DFW Daily Chat 10th Nov

(Land_of)_Maz

Lucifa73 wrote: »

It does

All it takes is respect an ability to compromise and a desire to make an effort so the other person feels special, even in little ways, every day.

Doesn't sound like much but it works for us even whether libidos are going through a high or a low.

Is it really only me on here?

i do hold you up as a shining beacon of how i would like my relationship to be Luc... so don't go disappointing me!!

I should add, that i am less than perfect, and if i were him, i would've left me aaaaages ago anyway....!!

pepe2008

Lucifa73 wrote: »

So a random hug for no reason, bringing a cup of tea unasked when you've made one for yourself or a quick text so the other knows you're thinking of them is a chore?:mad: It doesn't need to be chocs and roses everyday to let the other person know they're special.

If my ex OH had understood that he might not have become and ex (well not quite so quickly anyway:p )

These things not a chore to do Luc, but when it all adds up to a feeling of being 'tolerated' rather than loved it makes all those 'little ' things seem meaningless to the person doing them.....especially when its one-way-traffic.

Buffythedebtslayer

pepe2008 wrote: »

Trouble is Buff, been there before!! Three times, all great for couple of months , then.... like I say 'am I that shallow'. Sometimes think I'm being cowardly or that I feel responsible for her wellbeing even if I dont feel that I can live with her ( Getting a bit deep here! )

You see that's when I think its all over analysing. Either you love them or you don't and I think ( in my highly idealised way) that doing nice stuff for people you love isn't even something you think about you just do it. tea, texts, shopping, hugging, its all life stuff. all love in action?


And Pepe, if I am understanding right, that doesn't sound like my idea of love? although I don't get the bit that says I don't feel that I can live without her? so you can or you can't?

Burlesque_Babe

maybe you need to get yourself a DFW lady pepe - we're all shining examples of [strike] sex-starved [/strike] kind, considerate and loving ladies!!!!

boredofbeingathome

It is interesting to see it from a chap's point of view. The only thing which keeps my OH awake at night is the promise of football. Other than that fast asleep and snoring after stuffing his belly and making everyone else run around after him. The only thing he has done in two weeks is actually wash up once. He does work as well, but has no other responsibilities and thinks i should be grateful if he wants a bit..sorry ain't grateful and would rather watch a good murder mystery..gives me ideas that does!

(Land_of)_Maz

oh God, i have so brought everyone on the thread down with my sad moaning! Sorry folks!!

Buffythedebtslayer

(Land_of)_Maz wrote: »

oh God, i have so brought everyone on the thread down with my sad moaning! Sorry folks!!

its not sad moaning! its sorting heads out with friends and its actually interesting and useful - i mean people's views and exeperiences, I never really understand how anyone can be with some one for so long and be tied to them, I haven't had a relationship last longer longer then two years, I am not sure I can adapt now!

Lucifa73

pepe2008 wrote: »

These things not a chore to do Luc, but when it all adds up to a feeling of being 'tolerated' rather than loved it makes all those 'little ' things seem meaningless to the person doing them.....especially when its one-way-traffic.

I take it you're giving rather than taking? As I say - my ex is an ex for a reason...

Lucifa73

(Land_of)_Maz wrote: »

oh God, i have so brought everyone on the thread down with my sad moaning! Sorry folks!!

Dinnae be daft quine!!!:p

Buffythedebtslayer wrote:

I haven't had a relationship last longer longer then two years, I am not sure I can adapt now!

If its the right person it won't feel like adapting. It feels like coming home. A terrible clich! but I can't explain it better than that!

pepe2008

(Land_of)_Maz wrote: »

oh God, i have so brought everyone on the thread down with my sad moaning! Sorry folks!!

No you havn't Maz. thanks.
Am I confused? Yes.
As I said before, why does it take the possibility of it all going down the tubes for OH to suddenly 'come to life'? Its not as if I suddenly changed, its just that I've told her where I stand. If by doing that, SHE suddenly changes the way she reacts with me, then am I wrong in thinking that she should have been like that BEFORE.
Who's being shallow? Who knows
edit
been together 26 years!!!!