feeling like a fraud

sairy2005

I have worked all my life. From the age of 15 to just over 60 when I had to give up due to ill health. I have had major heart surgery and now have pulmonary hypertension. I am claiming benefits (DLA) but am also very grateful for it. It allows me to do things I wouldnt be able to do due to cost.
I do feel guilty when I have a good day and can manage to get around OK but then I read that it costs £350.000.00 to treat each drug addict and I dont feel so guilty after all.
I think any normal person (i.e. not out to rob the system) feels like this but it is there to help and they are quite strict about who gets DLA (not sure about any thing else) I had to have a statement from my GP and the consultant at the hospital.
So we should just be grateful that we live in a country where the less able are looked after unlike some places.
We all hate paying taxes but this is one of the reasons for paying them and I think I have paid quite a lot in my time.

purplecatlover

i think thats part of my problem, i was a student therefore not paying ni for most of my working career, i only managed 18months of working and paying taxes and ni, maybe two years if i include the time i was still getting paid by work while off, before i had to come off sick. i intend to go back to something, though its unlikely i can go back to my original career which means my degree (also funded by the state sinc ei got grants) is now useless.

Gemmzie

I feel very similar to your purplecatlover, I'm a student (having a break for now though) and have only ever worked part-time so feel more guilty about claiming benefits because I don't currently earn enough to pay much in.
But my parents have all their lives and my mum is my carer, they say they are happy that they are helping me make life easier. I also use my DLA to treat my mum as she has to do so much for me, like respite for her as a carer
I don't really know how to get over the guilt (but then I have MH issues too so feel guilty over everything) but thought I'd let you know that you aren't the only one.

celticmoneysaver

It is tough especially when there are constant media comments of benefit scroungers..
but you do need it now...you wouldn't have got it unless you are entiltled ..the number who are and shouldn't is drastically over exaggerated...the system as far as I'm concerned is extremely rigorous..
and if you didn't have it you would probably soon relapse..

Then again maybe it will change some day..I still live in that hope but it is unlikely to happen..only to a limited extent..as my brain damage is permanent which I have finally had confirmed but it took 16 years.:T
and yes I am only out and about when I'm ok..so aspersions oops can't seem to get that one to come out of the box properly/accusations are made..but I've had to accept I have no choice..it is not easy even now

Good luck and I hope you have people around you to remind you of your worth..if not I highly recommend buying yourself like a teddy to wink at when it feels grey..they also always seem to say the right thing:j

Sad or what:rotfl:

Guapa1

I have days where I feel this way. However nights (or mornings) like this where I'm up all night in pain reminds me of why I need it.

hilstep2000

I have MS which is also a variable condition. When I'm well, I look and feel fine, but when I'm relapsing (like now) I can't walk.
I used to feel like you, but now with so many scroungers out there I don't. I've worked since I was 16. When my husband left after 20 years of marriage, I didn't give up, I worked more hours and claimed tax credits. (my children were 9 and 13, so I could ave gone on income support)
Now, I am finding it increasingly difficult to go to work (been off 9 weeks so far) and am worried how I wll manage.
I have decided to claim everything, they'll soon tell me if I can't have it.
Don't feel guilty, you are entitled to your dla, like me.

pipkin71

Interesting thread pcl.

I've tried to stay away from the guilt as I've only ever claimed what I'm entitled to. Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions though. I had a letter to say they had increased my DLA award and although I'm very appreciative of it, I only received it because of a deterioration in my health.

I wish I wasn't in the position of qualifying for what I now receive, and I have thought about the amount which led to the mixed feelings, but I have to remind myself that I am entitled to the increase so have to ignore what anyone else may think.

I hope there comes a time when I can report another change of circumstances - the change being that I am getting better, but for now I will make the most of the amount I receive so that life is easier for my family.

I know it's difficult and can appreciate why you feel the way you do, but the decision makers have determined that you qualify for the award and the thoughts of anyone else is irrelevant.

larmy16

All you people try not to feel guilty. That is just adding another burden on top of you already having to deal with a disability. There are lots of tax payers who do not see you as scroungers and are only too happy to help people - after all who knows when or if we may be in the same boat.

Saying that I do know how you feel. When I was on income support when my ds was very young, I used to feel awful, especially when John Redwood started off "Single Mothers are to blame for all the ills in our society" - I just felt so low down and like everyone was judging me. It was hard enough being alone with a child without all that blame on your shoulders.

Take care X

pipkin71

larmy16 wrote: »

All you people try not to feel guilty. That is just adding another burden on top of you already having to deal with a disability. There are lots of tax payers who do not see you as scroungers and are only too happy to help people - after all who knows when or if we may be in the same boat.

Saying that I do know how you feel. When I was on income support when my ds was very young, I used to feel awful, especially when John Redwood started off "Single Mothers are to blame for all the ills in our society" - I just felt so low down and like everyone was judging me. It was hard enough being alone with a child without all that blame on your shoulders.

Take care X

Excellent post larmy :T

tanith

Good thread people , but feeling I am not 'bad' enough to claim is the reason I still haven't, I feel if I was bad enough my doc would of suggested it to me.. I have extensive O/A two surgeries so far a second hip replacement is coming soon but I manage, so feel that while I manage I shouldn't claim. I can walk to the local shop for basic supplies and a paper and thats what keeps me going..