CSA Question

JOHNSTONE1

I'm not happy about handing over £200 a month to a stranger but neither of us see the point of spending £300 pound on a DNA test to prove something that he thinks might already be true. We were hoping he would speak to this womand and at the end of the conversation still not have a clue who she was unfortuantly what she said rung a bell he did go on a trip with army to traing to a certain place and he cant remember what he did she wouldnt have known that if they ahd never of met. Yes he still might not be the father but he just wants to get this sorted out. He's not reluctent to get a test he just doesnt want to weaste any more time and money on this.

From what i jsut read either way whether through the CSA or private arrangement her benefits would be slightly effected. Having a private arrangement is best for her as she will be getting a set amount each month to spend on the child where as we all know the CSA are all over the place if he stops work etc she gets nothing.

Yes £200 is a lot of money to make if he doesnt have a job. Until this whole escapade he has never been out of work he has a second interview on wednesday for a job that he's very likely to get fingers crossed. If were to lose his job the onus would fall on me i guess, loads of overtime, second jobs i've had to do it before for other reason i'll have to do it again i guess.

Lifes pretty crap eh

SuziQ

He seems to have accepted it now though,as he remembers being somewhere at a certain time! As I've already said I think the DNA test should be done-and the more I think about it I think SHE should pay,as it's her behaviour that's created the confusion. If she wants him to pay-prove the child is his!As a mum I would HAVE to know-although I am such a boring old so and so there would never have been any doubt about the parentage of my kids.

JOHNSTONE1

i spoke to her as well she didnt have any info about him other than his name and the fact he was on army trip and a possible age. There was definitely no relationship it was if anything a one night thing. She was very apologetic about bringing him into it 7 years on and was very suprised he was willing to help.

The fact is she could still have been made pregnant by someone else as he still cant actually remember her just the trip.

He doesnt want to do this he feels obligated to and would have to be law anyway. In the grand scheme of thing we all know how little £200 buys these days.

JOHNSTONE1

we just want to get on with her lives, i'm the same if i was her i would want to know but then maybe she's 100% certain as she would know who she slept with i guess we can only presume.

If she would pay for the test the obviously we would get one but i think the chances a pretty slim, she's about to give birth to another child (not his dont worry) and had enough on her plate i guess.

He just wants to put this all behind him and dod the right thing

frugallass

Zara33 wrote: »

TBH i think there may be a lot more to this story that we are being told...c'mon how many men would quiet happy to pay some woman £200 per month for a child that they don't even know is their's

Look at the amount of people who struggle to get money from the NRP and they know that the child is their's. Strange how he is willing to pay this amount rather than actually put the money to a dna test.

I completely agree with you

My ex claims to love his daughter yet is willing to screw the system and claims to earn £201 a week in order to pay a total pittance (in my opinion) towards her upkeep - we watched a programme last night where the the family of 3 (1 adult and 2 children) lived off £164 a week, the youngest child had no bed to sleep in and there was little furniture in the house. My daughter was visibly upset at seeing this and said how sad it was. I told her the really sad fact that her dad claims to have just £40 more than this woman, yet has a mortgage, a fancy car, foreign holidays, drinks, smokes and plays golf as well as feeding the kids and the dog ! She was pretty shocked to say the least.

rant over....sorry......anyway......If my hubby told me that he may have fathered a child and was going to pay £200 towards it's upkeep, I'd want a bit more proof than the PWC's word before I let any money leave the bank

£24k over the next ten years is a fair bit of money !

frugallass

JOHNSTONE1 wrote: »

He doesnt want to do this he feels obligated to and would have to be law anyway. In the grand scheme of thing we all know how little £200 buys these days.

I'm sorry but I can't believe that you are willing to accept her word - I'm surprised she hasn't said she had twins, that way she can get more money out of him. She'll be laughing all the way to the bank.

He would have to pay 'by law' only if he WAS the father

WHY WON"T HE GET A TEST???????????

JOHNSTONE1

maybe not all men are bad, he did something stupid and he is dealing with it not all men are the same.

He feels very sorry for this kid and if he did help bring him into the workd without a father then he has to do the best he can to make it a bit better for him.

I'm very sad about the whole situation but we just want to put in the past now.

frugallass

JOHNSTONE1 wrote: »

we just want to get on with her lives, i'm the same if i was her i would want to know but then maybe she's 100% certain as she would know who she slept with i guess we can only presume.

If she would pay for the test the obviously we would get one but i think the chances a pretty slim, she's about to give birth to another child (not his dont worry) and had enough on her plate i guess.

He just wants to put this all behind him and dod the right thing

£24,000 - you're willing to give this away to a complete stranger?????

If he is willing to part with £200 just like that then why not pay for a test???

Am I the only person here who thinks that the OP is being extremely gullible?

JOHNSTONE1

he has no money, plus this takes a fair amount of time to organise meanwhile he will be mounting up more and more arrears, He remembers being exactly where she said he met her. He doesnt remember her no, but he remembers very little from the whole night out.

He will take a test happily he just wants to get out of the whole CSA and arrears thing.

frugallass

JOHNSTONE1 wrote: »

maybe not all men are bad, he did something stupid and he is dealing with it not all men are the same.

He feels very sorry for this kid and if he did help bring him into the workd without a father then he has to do the best he can to make it a bit better for him.

I'm very sad about the whole situation but we just want to put in the past now.

How can you put it in the past when you are going to be dealing with it for the next 10 years?

You're both mad in my opinion