CSA Question

JOHNSTONE1

thanks for all your replys. he has a commonish name not quite smith but definitely not rare. They contacted him through the barracks address which i gave them when i applied for CSA. He gor one form regarding our child then a week later another one about this child. He phoned up and disputed it straight away and said he would do a DNA test, things were very difficult for him at the time lots of problems at work, upset regarding our break up and in 30k worth of debt, he went awol and didnt sort anything out hes only just out of military prison.

His parents have always lived in the same address, everyone knows everyone where he lives and knows everyones business, noones heard of this girl and the CSA have never sent anything there which presumably would be the address she would have if they know each other.

SuziQ

I also think he should pay if the child proves to be his-if I was him I would be wanting to know anyway and would at least be wanting to get to know my child,no matter that i didn't know the child existed until now,the child may be his flesh and blood and yet he seems to be only interested in whether he is going to be hit in the pocket. As someone has said already both parties should be taking precautions and both are liable/responsible.I feel very sorry for the child tbh,the mother should be ashamed and if he is the father then the child has missed out all these years too.

There have been cases where the CSA have got it wrong,rare yes but they do hit the papers every now and then. However unless he was celebate aged 18 the liklihood is that the child is his I would think.

LizzieS_2

If as your post suggests, the result can only be of a one-night stand, then the following is likely:
1) She is unlikely to know his parents address (his at the time).
2) Possibly knows name and occupation as of 8 years ago
3) Probably requested csa upon birth but with so little information the csa have been unable to locate.
4) If she couldn't trace him herself 8 years ago then she couldn't realistically create a father/child relationship.

There is an equal chance (from your posts) as to whether he is father or not. Either way, it is probably the similiarities to your own claim that led the csa to him.

JOHNSTONE1

Its not that he's not interested in the child or that he's being stingy with his money, the fact of the matter is we havent got any money to scrape between us to look after our family, he has a mountain of debts and bills to pay, so do i and to now have to pay out money to a woman he doesnt know from Adam seems to me unfair. I'm all for the CSA collecting money from fathers who have walked out their families and children, who have well paid jobs and just have no responsibility. But to take money out of your wages to give to a family on the other side of the country that you have never met and never will meet, until the child is 19 i think is really unfair.

How do they work out how much should be paid when he works through an agency so some times he earns nothing for weeks?

Thanks for all your replys, i know i probably sound really bitter and horrible but i'm not i got married and had a child and wasnt expecting all the problems i've had to face since then its one thing after another and the thought of having to deal with this for years to come when were not coping on our own is worrying me sick. xx

JOHNSTONE1

ok this is probably a really stupid suggestion but do you thinki should call her? Done a bit of detective work and know where she lives and her telephone number. I dont know quite what i'd say but i just want this to be sorted out in the most ammicable way. Any thoughts or am i being crazy to think this might be a good idea?! x

Krystaltips

I think it isn't really your business. It is up to him to sort it out. And I wouldn't be best pleased if the ex wife of the bloke who knocked me up rang and gave me the third degree on the conception of my child...

He knows what his options are with regards to getting a dna test or continuing to have money taken out of his wages... Or he could always get in touch with Trisha... Sure she doesn't charge for tests... As long as you are sensational enough...

DigitalJedi

JOHNSTONE1 wrote: »

Do you think its fair to have all your wages taken by a family you have never met or are never likely to meet??

Firstly its not all, its whatever the CSA have calculated as his maintenance liability which is then halved as you've already said.

Secondly, if you look at the other side of the coin, why should the woman not expect the father to support the child they both created (albeit under not the best of circumstances). Why should she and the state shoulder that burden alone?

Finally why contact her? What possible good can come of it? What do you think will happen? That you'll go for coffee morning's with her and compare which child is more intelligent/better looking? How can it be sorted amicably? She is just as entitled to maintenance as you are.

What has happened is unfortunate. Who knows why she waited 7 years. Perhaps her personal circumstances have changed and now she needs the money.

JOHNSTONE1

It was a question which i said may be silly i was asking an opinion, i wasnt going to say anything horrible to her or have a go i was thinking maybe if i was a bit more friendly and didnt go at this like a fight we could sort something out. Like i said she lives at the other end of the country and no one knew of their existance until now so there will be no relationship but as you said if the child is his then he should in someway contribute. She would get a fairer amount if she wasnt getting paid through the CSA as at the moment he is earning nothing and probably wont be for a long time he hasnt earnt anything since may so she hasnt recieved anything.

I dont want this to ruin my marriage or future for my son and i'm sue she doesnt either. I just thought it would be an idea to establish whether she had the right bloke, arranged a DNA and then spoke about regular payments that he can afford and she is willing to accept.

I agree with what you are saying that both parents are responsible for their actions, but he never even knew he was a parent, if he in fact is. Look at it from my point of view and imagine being happily married for 5 years having children of your own and your own problems and the a woman from 7 years ago who neither of you know pops up and starts demanding maitenance its not an easy situation i'm just trying to think of the best solution.

flateric81

initially he would be assessed for 1 child which would have been for you soley. the new assessment would have been for 2 children which would then be split in two.

for a case to be opened against someone they must either: accept parentage, have parentage proven in a dna test, have been married to the other parent, be named on the birth certificate or have adopted the child.

its likely he did the deed before he met you, and then had his name put on the birth certificate. if he has accepted parentage, the other parent is unlikely to even allow the dna test, and just because she refuses the test the claim will remain valid.

if you do get in touch with her and find out what happened - post in on here (it sounds interesting)

JOHNSTONE1

Yes the child was concieved before me.

He hasn't accepted parentage he disputed it, he's not on the birth certificate, this has been confirmed by the CSA. He didnt even know there was a pregnancy.

When he disputed they said he would therefore have to take a dna test which he agreed to, then everything fell apart for him in other areas of his life and he didnt get around to arranging it. Beacuse of this they went ahead with a detatchment of earnings on his wages as he failed to make any arrangements.

And that was the last thing that happened! x