my life/act that would incur a need for privacy.


Best wishes that you get both job and home situation sorted out okay in the New Year.

Thank you very much for your best wishes and kind words.