Weekly Flylady Thread 17th November 2008

toottifrootti

Valli wrote: »

Toots

Any good?

http://www.youreableshop.co.uk/product/plug-tug-HH/PT2.html

briiliant Valli - you're a star!!!! havent seen that kind before!
toots xx

juliejim

Err Jo - no you're not - you're being a fabulous mummy who needs a break now and again like everyone else. Can't you just get up and go somewhere tomorrow and leave Sarah with him? She's his child too - you don't have to ask permission!

AnW'sMum

Valli wrote: »

AnWsMum I know you're at work NOW but in the Advertiser ONE of the Morrisons near here is now doing 5p off a litre of petrol if you spend over £40 - and of course there's the £20 voucher save AND you don't have to spend the petrol voucher the same day - tho' obviously you would only want to make the journey once. Don't know if I'll traipse but it might suit you to visit Staveley.

Woohoo - bedroom done - only the dining room to do now!
and my extras:p

Hi Guys

Great news, Miss A got her silver badge at swimming this morning :j:j. She as acquired several £ from her good efforts at school etc recently and asked if she could spend them on a guitar necklace, this one in Argos, so I reserved it before we went swimming (before she did her silver badge) and went to pick it up afterwards. Had already been reduced, I had £2.50 in nectar points as well so by the time I had given her £10 for her badge she only had to pay £10 towards it :money:She is planning on wearing to when we go to see Quo next month

Thanks for the heads up valli, will check out if our M's is doing the 5p/l and if necessary might consider a trip to Staveley. Petrol had dropped to 89.9p here yesterday.

toottifrootti

johanne wrote: »

I adore her....... but i really feel like i need some time away from her when im no doing my avon....or cleaning this place...... i havent even managed to get the supermarket in over a month!! I have had to order online because i dont drive and so its too awkward to take her with me and everytime ive asked him to mind her while i go he lets me down But finds time to go to his friends.. or jump when his mum says so..:rolleyes:

Soooooorrrryyy just really fed up and feeling sorry for myself. I have badly swollen glands today and it feels like im swallowing glass.

IGNORE ME.... IM JUST BEING AN UNREASONABLE SELFISH OBNOXIOUS COWBAG

hugs honey - and you are not being "AN UNREASONABLE SELFISH OBNOXIOUS COWBAG" - do not think like that!! We all know you love sarah to bits but you need some me-time too - he's the AN UNREASONABLE SELFISH OBNOXIOUS [EMAIL="ARS@HOLE"]ARS*HOLE[/EMAIL] for not giving you more help/support. With regard to your mum - have you asked her how she feels about looking after sarah or are you just surmising??? Could you arrange with her a definite tme/day weekly for her to watch sarah either at your or hers? and then you could have time to shop or pamper yourself. I know you are willing to work at your relationship with OH but he is taking the pi$$ and if you want him to stay it should be on terms that suit you both not just him (IMHO)
Or whatabout a nursery for pumpkin - I know its expensive but even if you could manage a day or a part day it would be good for both of you - food for thought??
it sounds like you have the start of a cold or something - so thats not helping - be kind to yourself today - keep warm and try to have a rest - sarah permitting of course!!!
I'm glad you are able to come on here and rant and I hope it helps - we are always here for you both!
toots xx

TAG

johanne wrote: »

i wish I'd actually asked him to have her this afternoon so i could have a break and some time to myself .....even if it was only to go the supermarket ....... but his mum rang yesterday and said she was going to the place FILs ashes are spread so invited us both... he said no because he didnt wanna go with his mum then she suddenly turned up at our front door and then changed his tune and ...... then he didnt tell me he wasnt taking sarah like we'd discussed him doing IF he was going to go.... i didnt know until he got ready to go and then just went "ok bye bye you two..." and left! :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Dont get me wrong i dont resent him going to visit his dads "grave" but he said he didnt wanna go with his [strike]wailing banshee of a [/strike] mother

Oh maybe im being a selfish cow but id like a little break from being "mummy" except when ive had to take sarahs to my mums while i do my avon (cant take sarah with me to do certain parts of my round as it doesnt have any pavement at all and so is too dangerous!!) i havent had any time away from her at all in weeks i have her night and day cos even then i do what i need to as quick as possible then walk up to mums to collect her cos i feel im taking the p*ss as its always my mum looking after her lately.....

X used to take her to his mums everytime he was off (every 4 days) but he hasnt been in weeks... doesnt even take her the local shops when he goes anymore...

I managed an hour last night when i refused to look after her so i could clean the bedroom BUT he still came up with her 3 times to "see" me with her.... and then when she fell asleep in the evening i managed a 15 minute bath.... but whilst i was getting dried he brought her up and said he wanted a bath now so id have to take her - i still had wet hair and a towel round myself! Sounds silly but i only managed to shave my legs last night for the 2nd time since sarah was born!!

I adore her....... but i really feel like i need some time away from her when im no doing my avon....or cleaning this place...... i havent even managed to get the supermarket in over a month!! I have had to order online because i dont drive and so its too awkward to take her with me and everytime ive asked him to mind her while i go he lets me down But finds time to go to his friends.. or jump when his mum says so..:rolleyes:

Soooooorrrryyy just really fed up and feeling sorry for myself. I have badly swollen glands today and it feels like im swallowing glass.

IGNORE ME.... IM JUST BEING AN UNREASONABLE SELFISH OBNOXIOUS COWBAG

Awww :grouphug: NO YOUR NOT BEING SELFISH!!

Just because you have a young baby does not mean you don't deserve or need some 'me' time. Of course you do.

Is there anyway you could get someone to have her overnight? Maybe your mum? I know you say you feel like your taking the pi$$ but I'm sure your mum will remember and understand how your feeling. Just to have a bit of space for 24 hours can make all the difference.

toottifrootti

AnW'sMUm well done to Miss A - thats brilliant and I love her necklace!!
toots xx

Valli

juliejim wrote: »

Err Jo - no you're not - you're being a fabulous mummy who needs a break now and again like everyone else. Can't you just get up and go somewhere tomorrow and leave Sarah with him? She's his child too - you don't have to ask permission!

Ditto that - what I am going to say now is awful but this is how your situationlooks to me...
He has given you the elbow - he has mentally left the relationship and that's why you are suddenly doing all the childcare. If (and when) he does go does he intend to continue contact with Sarah? at the moment it looks like he is living a single life without even the parenting responsibilities IYSWIM - whether or not you stay together this needs sorting - she is his child and if he can effectively 'give up'parenting her properly while you're around he is going to find it easy not to take any responsibility for her if he does go.
Try and negotiate this now if you can - make sure he takes time to be with her without you around.
Hope you don't mind but IMHO actions speak louder than words and if he can behave like this when you are around he is going to let you and Sarah down because he won't be taking responsibility for her.
My ex didn't want to go because of the kids - he was worried he was going to lose them yet he finds it so easy to change access times and goes away for weekends even though that's the only time he is supposed to see them - he rarely phones them in the week and I am making a big effort to keep their contact going...DS hasn't seen him for two weeks - I have asked exOH to phone and keep in touch. We'll see. DS didn't even get a phone call on his birthday and, he claims, he can't remember the phone number. Well it's in the book - in his name so easy to find!
Please understand that I am posting this because I can see how easy your OH suddenly seems to be having his life...he is behaving like a lodger - not a daddy. And bear in mind sometimes that as outsiders we see things from a different viewpoint and are not emotionally involved.
(((hugs)))

ZLS1984

Hi all,

Well my attempt at sleeping on the couch was a no go as my dad was in bed and my dd did not want mummy to sleep. She usuallys watches a couple of her programmes then wakes me up after.

I am now layed here typing with horrible back ach and achy legs but I think thats the way I have been layed on this mini couch lol.

Can some one tell me what HHC is or is it HCC arghhhhhhhhhhhhh silly head on,

Craftyscholar

johanne - I don't usually comment on relationship posts (no recent experience) but I agree with the others. He was already being fairly unreasonable - if he wants to go then it is up to him to work out how to make it possible. Not say he wants to leave then hang around like a bad smell.
Now he is really taking the pi$$ - big time :mad:
and no you are not being selfish - just human.
As toots said, are you sure how your mum feels. She may well be happy having pumpkin and be willing to help more.

AND well done to Miss A :T:T:T

Valli

AnW'sMum wrote: »

Hi Guys

Great news, Miss A got her silver badge at swimming this morning :j:j. She as acquired several £ from her good efforts at school etc recently and asked if she could spend them on a guitar necklace, this one in Argos, so I reserved it before we went swimming (before she did her silver badge) and went to pick it up afterwards. Had already been reduced, I had £2.50 in nectar points as well so by the time I had given her £10 for her badge she only had to pay £10 towards it :money:She is planning on wearing to when we go to see Quo next month

Thanks for the heads up valli, will check out if our M's is doing the 5p/l and if necessary might consider a trip to Staveley. Petrol had dropped to 89.9p here yesterday.

You're welcome!
just given mugs of hot choccy to two moist, cold, but considerably better off teenagers. They have washed about 6 cars @ £4.00 a car but will do two (for those lucky 2 car families) for £7.00 (their idea!) They have got the bug and gone back out!
AnWsMum when you post a link you change the displayed text. How?