Please help - autism

angie_baby

Please can someone help.

My DS (6), 7 in Jan does not behave at school. He is like a different child when he gets there. As soon as he is throught the school gates he turns into a nightmare, this has been since reception and its just getting worse, now spitting at teachers, which he knows is discusting, i dont even like people spitting in the street.

Im waiting for an assesment, but the school seem to think its autism.

Can a child have autism and display bad behavour at school - eg shouting, hitting, swaering, spitting and be compleatly different at home?

I really dont know, and have always said he doesnt. Does anyone have a child with autism?

To be honest i dont even really know what im asking, i just need help with him at school, he has already been excluded once i dont know what else to do, there isnt much left to take from him, he doesnt have a tv or any computer games anyway.

angie_baby

PS im posting at work, while i still have a job, sorry if the post is all over the place, my Dad has just had to go to the school to try and calm him down as he is having a major strop.

roxalana

I'm sure someone will be along soon with greater experience of autism.

Autism is a spectrum of difficulties and all the autistic and aspergers children I have worked with have been very different from each other, I haven't come across an autistic child with the behaviours you describe but I can't say for sure if this is something commonly found in children with autism or not.

I have come across children not diagnosed with autism who have displayed similar behaviours though.

Hopefully an assessment will come through soon for you, but I guess the most important thing is for you, the school and your son to be involved in looking for ways to make things better for all of you.

He may or may not be diagnosed with autism or another specific learning difficulty. It may be that he is having trouble adjusting to the way school works and that it might settle following the assessment if he is given targets and the school have plans in place for managing his less desirable behaviours there.

It sounds very stressful for you at the moment though. Are you getting any support through this and have you had much contact with the school?

whitewing

I read somewhere that spitting can sometimes happen as a child attempts to make unfamiliar/threatening places smell more comforting (as it smells of them). I believe that autistic children can also have a heightened sense of smell. From a social point of view though a child would have to learn not to do so.

Home would be much less threatening, so yes I can imagine that behaviour at home could be quite different.

There is an autistic thread somewhere on here which would be worth having a good read of.

angie_baby

I have been in constant contact with the school for the last two weeks. That was originally a problem as I was not being told of this behavour, plus i dont get to drop him off or pick him up as im at work (childminder does).
So DS thought he was getting away with it really, the school keep asking me what to do. And i really dont know as i dont know what the problem is at school. He cant explain why he gets so angry.
He has one on one support for the morning as his behavour is so bad. But more often all day now. Its just got worse over the two years he has been there.
I have had all sorts run though my head to why he is acting like this, and i just cant figure out what ive done wrong.
He just doesnt act like this at things like swimming, karate, his go karting lessons, or at the childminders. His social skills out of school are fine, he is quite happy to make friends or go and do something on his own.
It just breaks my heart, primary school is ment to be the best part of school. He should be enjoying it, it shouldnt be like this.
The EP has said maybe try and move him to another school, where it is more of an enclosed enviroment, but a lot of schools in my area have quite an open plan setting like his present school where he can just get up and walk into the other class.
I have been thinking of home schooling for a while now, i just dont know where to turn as the assesment waiting list is quite long, i just dont want him permantly excluded before its too late.

Surama

Angie_baby, what does your DS actually say when you ask him why he spits, hits etc? When you say "why did you spit at X?", I mean ie about one incident rather than the whole lot.

I hope you can find a way through this, it sounds very difficult for everyone.

angie_baby

He has only spat once, he said he was angry, there was is dispute about where he was sitting, and was asked to move. He has said he didnt spit but blew a raspberry. Either way he was still excluded from school for a day for it.

He just says he is angry, it varies from either him not wanting to do the work or him saying its too easy. The school also agree its not that he cant do the work because he doesnt understand. Its that he choses not to do the work.

I just dont know what to do next, all i do is punish him for his behavour at school.

starsinmycrown

hey, i've just started work at a special school for autistic children, and ive had pupils in the past with ASD. if he is autistic, or even has a behavioural problem, then largely it may because the school just isnt able to cater for him. mainstream teachers with a class of 30 odd just cannot cope with a child who is disruptive. ive certainly seen the type of behaviour you describe from autistic pupils. the school should not be asking YOU what to do about it. He needs a proper assessment. if you are desperate, what i would probably do is contact a local special needs school and ask them for advice- this area will be in their expertise. many mainstream teachers simply are not trained for, or have no idea how to handle extreme behaviours, and moreover, many do not see managing the behaviour of a very disruptive pupil as part of their job description. sadly in the mainstream what tends to happen is they pass the child onto a fall guy, sorry- teaching assistant. i know because i was one of them, expected to contain extreme behavioural issues on my own. autisti children invariably find the whole hustle and bustle of school very distressing, and i'm guessing at home he feels more secure. i'll write back at length later cos i'm a bit pushed now, but do check out the national autistic society website for lots of helpful info for starters. x

zzzLazyDaisy

Hi sorry to hear about your problems. Can I suggest that you post something on the new Disability board? There is a thread for carers there, and there seem to be a few parents of ASD children, so someone might have some suggestions.

Good luck

Daisy x

jog

Hi Angie,

A good starting place to get more info might be from the National Autistic Society: their web site has a huge amount of info on but this is a good starting point: http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=211

Has your son seen an Educational Psychologist, as you refer to the EP suggesting an alternative school, if so what did the Ed Psych say about diagnosis?

Some children with Autism have what is called Sensory Overload where they really struggle in surroundings with lots of noise, colour, lots happening etc, some children will become more badly behaved as they don't know how to cope with what is going on, other children retreat and become very quiet and withdrawn, but in a quiter more ordered environment they cope much better, therefore sometimes in schools they strugle because there is so much happening all around them.

In reception class my youngest son used to take himself off to the home corner and climb into the dolls bed and pull the covers up over his head when he couldn't cope with what was happening in class.

There is lots of information around about Autism, but you need to know for sure that that is the problem.

Who has he been reffered to for the assessment?

My son was seen by a specialist Speech and Language Therapist and Community Paediatrician for his initial diagnosis. Then he was reffered on for further assessments by others. In our area there are long waiting lists for the Speech Therapists but the Community Paeds don't have such a long waiting list so you would be seen quicker by them. It might be worth disscussing with your G.P. or School Nurse to see who might see him the quickest. Hope that all makes sense.

If he is diagnosed try to see if there are any Early Bird Plus courses being run in your area, they are a National Autisitc Society course that the parents and a TA or teacher from the childs school do together, I found it really useful and it helped a lot in working with the school to meet my sons needs.

Good Luck
Jog

starsinmycrown

oh yeah, the NAS have a good support line for parents needing advice and support on how to proceed with getting the best educational provisions for their child- its on 0845 070 4002. give them a call and explain whats been going on.