Debt free social life?????

Ames

Just had a thought, you could try mystery shopping, where you get paid to go out for meals etc. I'm sure someone will be along with more info soon.

Glen0000

skintandscared wrote: »

Can't your wife and her friends take turns in hosting the lunches?

It's a shame, but you seem to have got used to a social life that is just way beyond your means! If your wife wants to be a "lady wot lunches" she needs to think of ways to earn the money to do it!

Her friends just aren't interested in days/nights in. Have no idea how they manage as most have a lot less coming in than we do (one or two are on benefits). I think this is what has got my wifes back up. Everyone else is in debt, spending, having fun and we are worring, being sensible.

We know we are doing the right thing, but when you are called a "boring cow" by your mate, it kind of hurts.

skintmostofthetime

Re your last post - perhaps the person doing the name calling isn't such a good friend?

Silverbird

My thoughts exactly, skint

Obukit

An idea me and my girlfriend do is "trade" takeaways with friends. I make an awesome curry, my mate Andy is Italian and so is great at pizza and Kev is great at Chinese (albeit if you like HOT food!). So we trade takeaways - if I fancy a pizza I give Andy a call, save £15 and get something loads nicer, then pay him back with a Jalfrezi when he's can't be bothered to cook. Means each takeaway "costs" about £2 when we return the favour, which could add £60-odd a month to your takeaway fund.

You can get cheap foil containers that can be reused if you want the authentic "no washing up" takeaway experience too .

Jacks_xxx

Well honey I can't help but say that living a lifestyle that you don't earn enough money to cover is a bit of a problem debtwise.

I've got a second job in a bar / restaurant. It means I'm not vegged out on the sofa chewing my own hand off from boredom in the evenings and it pays for nights out if that's what i want to spend the money on.

I go dancing on student nights when it's free to get in and they have £1 a drink promotions, Or sometimes I drive so everybody else gets a free taxi and I get all my drinks paid for. (but I'm a terrible driver so not often! My hubby comes out to pick us up though to save taxi fare. )

For the cinema there's Orange Wednesdays and SeeFilmsFirst

We take the kids out for walks or wanders around carboot sales or museums. We go swimming at cheap family ticket times, and we borrow / swap dvds instead of renting them.

The kids have their mates round for "make your own pizza evenings" and 80's movie marathons, and my daughter likes beauty evenings where we all paint each other's nails and put on face masks.

Sometimes our house is party central and we have poker nights games nights and murder mystery nights. I do the food and everyone else brings the booze.

Sometimes I bribe the kids to go to bed really early or bribe a friend or relative to take them overnight for sleepover so that we can have a romantic evening together.

I also keep an eye out for vouchers for cheap meals out, and do mystery dining so we get a free meal if we fill out a questionaire afterwards.

To be honest we work so hard that the kids are just happy to spend any time with us they can, and we're happy hanging out together as a couple just cooking a nice meal together and drinking a bottle of something cheap from Lidl!

Love Jacks xxx

firesidemaid

interesting thread - just thought i'd add my tuppence worth for what it's worth.

my first thought is that if you were going out 3/4 times a week then your food shopping bill should have been very low in comparison - was that the case?

have you also done an soa (either on of off here) to see if that was the only place you were/are overspending? if you can slash money off your outgoings then you can use that money to go out with.

do you shop at tescos? not only do they take any money-off coupons off your shopping but their clubard points value are quadrupled when you turn them into deals vouchers. these can be used for meals out, blockbuster free dvd rental vouchers, days out, hotels etc etc. there are threads on here on how to up your points to get the best deals possible.

when you book hotels do you use the advice/links on here to get the best deals.

do you know any restaurants that do BYO drinks for a small corkage charge?

again, there are threads on here on how to gain free cinema tickets. things like earlybird deals on bowling and eating. vouchers on cereal packs for free swims etc.

when you have a takeaway do you have food left over? if so, buy less. share a main dish or have a side dish each, while one of you is picking up the takeaway the other can be boiling the rice - every little really does help.

the jamie oliver home-made pizza recipe is fantastic and you can freeze it. make more bases than you need and get them out of the freezer in the morning. it is an activity as well as a meal as everyone gets to choose/make toppings - much better than shop bought.

do you have sky+/dvd recorder? as another poster has said look ahead (get kids to do) at listings and record films so you've always got something to watch.

can either of you earn more? (especially as you say you are going to bed early). would OH like to do a couple of nights a week in her favourite pub? the friends can spend their money and she can make money and still be sociable.

lastly (i'll go away soon:rolleyes:) do you have stuff you can sell on ebay to reduce your debts? i love it and it can be quite exciting on an evening watching your bids go up!

anyway, all the folks on here have given you some good ideas to get your teeth into - it's about being savvy with your money x

firesidemaid

i spent so long writing my post it just crossed with jacks (sorry) x

i can't believe OH friends calling her that, that must be awful.

if you can cut spending elsewhere (and we all can) then she will be able to go out more hopfully (just not with THAT friend) x

milliemonster

well I know all about friends who call you boring, to be honest I got rid of my so called friends who were like that years ago because I can't be doing with people who are like that.

Basically it sounds like your wife's friends are obviously happy to get into debt for a 'social life' and good on you for not wanting to go down that route, if they think she is boring then maybe it's time for you and your wife to find a new direction in life and new friends too?

becky_rtw

Hi Glen,

Just another few ideas to think of - how about joining a club of some kind - Rowing, Salsa or something else that takes your fancy - it usually pretty cheap, takes up an evening and tires you out and if you're really lucky it might take place somewhere with a cheap bar!

Oh an if your OH really wants to go to the pub - I suggest hashing! Running and then drinking...

Also me and my friends do a once a month or so cocktail night where we club together all those bottles of stuff we'll never drink, buy some lemons and have fun making up new recipes!

To be honest though - everyone is feeling the pinch now or will be soon so its nothing to feel ashamed about - revel in your new 'in' status, try out cooking new foods, reading, painting, games - I've lived without a tv for two years now and I rarely go out midweek! You just need to see it less as a punishment and more as a challenge of finding something to do thats entertaining and cheap! Ban tv watching a few nights a week - you wont be bored anymore!