Please help - autism

Dave101t

but come on, 'part time' autism, conveniently when the child is in an environment where it knows it cant be punished?
magically normal when back with the parents? i suppose the medical experts will find a reason to diagnose an abnormality.

SingleSue

Strange as it may seem, autistic children have their comfort zones where their behaviour will not be as bad, if any.

Put them in a situation where it is busy, hectic, noisy and when the staff are changing around or things are not going to a set plan (i.e wall coverings changing overnight, teacher calling in sick and having a cover instead, desk moved etc) and it can have a huge impact, things that most of us will notice but not worry about.

My son used to refuse to go into school (it used to be me, his teacher and the head master all chasing him around the school car park and then manhandling him in), took us ages to work out what it was, as once he was inside he was more comfortable...turned out it was the action of arriving in the playgroud where everyone was running around and it was busy, the simple move of him arriving at the school 30 minutes early in the morning solved the problem.

It also gave the chance for the school to realise just how gifted he was as he spent the 30 minutes with the headmaster doing maths work and the head eventually had to borrow work from the High School to keep him occupied.

Edit - Just in case, I didn't suggest the arrival at school 30 minutes early, the headmaster did in an attempt to keep him in mainstream education.

It was thanks to all the very hard working and open to ideas staff that my youngest has been able to go to a state High school (albeit with a lot of support).

For that, I am forever grateful.

elfen

Autism may affect him differently, your DS may see home as his "safe" place, where he knows the routines and he has the familiarity of it to fall back if he gets stressed or tense.

I used to work with people with challenging behaviour and learning difficulties, and nearly all of them has ASD (autistic spectrum disorder) meaning in some way they were autistic, but that they were unable to diagnose fully due (in some cases) to them being non-verbal.

Is there any way that him being moved seats has caused him to feel "out" of his routine (it's hard to explain, but it doesn't feel right, I know as I get this myself) and his behaviours are a way to familiarise himself within the atmosphere, which he may also be doing with the noise, to create an atmosphere around himself that is made of him, so is more comfortable.

You say he doesn't work a lot at school, is there any way he would do some of the work missing at home? Maybe in that atmosphere he may feel more relaxed and able to do it. Also, does he have a set routine (ie up, dressed, breakfast, leave for school at a certain time, then home, dinner, bed, lights out by a certain time) as this may be key to why his behaviours do not appear at home.

He also appears to be challenging them a lot (both teachers and childminder) this may also be due to him not feeling comfortable in the atmosphere. His desire to speak to those older than him may also reflect that he appears to be quite a clever little boy, is there a possibility he may feel more at ease with those older than him for certain subject, but put this in place slowly to see if it is a success (as changing his routine may cause him to challenge even at that higher level) or would the school refuse this completely?

I think seeing the ED. Psych and the CAMHS team may help too, as they will be able to work with your son on a closer level and help come up with coping strategies for both you and him to cope with (i.e. would he feel "safer" if he had something from home, like a favourite toy, in his bag that he could look at or hold if he felt uncomfortable)?

It also may feel like some things go unanswered, but I would reccomend seeing if he'd do some work out of school ,or if it was possible to move him up, as some frustrations may be coming purely becuase the work is too easy, and the challenge would stretch him mentally, and distract him.

alm721

Dave101t wrote: »

but come on, 'part time' autism, conveniently when the child is in an environment where it knows it cant be punished?
magically normal when back with the parents? i suppose the medical experts will find a reason to diagnose an abnormality.

And this is why it is sometimes so hard with a child with asd. Other people's view's make it so much harder than it need be!

angie_baby

Dave101t wrote: »

but come on, 'part time' autism, conveniently when the child is in an environment where it knows it cant be punished?
magically normal when back with the parents? i suppose the medical experts will find a reason to diagnose an abnormality.

If only it was this easy :rolleyes:

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. DS displays signs of ASD everyday at home. I just thought that they were DS's quirks so to say.

This desision hasnt been taken lightly, you can see from my posts on here that this has been going on for nearly 4 years now.

angie_baby

SingleSue wrote: »

Strange as it may seem, autistic children have their comfort zones where their behaviour will not be as bad, if any. Yep, i now understand this.

Put them in a situation where it is busy, hectic, noisy and when the staff are changing around or things are not going to a set plan (i.e wall coverings changing overnight, teacher calling in sick and having a cover instead, desk moved etc) and it can have a huge impact, things that most of us will notice but not worry about. again, yes, this causes huge troubles for DS.

My son used to refuse to go into school (it used to be me, his teacher and the head master all chasing him around the school car park and then manhandling him in), took us ages to work out what it was, as once he was inside he was more comfortable...turned out it was the action of arriving in the playgroud where everyone was running around and it was busy, the simple move of him arriving at the school 30 minutes early in the morning solved the problem.

It also gave the chance for the school to realise just how gifted he was as he spent the 30 minutes with the headmaster doing maths work and the head eventually had to borrow work from the High School to keep him occupied. DS is way above the class in maths and science.

Edit - Just in case, I didn't suggest the arrival at school 30 minutes early, the headmaster did in an attempt to keep him in mainstream education.

It was thanks to all the very hard working and open to ideas staff that my youngest has been able to go to a state High school (albeit with a lot of support).

For that, I am forever grateful. Me too they have been great!

I have agreed with everything you said, thank you

angie_baby

elfen wrote: »

Autism may affect him differently, your DS may see home as his "safe" place, where he knows the routines and he has the familiarity of it to fall back if he gets stressed or tense.

I used to work with people with challenging behaviour and learning difficulties, and nearly all of them has ASD (autistic spectrum disorder) meaning in some way they were autistic, but that they were unable to diagnose fully due (in some cases) to them being non-verbal.

Is there any way that him being moved seats has caused him to feel "out" of his routine (it's hard to explain, but it doesn't feel right, I know as I get this myself) and his behaviours are a way to familiarise himself within the atmosphere, which he may also be doing with the noise, to create an atmosphere around himself that is made of him, so is more comfortable.

You say he doesn't work a lot at school, is there any way he would do some of the work missing at home? Maybe in that atmosphere he may feel more relaxed and able to do it. Also, does he have a set routine (ie up, dressed, breakfast, leave for school at a certain time, then home, dinner, bed, lights out by a certain time) as this may be key to why his behaviours do not appear at home.

He also appears to be challenging them a lot (both teachers and childminder) this may also be due to him not feeling comfortable in the atmosphere. His desire to speak to those older than him may also reflect that he appears to be quite a clever little boy, is there a possibility he may feel more at ease with those older than him for certain subject, but put this in place slowly to see if it is a success (as changing his routine may cause him to challenge even at that higher level) or would the school refuse this completely?

I think seeing the ED. Psych and the CAMHS team may help too, as they will be able to work with your son on a closer level and help come up with coping strategies for both you and him to cope with (i.e. would he feel "safer" if he had something from home, like a favourite toy, in his bag that he could look at or hold if he felt uncomfortable)?

It also may feel like some things go unanswered, but I would reccomend seeing if he'd do some work out of school ,or if it was possible to move him up, as some frustrations may be coming purely becuase the work is too easy, and the challenge would stretch him mentally, and distract him.

Thanks for your post.

Again i agree with everything. DS did have a tutor for English as i was hoping to build up his confidence, then hoping that he would feel better at school about the subject. She left to go back home a couple of months ago and due to costs i never replaced her. But we do have an hour on the weekends going though workbooks from WHSmiths.

Part of the reason DS copes with home life is because of the strict routine i have, well so CAHMS have said so he’s always mostly felt happy at home. Which is why Ive always put certain things down to DS just being DS.

I now realise why DS doesn’t like long shirts and gets angry trying to get dressed. Why he doesn’t like wearing a coat even if it’s freezing outside. This then causes a problem at school when he’s getting changed for PE. Why certain labels on clothes wind him up. Again, he won’t wear trousers that a tight like jeans, he prefers jogging bottoms.

Also why he has no real sense of danger when crossing roads, despite going through the look, listen, look everyday since he was born.

DS love of numbers and science but not English. For example, ask DS to look at a picture of a beach scene and ask him what’s happening. He will take a minute and then say well there is

x amount on the beach
x amount playing football
x amount in the sea

(Again, hindsight!)
Why DS finds it hard to form close friendships. He has two friends, which he classes as his friends. 1 is a neighbour and 1 is at Beavers.

The list goes on really.

No one has made this decision lightly, Me, CAHMS, EP, school SENCO.

My son does have special needs. And it has taken a lot of time for me to accept this. I was reading ASD forums over a year ago and had a gut feeling then. But wanting my DS too be perfect i tried everything else before admitting that DS had special needs.

But now we can move on, i can go the ASD courses to learn how to help DS cope with everyday situations. And the school can also get support in helping DS, which will not only benefit him, but the others in the class.