Debt free social life?????

pebblespop

do you ask your collegues what they do every night? i always ask people in the office what they are doing. most of the time they are visiting family or watching tv - not many people have this amazing social life you seem to crave.


i watch tv a couple of nights a week, visit family, go to college or the gym, go out with friends once or twice, and spend weekends doing a bit of mystery shopping, food shopping, eating out and visiting friends/family or have people round to the house.

i don't know many people who are out partying every night!!

HC_2

Bearing in mind the type of forum this is, it's understandable that icka posted with the passion she did. She may have seemed judgemental to some, but her post was full of constructive ideas nevertheless.

LittleCharlie

I echo a poster above that said if you're bored you're not being creative enough.

And i echo the sentiments to get a hobby. I took up kayaking when I got bored (moved out of my parents at 18, my fella had a job in a bar, so I took up a hobby), met loads of people and had a mental social life that DIDN'T involve spending much money at all.

And if you're bored with £200 in the entertainment fund, well, come on! Reminds me of work colleagues I used to have who used to spend £80 on a night out (on cheap night) then wonder why they had a hang over and no money the next day. Perhaps you're spending *too much* on the social stuff. It's dead easy to throw money at problems, but that doesn't usually make them go away. You need to think about *why* you're bored. And the answer probably isn't that you're bored because you're not going out.

judosteffer

I'm amazed at what you spend

by comparison

I go to Judo once a week (£3.50 a time)
Go round my mates house (free)
Wife goes runnng 3 nights a week (one hour a time - free)
We watch DVDs we bought cheaply, and also swap them between friends (free/cheap), probably 1 or 2 a week
Poker nights round friends houses are a riot (£5 a night winner takes the pot!)
Car boot sales (cheap), free concerts, long walks with the kids, bike rides, football up the park, local museums art galleries (all free)
Ebay stuff on a night (makes us money)
Get volunteering for example with local youth club (free and rewarding)

I think you need to get away from your "friends" who spend like crazy and get some other interests/hobbies.

ltm07

ltm07 wrote: »

Sorry Icka, but your post is a little judgemental if you don't mind me saying so. Glen is asking for advice, not to be slagged off for being bored. He has come to terms with his debts by the looks of things, that is why his budget his household entertainment budget is dow from £600 to £200 a month. In my opinion £200 a month for a working couple to go out & enjoy themselves isn't alot in this day & age. That is why he is asking how he & his family can do more within their budget. Everyone's different I know, but being too obsessed with debts can be very stifling & can stop you enjoying life. We all know that we have to make changes if we want to clear our debts, but having a little dig at people doesn't help matters one bit. Glen hasn't come on here saying he wants to go back to his old ways, just how he & his family can do things within their budget.

Sorry Icka, maybe I was a bit harsh on you too! The suggestions people have left on here have made me realise that you CAN have a decent social life for less than £200 a month per couple. My OH & I allow ourselves £150 each per month spending money, which includes clothes, aswell as entertainment. It is very rare that I spend my quota, but OH spends hers most months, as she smokes. She has cut down considerably to be fair & whilst I'd love her to give up, I can't force her. We are dealing wth things & the point I think Glen is trying to make, is that his wife isn't happy with the situation & that if one of you isn't happy, then it can be quite damaging to a relationship. The way we cope is that we work extra hours, so we can have the odd night out, family meal etc. & maybe Glen & his partner could look into doing this or taking on an extra job for the extra things they want. This thread & the suggestions you good people have made has made me look at my own life & has given me the kick up the behind to get out there & start to do more things. I think that debt can be like living in a cage at times & sometimes when you are 'let loose' you go out & spend on impulse & just for the sake of it.

jaydeeuk1

I'm surprised no ones mentioned this one yet.... Sex?! Its free (for most people) and depending how good you are, can last the whole evening. Plus if you're good, she'll never be bored again

maman

Just a slight variation on what's been said: OH and I have a 'take-away' every Saturday (unless doing something else). I cook OS and healthy all the week but always buy in a cheap indian or chinese for a Saturday night from Asda or Farmfoods. It's our night of indulging in calories, fat, colourings etc. We prefer this to proper take-aways as its always hot unlike those delivered.

Personally, I'd love to drink wine every day of the week but I know it's unhealthy, expensive and fattening. So I build in some alcohol free days a week, makes me feel very smug.

weebit

i've not read the whole thread, so i don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but go and watch a TV show recording. tickets are always free and its a great night out

Burlesque_Babe

shame the OP hasn't been back since he made this post.

It would be good to hear if any of the suggestions are useful to him.

Eowyn3066

Hi Glen,

I can sympathise with your situation, we have 2 small children, and used to socialise a lot, however my husband was made redundant back in Jan 08 and hasn't been able to find any permanent work since.

Consequently our socialising budget has been reduced to £0! At the moment we are just trying to hang onto our house!

For entertaining at home we now do "family fun nights"! We are lucky to have Wii so we do family bowling, tennis etc all on Wii sports which comes with the console anyway, great fun and free! We also have lots of games, such as monopoly, scrabble, cluedo, connect 4, twister, etc, if you don't already have them you can pick these up really cheaply from ebay.

For a more fun fast way to play with your scabble pieces, (which you can play as a drinking game with friends for added fun!), put all the scrabble pieces in a bag, (if there are lots of you you may need two sets of letters) each person selects 5 pcs and then tries to lay them all our in words in front of them, 1st person to get rid of all 5 shouts take 2, everyone takes 2 more letters and those who didn't get their letters out take a sip of their drink! Carry on until you have used all the pieces in the bag, 1st person to use all the letters is the winner. Really fast and very good fun.

All our friends know our situation and are very sympathetic, so instead of doing dinners, we know do brink a bottle and some nibbles evenings. Sometimes we just all sit and chat, other times we organise games evenings. You'd be amazed how much fun you can have with 8 friends playing monopoly.

It might all sound a bit staid after going out a lot, but you'll be amazed how quickly your friends invite you back back to theirs for a return match!

Another idea for dinner parties is to ask everyone to do a course, so a friend brings the starter, you do the main, then someone else brings pud!

Hope this gives you some good ideas, you don't have to go out and spend lots of cash to have a good time. I remember playing board games and card games with my parents as a child as some of the best times I had with them.

As to your comment about going to bed at 9 pm due to boredom, why not take your wife with you -that's still free!!!!!!! Or how about setting up some candles in the bathroom, getting some nice bath oils and spending some quality time together!

I guess what I am trying to say is that some of the best entertainments are either cheap or free. Most children just want quality time with their parents, you don't need to spend money to give them that. Depending on your kids ages, why not all cook a "takeaway" style meal together. My husband and son (aged 8) did an italian restaurant evening 6 months ago, my son made the menus on the computer, lamintated them, he closed of the kitchen to me and his sister, put a sign over it with the name, layed the table and spent the whole day cooking with his dad, he still talks about it now and wants to do another one.

I hope this has given you some ideas, we have had to use lots of imagination recently to make up for the lack of cash in our household, but the result has actually proved that we didn't need it! Our children are happier, we talk to each other more and whilst we are worried about how we are going to keep going if my husband doesn't get a job soon, as a family we are stronger than ever.
Good luck,
Eowyn3066