Aghhhhhhh teenagers

Poppy9

splishsplash wrote: »

Could you give both girls a lockable drawer or two? That way, your DD has somewhere to store her valuables, while your DSD is made to feel she has a definite presence in your house?

Brill idea.:T :T :T

doelani

whitewing wrote: »

I agree that sofa is not an option.

Get them both lockable drawers, exactly the same (different keys though). Then step-DD has a permanent place to leave her private stuff, which may help her feel more like she has a place. DD has her stuff secure too, which is only fair. Don't try to make out that it is nothing to do with the 'borrowing' issue as step-DD will see through that straight away.

yes think that is best option , daughter needs somewheret o keep things liek bank statements , letters etc that are private anyway. Will get it sorted tomorrow

jackieb

splishsplash wrote: »

Could you give both girls a lockable drawer or two? That way, your DD has somewhere to store her valuables, while your DSD is made to feel she has a definite presence in your house?

I think that's an excellent idea.

Poppy9

doelani wrote: »

my daughter is very good to her stepsisters and to old to play games to get one of them into trouble.

wish someone had told my sister a couple of years older than me that there was an age limit:D

doelani wrote:

I do not think the 14yo thinks there is anything wrong with just taking stuff to use, it is only makeup and perfum,

she knows it's wrong but she probably can't help herself. There is probably some urge deep inside that she doesn't understand.

doelani wrote:

but I feel my DD lost her privacy when they started to share.

She has lost her privacy for just 2 nights but gained a sister and as they get older they will get on better. I shared a bedroom with my two sister (brother had his own room) till eldest left home when I was about 7 and then shared a bedroom with my sister 2 years older than me. We continued to share despite my brother also leaving home as neither of us would give in and have his small room and we quite enjoyed sharing even though we fought like hell (and I mean violent fighting). We used to have a rota to share the small room when friends came over in the evening and if we had a friend sleep over then then the saddo without a friend had to sleep in there.

The bedroom we shared was firmly marked as mine and her territory - we used an old coffee table to divide the room (God knows why a coffee table). We each had our own drawers and wardrobe. She wasn't allowed to touch my stereo without my permission:p and I wasn't allowed to touch her anything of her stuff - can't think of anything she had I wanted!

Out of curiosity how many bedrooms and occupants do you have? Is there a possibilty of utilising the loft as a bedroom or even a downstairs dining room?

MrsE_2

Talking of diving the room for privacy, you can get some very snazzy dressing screens.

My DD was drooling over a Marlyn Monroe one the other day (shes a big fan of the old B&W Munroe & Hepburn picks - especially Audrey).

It was about £60 I think.

jackieb

I shared with my sister who was 6 years older. She wouldn't let me into her side of the room, which was kind of difficult because the door was there! She used to hold me down and sit and fart on my face!! :eek: I honestly thought she would kill me. I also remember her babysitting me and trying to get a lit fag in my mouth and make me have a drag. I was 9. So mums (and dads) don't let your older kids babysit their younger siblings. It was torture!! Made me a non-smoker so I suppose I should thank her.

mademoiselle_2

Some things never change! At 14, I used to half-inch nearly everything that my big sis had...and bless her, she never once made a big issue out of it! She was wise beyond her years, because later in life I loved her to bits for that tolerance.

I don't think it's strictly true to say that, at 14, your step daughter "knows" she's stealing. At that age, the lure of clothes and make up lying around the home is too much for most girls...they see it, they take it, it's as simple as that. If you brand her with the label of thief she will probably be very shocked and offended...or she might retaliate and try to live up to it by REALLY stealing, at shops etc, so I wouldn't recommend that tactic!

In a funny kind of way, her purloining of your real daughter's stuff is an expression of how well integrated she is, into the family!

My two cents worth would be to, er, butt out of it! You can't fix this... it's a teen thing, leave the girls to settle their differences their own way.

Sounds to me like your real daughter has handled it really well so far; but whatever she does in the future, I would say, leave it with her. If your daughter prefers dignity, she will go with the flow; if she prefers to pinch things back, well touche! If she has a screaming match with the light-fingered one, and hair gets pulled: well, tell step-daughter, 'what did you expect would happen?'. But don't get drawn into taking sides.

I think all you really can do is stand well clear! It will sort itself, in time.

doelani

MrsE wrote: »

But she does have a home & her own room in that home & presumably can put her stuff down without it being pinched.

I just don't think its fair on the daughter to have to put up with this & shes not doing anything wrong.

Am I being so wrong?

I just think its "normal" to only have one bedroom & if you are in someones house you are a guest

My stepkids have 2 homes , we would never say this was not their home as well. some weeks 2 nights, some weeks 3 nights, some weeks all week :eek:


We have been a stepfamily for 9 years but the girls have only had to share for a few months since another stepdaugher had a baby so she now shares with her baby so stepdaughter went from sharing a room with her sisiter to sharing with her stepsister. Large stepfamilys are fun lol also have a son and stepson but they have own rooms.

gairlochgal

Scary thread for those of us with 8 and 11 yr old DDs and all that fun just around the corner. Good solution there though.

Mine shared a room till a year ago when we had some building work done and created a room for DD1. DD2 is still sad about being apart and is currently suggesting they go back to sharing and the spare room is used for doing science experiments!

DD2 is very good about never going in DD1's room without permission. Whereas DD1 takes the view that it used to be her room so just walks in and takes things from DD2's room whenever she feels like it. HUGE fight recently when DD1 had a chair she didn't want and decided the obvious place to dump it was DD2's doorway.

Territory issues run pretty deep in all of us I guess!!

doelani

This will make you laugh , I was buying daughter a new hairdryer today and was acually thinking how much use stepdaugher woudl get out of it as well, so realy was buying them both new hairdryer lol