Weekly Flylady Thread 17th November 2008

KAAT_LADY

ZLS1984 wrote: »

Had to quickly add one more that my dd does, when I go to buy Ladies personals, she loudly sings Fanny Pads around the store. On this particular occasion in Superdrug she told the lady at the till, My mummy needs these to stick to her bum, there called Fanny Pads.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh the shame, I never knew my face could go so red.

loved it

lil_me

Kids I used to childmind didn't play with condoms, they managed to find 'always ultra with wings' and made the most lovely aeroplanes and stuck them to the walls. Treasures!

ZLS eek now that's why I just tell my kids the proper name for everything!

My sons come out with corkers, luckily most have senses of humour as they can seem rude. Like DPs friend who was a 'regular' visitor (DS1 not keen om visitors) DS1 showed him the doormat we were going to get 'just for you' out of the Kleeneze. Similar to this http://www.giftmonger.com/acatalog/pt-HM0149-ohnomat-2.jpg Comments like 'Don't worry she might be dead old people do that sometimes' when my Nana took a while to answer the door.

johanne, eventually you will realise just how nasty he's being to you, and you will be able to deal with it, it won't take long before you get to the stage where you either throw him out or want to kill him guessing by what he's been like so far. There is only so far he'll be able to push you around. It took me a few weeks to get to that stage, after many days and nights just been left to deal with everything while he went out with whoever he liked, god knows who he was with or what he was up to, one day when he'd 'gone out' when we were not 'together' but he was living with us, I just packed his stuff and left it outside....that was probably the best thing I ever did for my children and me. You will not be being nasty when you deal with it, you will be doing what is best for you and little pumpkin aswell as him although it might not seem like that now. My partner, he's a lazy sod now, does less than I would like, but before that treated me as a complete doormat and towards the end got violent. Things aren't perfect now but he sharp realised what he'd lost when it was gone, doesn't waste money we need for bills or go out and leave me all the time like he did, in fact now I can't get rid of him sometimes when I want some peace lol. Took a lot of work to get where we are now. Hardest thing was getting my parents to accept him as my partner again and that he had changed, especially after the violence, he had to earn their trust back as he did with me.

Blimey, there is a house a few streets away for £164,950 for a 4 bed rather than a 3, so pleased we didn't buy this, we'd have had to offer close to £195k to beat the offer they had....wow, goodness knows how much the price would be now, we'd have lost a LOT of money in the last year I know that. Mid year I got a 'guesstimate' done by an estate agent who said £175k, must have gone down by now with a 4 bed being under £165k

toottifrootti

Johanne honey - he's a bully and he knows you get upset and he's using Sarah because he also knows that you are trying to keep things normal for her sake. Bullies dont like it when you face up to them as you did with your ultimatum - No matter how hard you try Sarah will notice something is wrong - you dont want that - and you dont want to be constantly on your guard around her - you should be relaxed and happy - have you spoken to your Mum about the situation?
I sincerely dont think its acase of you not fitting in - thats the sad johanne thinking! What about you and nikki going out for a night when her DD is with her ex and sarah at your mum's? even if its just for a pizza or a couple of drinks - you could easy do that!
Have you no nice neighbours that you could invite in for a coffee one eving/morning so that you start to widen your circle.
toots xx

angelnikki

My weekend list:
S&S kitchen [strike]Mon Tue[/strike][strike]Wed Thu Fri Sat[/strike] Sun
5 a day [strike]Mon [/strike][strike]Tue Wed[/strike] Thu [strike]Fri [/strike][strike]Sat[/strike] Sun
rest [strike]Mon[/strike][strike] Tue Wed Thu Fri[/strike] Sat Sun
bed by 10(ish) Mon [strike]Tue[/strike] Wed [strike]Thu[/strike] Fri Sat Sun
[strike]MrT online shop[/strike]
[strike]put away clean washing[/strike]
clear out wardrobe
[strike]sort paperwork[/strike][strike]
update GC and pots spreadsheets
banking and t/fers [/strike]
[strike]baking[/strike]
start xmas shopping!! :xmassmile :rudolf:

Yippee got some more done today.:j Sorted out all my paperwork, updated my spreadsheets and finished my banking stuff. Made some rock buns, and we had jambalaya for dinner. Yummy

Johanne get rid! I've been putting up with a !!!!!! atmosphere for over 2 years. I'm agoraphobic and cant leave X and I cant kick him out because its his house. You shouldnt feel guilty, you gave him the choice to do more and he hasn't. It's his actions that are wrong not yours.

Take care xx

SarahShattered

johanne wrote: »

Thanks everyone... i know i need to be tougher but i cant be!! I get guilty when i tell him he needs to do more etc as the atmosphere just becomes sh*t and sarah picks up on it and its me that ends up in tears. The whole reason weve split up is because i gave him and ultimatum and he didnt like it.... i been told to throw X out onto the street and let the council etc find a roof for over his head etc.... but i cant bring myself to do it... im just not that nasty

Valli - Nope not had a night out People i used to go out withn keep promising to meet up for a drink and ive even arranged for mum to have sarah. But there always seems to be some excuse the day before. I guess i just dont fit in anymore I only ever see X and my mum... oh and my childhood sweetheart wants to pop round now im single again... hes like a bad smell though.... always lingers..... Im not interested in the slightest though!

He will know you feel guilty for the bad atmosphere, that's why he does it. You don't have to respond to his bad atmosphere tho Johanne. You can be chirpy with Sarah even if you don't feel it inside. There'll always be an "i can't do anything different" reason, honey. It is down to you do change how things are done.

You can go to mother and baby groups/toddler groups to meet new friends if you're feeling left out by your other mates.

And, you don't have to throw him out on the streets. Someone explained the other day that his mother's benefits wouldn't be that altered if he moved home.... just because he doesn't want to, isn't your problem.

I think the bottom line is that you don't really want him to leave and that you want things to be ok between you. There's nothing wrong with wanting that... but... and it's a big but.... he wants his cake and the cherry and the whipped cream and the chocolate sprinkles. He wants to stay where he is, do nothing, and create a bad atmosphere if you complain. Hmmm, what's in it for you babes?

toottifrootti

(((((((hugs))))))))) to you too angelnikki - how horrible to be stuck in a situation like that - when were you last outside?
toots xx

toottifrootti

pigpen -how the lipids are you today - have you been having a busy lipid day? did you do some lipid Chrsitmas shopping - any lipid bargains at boots - I need some help with the lipid boots vouvhers again - any lipid tips????
get the lipids picture yet??
toots xx

froddington

As you probably guessed, I didn't freeze (much!) at football and I'm now nice and warm at home. Have made dinner, washed up and s&s kitchen. Have now just managed to catch up with the thread!

soappie - glad you're feeling a bit better

hollyh - hope OH is ok and suitably apologetic

rach - my church sells non-chocolate nativity advent calendars. If you still need one, I can get one to post to you

johanne - hugs - you are not being selfish - you are entitled to time for yourself

AnWs - well done to Miss A

ZLS - sounds like you could do with a hug too, and you angelnikki

I've ordered some pressies online, but still need stuff for dad. What do you buy someone who's 74 four weeks before Christmas and basically has all he needs?!! I've managed to get his b'day presents, but am stuck for Christmas!

Am thinking I might do a quick HHI in a bit ...........................

lil_me

froddy we have similar relatives to buy for, male aswell, so far ideas are

Gloves, nice quality ones (I want driving ones for my Dad but struggling to find them)
Grandad survival kit - examples - picture of the kids, hankies for when he catches their colds, gloves for pushing them on the swings, thermal socks to keep his feet warm, toffees, smal bottle of whiskey (for when they go home) a western DVD, ear plugs
DVDs of his favourite TV series
Paying his newspaper money for the year/ordering magazine subsrciption
Old favourites food/drinks hamper inc the sweets, beers, jams, chutneys etc he likes but doesn't tend to buy himself
Car cleaning kit (but depends if they drive/can)

Unfortunately that's just about all we have come up with so far. Oh and you can't do a quick HHI!

froddington

lil_me wrote: »

froddy we have similar relatives to buy for, male aswell, so far ideas are

Gloves, nice quality ones (I want driving ones for my Dad but struggling to find them)
Grandad survival kit - examples - picture of the kids, hankies for when he catches their colds, gloves for pushing them on the swings, thermal socks to keep his feet warm, toffees, smal bottle of whiskey (for when they go home) a western DVD, ear plugs
DVDs of his favourite TV series
Paying his newspaper money for the year/ordering magazine subsrciption
Old favourites food/drinks hamper inc the sweets, beers, jams, chutneys etc he likes but doesn't tend to buy himself
Car cleaning kit (but depends if they drive/can)

Unfortunately that's just about all we have come up with so far. Oh and you can't do a quick HHI!

Thanks lil_me - I've got him a DVD for his birthday and he doesn't have any grandchildren (just me!!!!) Like the idea of a subscription though - will look into that.

Please can I do a quick HHI - it sounds better if it's quick!!! Right, off to do it now!