Different life - so new SOA!! Back once again :D

In_Search_Of_Me

Would change the locks if you can - that way you control when he comes in rather than him having that bit of power over you. Well done on all the chores but as hypo said alot there - maybe do them over a couple of days?! Re the pain of oh...it will take time - its a huge life adjustment, regardless of the circumstance. I would just give him the pictures and if he wants to chuck them thats his buiness, however sad. Make sure you log all the encouters re the children - when he's on time, late or doesnt turn up and you'll need it later and you never remember after the fact. Please do changethe locks though - do you have any family/friends that could do it for you to keep the costs down? Hang in there!! Youre doing great!

hypno06

It will take time Sea - remember it is a bit like a grieving process - whether you are grieving for the love you lost, for the father the children don't have around, for the time that you have lost yourself, or whatever......don't underestimate this emotion - just as with bereavement, it takes time to get your balance right again, emotionally, practically etc.

Hang on in there - you are doing just fine x

mum2one

Please, please change the locks, yes he may hand the keys back, but sorry to say this but he may of got extra copies done. Depending on the lock, it should be easy to do, usually just the barrel that needs changeing, most able blokes will be able to do that, it is something that really needs doing.z

whatatwit

Hi Sea, sorry you are having such a rough time of it at the moment.

On the positive side though, he has once again shown his true colours and has started as he no doubt means to go on.

Please do keep a journal as to his contact with the children, even for logging 'phone calls he makes to them

Bigs hugs to you and the children :grouphug:

Sea78

I wlill look into changing the locks tomorrow- can't be that hard - got the tools in the shed and can get a new barrall from b&q.

Just need to get into our routine now.

Didn't do anything else on the list lol!! Tried looking into CSA, but got depressed when I saw what he will be contributing so stopped. Need all his figures anyway.

whatatwit

Sea, when you are looking for a new car seat, try Nursery World in Cleveleys.
I saw a poster in the window, I'm sure it said from £10

I think they will also fit them

Seaxwyn

Hiya Sea! I'm sure he left those cards to hurt you - and he will surely do lots more upsetting and infuriating things in the weeks and years to come so you have to get yourself into a state of mind where it doesn't get to you. All fathers have their strengths and their flaws and he will be the same with his children. But he doesn't have the power to touch you emotionally now if you don't let him.

Sea78

Hi

Seaxwyn - thanks - you are completely right of course, as are you all.

Had a nice day today - went shopping this morning - forgot my list :rolleyes: but got quite a bit for £35 and think it'll cover us for the week apart from millk and bread, perhaps, but everything else should stretch to freezer meals too which is good

Went to soft play this afternoon, which definitely was NOT MSE but the kids had a great time and I spent time with my friend who brought her 2 kids along too. Chatted about kids generally and it was nice.

Come home tonight to the pit of my house and decided I must tackle it!! So I've put together a to-do list for tonight and tomorrow, as I can't go out until the gas man has been for the boiler which could be any time throughout the day. I'll pop it on here as the last few to-do lists have been woefully unfinished!!:D
He's not contacted me today - or the kids - and I am now trying to let it all wash over me - and having that attitude is helping a little actually - so that's good!
To do then- tonight and tomorrow:

• Washing up & putting stuff away
• Washing clothes - piled up again -whoops
• Dry & put clothes away
• Thank you letters
• Circle journals(really behind doing these and so these are a priority)
• financial check up
• tidy living room - not too much to do - toys away and sweep up.
• tree away
• filing - all ready to be filed, just needs to be done!
• the storage cupboard needs tackling, but this could be a week long project as then I can also put any games of the kids in there, and therefore help clear and sort their rooms, which is one of my challenges for the complete this challenge challenge!
• School work - as usual left til last minute - but can be done in small stages between the other bits and pieces to be done.

Nothing too massive - just stuff that will help the return to work and school next week!

Hope you are all well

Sea xxx

boredofbeingathome

Hi Sea, keep positive. I wondered if you had checked out freecycle for a car seat? If i lived nearer i would change the locks for you..it is an easy job and very quick if the fittings are the same.x

hypno06

Hi Sea, your list looks scarily like the jobs that I have to do this weekend! Aren't our lives just soooooo exciting :rolleyes: :rotfl:

Glad that you are not letting things get to you so much today - keep your chin up x