Stubborn mum won't make a will !

Mrs_Weasley

How do my brother and i get our mum and step dad to make a will????

Mum is 61 and SD is 66 and they haven't/won't make a will, my mum owns the house, it was left to her by my grandparents, who's ashes are scattered in the garden (and 2 of our dogs are buried there) Mum was born there, we spent many many happy days there when we were growing up, even lived there for a while when dad left the army! It's our family home!!!!

There have been a couple of occaisions fairly recently were my brother has been able to bring the subject up and mum is just huffing and puffing, says things like oh yes i know, but still ahsn't done anything about it i did bring the subject up with my SD a while ago but he just said his kids had disowned him, so therefore wouldn't get anything!!!

Our main concern (without sounding like money grabbing kids) is our step fathers 4 children, he hasn't had contact with the 4 of them for about 25 years!! He has never had a birthday/christmas card or present since he has been married to our mum (25 yrs) and i am sure if our mum dies first they will come out of the wood work, and me and my DB will be left with nothing :mad:

Any suggestions please (other than buying them a will from the PO and wrapping it up for christmas:rolleyes: )

Hope it all makes sense to someone!!
thanks mrs w xxx

ClareEmily

No one wants to think about dying and although making a will is the most sensible thing to do, if you keep on at them you will just end up looking like the money grabbing kids you don't want to be.

To be honest 61 and 66 isn't that old, and maybe in their old age they may sell the family home anyway and move into a bungalow etc.

I personally would just leave it, they will do it in their own good time.

Vomityspice

Dying without leaving a Will (intestate) - Who gets what?
- The Intestacy Rules
If you die without leaving a valid Will then the law decides who gets what. It does not matter what you may have wished for or promised while you were alive. If there is no valid Will then who gets what is determined by the Intestacy Rules. Here is a guide to what would happen.
If you have a lawful spouse (ie you are legally married)
If your estate is worth less than £125,000 then your spouse gets everything.
If your estate is worth more than £125,000 and you had no other surviving relative (eg children, grandchildren, parents), then your spouse will still get everything.
If you have a lawful spouse, plus children
If your estate is worth less than £125,000 then your spouse gets everything. If your estate is worth more than £125,000 then your spouse would get £125,000 and a life interest (ie the right to take interest on the remainder, but not the capital itself) in half of anything over this sum. Your children would get half the sum over £125,000 immediately and be entitled to the other half on the death of your spouse. Should any of your children die before you then their children would be entitled to take their parent's share.
If you have a lawful spouse, no children, but parents/brothers/sisters/ grandparents/aunts/uncles
If your estate is worth less than £200,000 then your spouse gets everything. If your estate is worth more than £200,000 then your spouse would get £200,000, plus half the balance. The remaining half goes to the other relatives in this order of priority - parents; brothers/sisters; half brothers/sisters; grandparents; aunts/uncles; spouses of aunts/uncles.
If you are not lawfully married, but have had children
Your estate will be shared between the children. Should they die before you then their children would take their share.
If you are not lawfully married, have no children, but have parents or have had brothers/sisters/grandparents/aunts/uncles
Your estate will be shared equally amongst them in this order of priority - parents; brothers/sisters; half brothers/sisters; grandparents; aunts/uncles; spouses of aunts/uncles. If any of these have predeceased, but have living children then the children will take their parent's share.
If you are not lawfully married, and have no other relatives
Your estate will go the Crown
It should be noted that these rules on intestacy do not recognise "common law" partners, and that "children" includes natural, adopted and illegitimate children, but excludes step-children. The figures are correct as at January 2007, but are subject to change.


See http://www.lawontheweb.co.uk/basics/wills.htm

ClareEmily

Vomityspice wrote: »

Dying without leaving a Will (intestate) - Who gets what?
- The Intestacy Rules
If you die without leaving a valid Will then the law decides who gets what. It does not matter what you may have wished for or promised while you were alive. If there is no valid Will then who gets what is determined by the Intestacy Rules. Here is a guide to what would happen.
If you have a lawful spouse (ie you are legally married)
If your estate is worth less than £125,000 then your spouse gets everything.
If your estate is worth more than £125,000 and you had no other surviving relative (eg children, grandchildren, parents), then your spouse will still get everything.
If you have a lawful spouse, plus children
If your estate is worth less than £125,000 then your spouse gets everything. If your estate is worth more than £125,000 then your spouse would get £125,000 and a life interest (ie the right to take interest on the remainder, but not the capital itself) in half of anything over this sum. Your children would get half the sum over £125,000 immediately and be entitled to the other half on the death of your spouse. Should any of your children die before you then their children would be entitled to take their parent's share.
If you have a lawful spouse, no children, but parents/brothers/sisters/ grandparents/aunts/uncles
If your estate is worth less than £200,000 then your spouse gets everything. If your estate is worth more than £200,000 then your spouse would get £200,000, plus half the balance. The remaining half goes to the other relatives in this order of priority - parents; brothers/sisters; half brothers/sisters; grandparents; aunts/uncles; spouses of aunts/uncles.
If you are not lawfully married, but have had children
Your estate will be shared between the children. Should they die before you then their children would take their share.
If you are not lawfully married, have no children, but have parents or have had brothers/sisters/grandparents/aunts/uncles
Your estate will be shared equally amongst them in this order of priority - parents; brothers/sisters; half brothers/sisters; grandparents; aunts/uncles; spouses of aunts/uncles. If any of these have predeceased, but have living children then the children will take their parent's share.
If you are not lawfully married, and have no other relatives
Your estate will go the Crown
It should be noted that these rules on intestacy do not recognise "common law" partners, and that "children" includes natural, adopted and illegitimate children, but excludes step-children. The figures are correct as at January 2007, but are subject to change.


See http://www.lawontheweb.co.uk/basics/wills.htm

Oooo that's an interesting read

Mrs_Weasley

ClareEmily it is a bungalow :rotfl: but with a HUGE garden!! They have alrady looked into selling but for one reason and another thats has been put on the back boiler!!!

It is worth over £125,000, but it still means SD's children will get nearly everthing if mum goes first without a will......i think:o

Savvy_Sue

You can't MAKE them make a will, but if your SD doesn't want his children to get anything, the only way he can be sure of that is to make one. Maybe he doesn't realise that if he dies intestate, after your mum, they WILL be entitled.

You could point them towards Will Aid: maybe if they feel a favourite charity is going to benefit they'll be happier.

Emmzi

Can you use the 'will aid' scheme (throughout November) to push them a bit? They pay a donation to charity instead of a solicitor so it's a great time to do it, and it's an excuse to raise it again.

pukkamum

Mrs_Weasley wrote: »

ClareEmily it is a bungalow :rotfl: but with a HUGE garden!! They have alrady looked into selling but for one reason and another thats has been put on the back boiler!!!

It is worth over £125,000, but it still means SD's children will get nearly everthing if mum goes first without a will......i think:o

Yes they will when my mil looked into it she was told without a will if she died first and her dh remarried then the house would pass to his new wife and mil's kids would get nothing.
I'm sure i have read somewhere that it is free will month this month why not explain all this to her and offer to go with her to make one.
Just a thought are you sure she hasn't already made one and doesn't want to discuss it?

Vomityspice

Why not buy them a Will for Xmas?

It's not that long away (57 days?) so the risk is hopefully small.

That way the will can be made, as they are unlikely to refuse a gift.....

NB: Just remember that they can give it all to a cats home if they want to........

lauren_1

Maybe they have made one and don't want to tell you.

RedBern

I posted a few weeks ago on the 'what to do when partner/spouse dies' link about Age Concern Cymru's site. They have an on-line lifebook (which you can print out and fill in at your leisure or it can be on-line) It covers a whole range of stuff - from who your house insurance is with and renewal dates to last wishes. As has already been stated, making a Will is recognising and accepting that we're not going to be here forever! But, by looking at the Age Concern site, it may just help lead in to those difficult areas.
Here in Wales, you are an 'older person' at 50!!:eek:


What is Age Concern LifeBook?


This service is a practical tool designed to help people work through all the things they either need, or wish, to put in order.

LifeBook has six sections:

Personal details.
Life contacts.
Financial.
Documents.
Possessions.
Final wishes.