suddenly seperated

3plus1

homealone wrote: »

i have still sent some more texts but still no answer.

This is maybe one of your problems I can actually help you with.

I know you're upset, curious and frustrated, but sending your husband texts isn't going to get you anywhere. He's made it clear that he's not going to bother replying - in fact, how do you know he's still using the same phone? He could easily have picked up a new sim card.

Whenever you feel like sending him another message, don't. Write it down on a piece of paper instead, or on the computer. You might even find it helpful to set up a free email address (e.g. a gmail account) with his name/nickname in the address, never log in back, but use that address to 'send him' letters. It won't be him reading the emails - in fact, no one ever will. But if you get to hit 'send', you might get that same feeling of release that you do every time you send him a text now. The only difference is, you won't regret it afterwards.

In terms of the practical side of things, maybe you could send your husband a letter via his mum's address, pointing out that you have certain financial ties and you need to sit down calmly and sort things out. Maybe later on in the New Year when you've both had a long enough break to consider where you and how you want to sort things out. Don't get emotional in the letter or he'll ignore it.

That's me done with practical advice now. I don't know how to help you with the rest and make everything right - all I can suggest is taking strength in your son. Regardless of if he knows/understands why your husband has walked out, the point is that like you, he's in a brand new situation and change is always unsettling. Be there for each other.

SailorSam

Puts any problems i have in perspective, can't say anymore than i'm sure you'll get through it Can never be a good time to feel so upset but it must be worse for you as we come to Christmas.
All i can say i hope the new year can bring you a fresh start and happiness, good luck.

blackcoffee

huge hugs for you op. i can offer little advice im sorry, my ownly suggestion is switch off your mobile, he knows where you are, should he ever want to talk, he can find you. texting or pestering him in his mind isnt going to help your mind. he may of even switched his phone off, so prob isnt getting your messages.

the advice another poster gave was good, just write down every thought about him, keep it on a piece of paper and date each thought.

thinking of you.

squidge60

again no advice but glad to see you have come back to post.x

flufff

I just wanted to let you know things will get better and to send you a hug.
Sounds like you have a lovely son.
Now is a good time to call on friends you will soon find out who your best friends are.
People dont just up n go I'm afraid.Its often very premeditated for what suits them.I know Ive been on the receiving end.In my case he couldnt admit to thinking grass was greener.If hes not saying then its most likely due to a guilty conscience.Trust me the truth does come out but all you need worry about is yourself.Get those forms in and money sorted.Thats urgent.
Will anyone have you over for xmas?

flufff

A good book or favorite film can work wonders as a distraction x

Puzzledbubbles

Hey Hun,

Glad you popped in again, ive not been on the boards much, its all getting inside my head again and im not doing as well as i was, some days feel like im back to square one

Hope you and the kids enjoy christmas, its a good excuse to have a weep because all the christmas films i see at the mo seem to have some kind ov tragedy that makes me want to bawl.

Try not to keep the emotions all in your head, we are here if you need to talk and you dont need to be on your own, just remember that you are YOU and the way that he is behaving cannot change that, you are a wonderful person and deserve to be happy, i just hope that 2009 brings us a bit more luck than 2008.

Take care hun, and PM me if you wanna chat

xxxx

Morglin

homealone wrote: »

my husband left me two weeks ago completely out of the blue, i have done all the weeping and whaling and although there is probably a lot more to come i really need to get myself organised financially. at this stage i dont even know if i can manage all our bills on my own but i need to find out soon. i have only one son now living at home who is in college, we applied for EMA friday as we now should qualify as income is now roughly £10,000. i am disabled so no longer work and receive DLA, IB and luckily still after 4 years off sick from work still receive £400 a month from my employers as apparently they held an income protection policy on my behalf, no one seems to know how long this will stay in place. besides applying for EMA i have also an application form for help with rent and council which i pay £530 a month rent and £104 council tax. they have also given me some more child tax credit that i am not sure i quailfy for so may end up with even more overpayments. i knew i owed them £8807 from 2003/2004 this week they have informed me that i also owe an additional £7351 as apparently every year my husband earns alot more than he originally quotes due to doing a lot of overtime and so we have been overpaid every year since the 2003/2004. i have found an organisation on the web that is offering help bullet points template letters and advice on contacting MP none of which i have started yet but will have to soon. my son is suddenly learning to cook as bit limited to amount of time i can stand to prepare meals so we are managing on a day to day basis and trying to make imaginative things that we find in the freezer, although i do woory about how long some stuff has been in there. if there is anything else money saving anyone can suggest or a bidge plan they wouldnt mind sharing i would be most grateful. i will also update you all on how am getting along if nothing else it will keep me focused if i have to report back. thanks in advance

This organisation provides legal advice to anyone disabled, on a low income:

http://www.dls.org.uk/Advice/Index.html

Lin

Savvy_Sue

homealone wrote: »

since completing my last SOA i have had some more bills in and rceived some benefits and not sure which to put where.

MOVING THREADS FOR BETTER RESPONSES

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere(please see this rule) so this post has been moved to the DFW board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

I've managed to merge it into your existing thread over there as I think you'll get the best answers there!

munchki

all things will get better homealone, they always do and always happen for a reason