Kids from well off families beats my lot hands down.

nadnad

i also think that its not just about parents doing activities with your kids I think its about getting them out there and mixing with loads of other children, this is where the confidence comes from. Spending loads of quality time with mum and dad is great but that imho does not give kids that get up and go. It may teach them to learn to amuse themselves and have imagination which is great, but to me mixing with other kids and having hobbies and skills is really important -it gives them confidence and a bit of self reliance and independence.

JimmyTheWig

aliasojo wrote: »

You're the second (or third? ) person to have queried this. Do you live in my area?

Maybe not, but if two or three people have suggested it is cheaper elsewhere then maybe it is. Maybe not cheaper in your area, but maybe it is. Have you looked for alternatives? Maybe there is another place near-by that does it cheaper?
People on this site are very good at getting things cheaply. Maybe someone could advise where to start looking. Me, knowing nothing about climbing other than the fact that bouldering looks quite fun, wouldn't have a clue where to start.

MsChazzer

Do your kids want to do these activities/experiences? I'm not always sure kids do (my little brothers look permanently knackered from all their clubs) but fair play if yours do. I never stuck at brownies, ballet, music (maybe being taught by my parents didn't help!), I wasn't outgoing or confident, total bookworm but I've turned out ok, went to university, got a good job, friends, fiance etc.

I lived in Orkney until I was 10, then a small town in Yorkshire, and we didn't have a car. Or much money, so opportunities were somewhat limited. But like other posters, we were fine, we've turned out fine. I didn't go abroad until I was 20 and our holidays were spent visiting relatives. Yes, at the time I wished we could go elsewhere but looking back I am so grateful for the upbringing I did have.

I think another poster mentioned opportunities with secondary school, I know I did some outdoor stuff that way (hated it!!!), and if you go to university there are more opportunities there. In a moment of madness I tried climbing (not to say people who climb are mad but I should have know I wouldn't have liked it!) and there are loads of sports clubs. I know it probably seems a world away and your children might not go to university but opportunities do come up throughout your life.

I think most people are just trying to say 'don't worry', probably easier said than done. It always seemed to me as a kid that there were lots of arts opportunities: Screen Machine, Travelling Gallery, Scottish Opera-Go-Round, I swear we went to anything that ever came to the islands!

Lunar_Eclipse

SandC wrote: »

I really do see it both ways.

Looks like whichever way you look at it - we just cannot have it all.

Me too. Love it! :T

lauren_1

Does their school put on after school clubs?

Prudent

I think you may be doing your children more favours than you realise. I grew up in a rural Aberdeenshire village, with just the limited opportunties you describe. I was though lucky enough to have ponies as we had land.

As an adult I notice I am much more content with small pleasures than a lot of my friends. My lifestyle is very inexpensive because I enjoy things like country walks, baking, having coffee with friends, gardening. As I am a real home bird one of my favourite hobbies is online comping and its even lucrative. Friends that have grown up with lots of trips to the cinema/theatre and sports/music/dance clubs etc seem to have higher outgoings and feel more miserable when they need to cut back.

I have bought my daughter up in an area that is much more urban (although not a city). I have given her over the years all the opportunities that rural children loose out on. Mostly she dropped them, eventually just sticking with music. Despite the usual brownies/swimming/ dance etc she generally doesn't like group activities.

One thing that has given my dd confidence is going away to Teenranch which is an outdoor centre in Tayside based around horse riding (though they do lots of activities). She now does some voluntary work there. This was great because the costs were very affordable.

Bitsy_Beans

My kids are too young for hobbies at the mo so can only comment on my own experiences as a child. I was a kid that didn't go on the school skiing/france trips. I did Brownies and Guides and my most expensive hobby was ballet and tap which I did for 10 years (so no flash in the pan much to my mums suprise!). I didn't really have "other" experiences, there wasn't the money and to be honest I was quite happy with my lot. Are your children happy with the hobbies that they do? I know children who do practically a different activity every night of the week and I think they are missing out on being children and just playing. After you've crammed in the homework etc where is the time for play and just being children? Experiences are all well and good but I don't think my lack of them has held me back in anyway. I doubt your children will suffer because you can't afford to pay for rock climbing sessions.

aliasojo

With human nature being what it is, we do all tend to base our opinions on our own experiences. It's all a bit academic though as we are all so different, so one person's lifestyle wont necessarily suit another. I know that I needed to do more as a child than I did and I think having only experiences from a limited range has not done me any favours tbh. I believe with all my heart that if I'd had a broader spectrum of experiences at a reasonably early age, my life would have taken a different path. But that's another topic really.

Lunar_Eclipse

aliasojo wrote: »

I believe with all my heart that if I'd had a broader spectrum of experiences at a reasonably early age, my life would have taken a different path. But that's another topic really.

Ouch! I'd find it heartbreaking if my children ever felt the same.

Aliasojo, it's never too late for new paths.

Shocking_Blue

aliasojo wrote: »

Kids who are able to do more things will more than likely be more confident and self assured. I can't help feeling my lot have been hampered by us not being rich.

When you're rich, you can offer your kids a much wider range of spare time activities and hobbies that they can choose from. If you're less rich, you're more limited in what you can offer to your kids, which doesn't necessarily have to be a disadvantage. But I suppose it can be. If your child would like to play the piano, but you can't pay for a piano, or piano lessons and your house is far to small to store such an instrument, then your child has to do without it. I suppose, if I was a child and I could choose, I'd clearly go for well-off parents. There are a whole lot of other issues with having or not having money, your housing, the type of place where you live, the school you go to, the social milieu you're surrounded by. I'm from a working-class family (father factory-worker, mother housewife), and even though my parents were not poor, it clearly would have brought great advantages if they'd had more money. With money, you're happier, more relaxed, less worried. And you have a much greater chance to live life to the full. Being poor f***s up your life. And being just alright is somewhere in between the two.

At the end of the day, everyone strives for wealth! That's exactly the reason why websites like are successful!