Parachute fund?

jellymid

I agree with Ceridwen. You wouldn't have found about about this fund if you hadn't needed a new book, and if she has never mentioned it before, I'm sure she would have preferred to have kept it that way. Your Mum's actions are not a reflection of her views on the state of your marriage or of your husband. They are a reaction to events in her own past.

I asked my husband what he thought and he said keep your mother's secret - no harm is intended towards your husband. It is obviously something she feels strongly that she needs to do.

However, secrets in marriages can be dangerous things. Only you can judge your husband's reaction if he found out, or his reaction if you told him. How would you feel about keeping this secret? Can you just forget about it now?

I know I'm rubbish at keeping secrets, but then I know my husband would just be understanding about my mother's actions if I were in the same position.

In our case, all of our savings would be my parachute fund, as they are all in my name because I don't pay tax.;) Oh, but DH thought it was a great idea and asked if he should have one!

On a practical note, if the savings in your name could cause tax/benefit issues, you could ask her to put it a separate account in her name, keeping your original account open to transfer it back if you should ever need it.

JimmyTheWig

ceridwen wrote: »

Personally - I would regard it as breaking your mother's trust in you if you were to tell O.H. The money came from her and she doesnt intend you to tell O.H. In that case - you have to respect your mothers wishes. Its not so much "your" secret - as "hers" in effect.

That's precisely why I think she should talk to her mum about it. If her mum isn't happy about the husband knowing then her mum can have the money back.

GlasweJen

thanks everyone, I'm only 22 and a student so you never know if i will need it for the intended purpose.

whitewing

Hello again,

As you're only 22 then I'm going to disagree with myself earlier and say that there is no need to tell OH just yet. I thought for some reason that you were in your thirties or older.

I think the time to decide whether or not to tell OH is when you are married and I think he will understand at that point.