Stubborn mum won't make a will !

Nicki

[Vomityspice;15419069]Why not buy them a Will for Xmas?

quote]

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I don't think I would fancy getting that on Christmas morning, nor would I appreciate it in the slightest, particularly if my children had been nagging me on the subject for a while. In fact, that would be a sure fire way of making me disinherit them for definite, not just by accident

Christmas isn't a time for smacking people in the face with their own mortality, so I would strongly urge you to disregard this suggestion, otherwise you run the risk of making it a Christmas you will never forget, but not for the right reasons...

DKLS

I'm with Nikki on this one, A will as a xmas gift would confirm my estate going to the nearest donkey sanctuary, with the money grabbing rellies getting the price of 1 Pint of Carling and a box of straws.

localhero

Hi Mrs Weasley,

I'm afraid it's quite common for people in their sixties or seventies to adopt a head in the sand mentality, and there is a real danger that your mother won't get round to doing the sensible thing unless you take action.

And believe me, if you do nothing you will live to regret it. Due to the sensitive nature of the situation, you will undoubtedly need to tread carefully, but there's two options here. One is you get somebody neutral that your mother trusts to explain the potentially disastrous consequences of not making a Will.

Alternatively, set a good example and make a Will yourself if you haven't already done so. This may surprise your mother - with you being so young to think about making a Will, to which you can reply that you never know what's round corner and you don't want to tempt fate. You may then find that she suddenly becomes more receptive to the idea herself.

I wouldn't advise a Will for Christmas though - that may not be so well received. Good luck.

Oldernotwiser

It sounds like it's your stepfather who needs a will more than your mother. She probably wants the house to go to him when she dies but if HE doesn't leave a will HIS children will inherit rather than you. Perhaps you should direct your energies to him instead.

localhero

I disagree. The mother can set things up to achieve certainty and to protect her own children as well as her husband.

If I were the person advising the mother with her Will, I would steer her away from leaving the house to the stepfather, as there is no guarantee that the house will end up with her own children. For example, he could remarry, make a new Will later, or the house could get eaten up paying long term care fees.

I would though suggest a provision in the Will that he could remain in the house until he dies. This would be the safest and fairest way of setting things up.

Oldernotwiser

localhero wrote: »

I disagree. The mother can set things up to achieve certainty and to protect her own children as well as her husband.

If I were the person advising the mother with her Will, I would steer her away from leaving the house to the stepfather, as there is no guarantee that the house will end up with her own children. For example, he could remarry, make a new Will later, or the house could get eaten up paying long term care fees.

I would though suggest a provision in the Will that he could remain in the house until he dies. This would be the safest and fairest way of setting things up.

Yes, you're right. Shouldn't post so late.

Mrs_Weasley

Thanks for all the replies

Vomity - i would rather she left her money to a cats home though its more likely to be guide dogs for the blind!! just so long as she has made a will and step sisters don't get anything!!!!!

Am going to DM's at the weekend so i am going to take the bull by the horns and have a word with her about it and tell her about willaid, so far i have taken a back seat as i am the black sheep so to speak.... and sunshines out of brothers @***, so generally he is the one who discusses these things with her!!!

Will not be buying a will for them at xmas :rotfl: its her birthday as well :rotfl: don't think that would go down very well:rolleyes:

A friend of mums lost her father a couple of years ago and he left everything in a will, th rest of the family tried tocontest it and got knowhere because there was a will... mum knows this..i just don't think she realises what will happen if she doesn't make a will!!!

We did speak about the house many many years ago....and she did say she would be leaving the house to DB and me wth the provision that Step dad was allowed to live in the house until his death.. which is all fine ...but no will

fingers crossed for the weekend...am dreading it all ready :rotfl: don't like going at best of times :rolleyes:

thanks mrs weasley xxx

MrsTinks

My mum and SD made a will a few years ago, the asked all the children to sign an agreement that none of us would try to get the house sold should either one of them die first but allow the surviving spouse to remain in the house so long as they wish or live. They have me on my mums side, a son together and my step father has 2 children from previous marriage. My brother and I signed it straight away no problem. My SS and SB both objected saying there was no need for anything like this etc etc not helped by my stepdad being considerably older than my mum and it being likely he'll pass long before her and they don't want to wait a potential extra 20 years... They were told in no uncertain terms that unless they signed they'd be excluded from the will apart from a few family items that has always been meant for them... They soon signed.
I know laws are different in the UK and Denmark but ultimately it ends up the same way - if you don't have a will in place then fighting WILL break out when people pass. My brother and I would be fine, our view has always been that the only things that are ours are what is given to us, not what we feel we should be entitled to...
I know a few items till come to me from my mothers side of the family (actually same from my dad) - things that have been in my family for many years. The reason they are coming to me is that everyone knows I would never sell them unless it was a matter of selling them to put food in my childrens bellies and even then only if I'd run out of kidneys
Where as I'm sad to say I think my SS would flog it soon as she saw something she wanted instead...
I could imagine the battles that would ensue SHOULD anything happen to my mum and SD if they hadn't put a will in place... it would NOT be pretty...

bryanb

[quote=Mrs Weasley;15443347

just so long as she has made a will and step sisters don't get anything!!!!![/quote]

Surely for her to decide if step sisters inherit anything?

Mrs_Weasley

Please don't get me wrong, me and DB would not be bothered in the slightest if they made a will and left it all to charity!

We don't want SS's to have anything!!......we've met 1 of them once 25yrs ago and one of them, when DM and SD had just met, assaulted DM quite badly!!!!! They never met my grandparents, who died before DM met SD, so have never been part of our family!! Are we being unreasonable
We love our SD to bits, he has been more of a dad to us than our biological father:D we wouldn't begrudge him anything!!! Infact mums been married to SD longer than she was married to Biolgical father!!!

Mrs w xxx