Weekly Flylady Thread 20th October 2008

AnW'sMum

Valli wrote: »

I might've been in yours once - I got lost in the carpark...is it a proper one not a converted safeway?

:rotfl::rotfl:yes it is a proper one near Crystal Peaks

Dustykitten

Right off to bed for me and Greenbee I'll be switiching off at the mains!x

AnW'sMum

This is a long read but well worth the time - so don’t read it in a hurry – you have see the visionary - very humorous!


When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.

Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWNthere was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT . It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bo ttom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time , the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs - It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang ont o your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

Triker

Mmmm well another day done.

Blinking freezing here and we have the heating on.....well I think it is, I'll go and check in a bit.

Well not particularly done much flying today.:o

I'm saving myself for next week when I'll be off work for the whole week.:j

Took DD's to dentist today, eldest needs a filling, arranged for next week. I daren't be late for the dentist, she's bins you off for the slightest reason and we all know the score re getting a dentist. My next appointment isn't until march next year.

Anyway, bought some lovely silicone muffin cases and cake trays from LIDL for £2.99 each for the remoska. They also had some cake mixes in and I confess, I bought one or two for 99p.;)

Got some bread in the BM at mo as no way was I going to pay £1.35 for a loaf. Doing a quickie loaf for tonight then I'll plonk a wholemeal in for tomorrow.

Had to go to school for a meeting with form tutor for youngest to see how she has settled into 'big' school tonight. All well, no issues.

Our cat is limping badly, it appears to be her shoulder, she's still ploddling about but I'll take her to the vets tomorrow. Had a look at her paws and leg but couldn't see anything. All she did was purr madly away , thought she'd yowl if she was in pain.

I made her a little bed up in the dining room which she loves so she is happily curled up in there, snuggled up in a rug I also put in for her.

Anyway, off to check bath for eldest DD.

Back in a mo.

cha97michelle

Evening ladies,

I'm a few pages back, but sat here steaming after events of today, so i wanted to vent and see what you lot think of the situation and your advice. It's fairly long, so don't read if you are short on time.


I've been visiting my parents, and sis. Other sister had her 5yo boy up there all day, and brought the 8yo after school. I went about 1ish with my 2, and sis who lives there had her 3yo. Ds1 and 3yo played lovely for the 1st hour, then dad arrived with 5yo. After that, the 3yo and 5yo kept ganging up on Ds1, and ended up us splitting them up for thumping him several times. Ds1 was actually thumping back as well, which is very strange for him as he normally just cries. the 3yo even threatened my Ds with a pair of scissors. We realised only after 5yo went home that he was telling the 3yo to do these things.

8yo threw a paddy as he was meant to do his homework with sis (his aunt), and he didn't want to do it. He was really rude to my sister - she had cooked for all the kids, the food was crap, she has a rubbish job, etc etc. It ended up with him going outside in a temper and banging really hard on my parents kitchen window. He was asked to stop by 3 other adults. In the end i lost it with him and shouted with my 'teacher voice' that if he didn't pack it in before i got out there i would wallop his behind. I then got a barage of verbal from him (apparently i'm gay and lots of other swear words). His mum was really crap and ended up taking him home to do the homework via the chippy, leaving 5yo with us to watch.

5yo then wanted sweets my grandad had given him. He refused to share them with 3yo and my ds1 so my mum wouldn't let him have them (it was a multipack of haribo bags). All hell then broke loose. He was kicking the door, kicking the kitchen units, kicking me, my sis, my bro. this went on for well over an hour and he would not calm down. While this was all going on my dad had DS2 who was crying, and DS1 (2yo) went and hid under there dining table as he was scared. It took 2 of us to restrain him from hurting himself or causing any damage.

When we finally got his dad to come and get him, the 3yo and my Ds then went back to playing very nicely.


I am well peeved that sis has basically let her 2 kids get away with acting like that. I feel that at 8yo and 5yo they should act with more respect to people and property, and personally i would feel a failure if my kids acted like that. I sent sis a text to see how they were now, and she has ignored it so is obviously sulking as i have disciplined both her kids today.

I am in a position where this is becoming more frequent behaviour from her 2 boys, and i don't want my boys around it honestly. I deliberately keep them away from them already as far as possible, but i think it might get to the stage where i have to say that is what i am doing and why. They are coming round here on Saturday for DS1's birthday party with his friends, and i am already dreading it.

Would you lot have reacted in the same way and disciplined someone else's kids? Have i overstepped the mark? And would i be over-reacting if i kept my boys away?

I am doubting myself, but i don't want my boys round bad role models, and i certainly don't want them bullied or in a position where they are scared. My sister is on about stopping them hanging round with her 3yo too as she overheard him in their garden swearing, and he is always covered in bruises where they grab him and hit him.

I don't even really feel any better for venting. Just really sad that they are spoiling 2 kids un-neccesarily by not disciplining them enough.

AnW'sMum

Oh Michelle, what a horrible situation to be in, just reading it sounds horrendous for all concerned.

My gut reaction would be like yours, to keep your children safe and away from such behaviour. My next reaction is that ultimately children are a product of their parents behaviour/guidance and I would start to question their parenting skills. If you have seen super nanny you will know what I mean. I liked the Tanya Byron programmes, House of Tiny Tearaways, I think a lot of people could relate to the issues there to a lesser or greater extent.

Ultimately all the adults need to get together in a calm neutral environment and discuss the issues that have arisen and possible causes of those issues. Not an easy thing I grant you by any stretch of the imagination. You know your sister better than any of us, does she/would she normally class this as acceptable behaviour? Perhaps she needs support in helping to instil new regimes with her children.

Sorry there is not a lot to help you directly but I would endorse doing what you see best for your children, you do not have to explain your actions to anyone unless you chose to do so. You and DH have to be united in what you want to happen with your boys, end of.

Hugs

pigpen

michelle.. might your sister be that overwhelmed by the behaviour she doesn't know where to start on addressing it? I knoe it is hard for you right now but in 6 years time you will be where she is now and would you want someoen else pointing out your errors? It has to be done very carefully and very slowly and gently. How would she respond if you said you love her and are concerned that she is not like 'herself' and aks if all is ok. Say something along the lines of you've noticed the boys appear to be a 'handful' and if she needs some more support... she can either tell you where to get off interfereing or accept the offer of more support. I'd uninvite them from the party TBH.. why do big boys like that need to be at a 'baby' party?

cha97michelle

She knows their behaviour isn't good, but she actually laughed today and told me my two would probably behave the same at that age - i think she genuinely thinks that it is normal behaviour.

I think if i suggested her getting any type of help, then basically it will cause a huge ruckus. I'm going to have to suck it and see on Saturday i think, but i will have to have a conversation with her at some stage. No child needs to feel scared, and my boys so far have not, so why put them through it.

My other sister has her watch her little boy while she works. She offered for me, but i wasn't happy her doing it as she basically lets him play out all weathers with very little proper supervision and feeds him absolute rubbish, and when she has picked him up, sometimes sis has started having alcoholic drinks at about 6pm-ish.

I think there are some serious problems there, but i really don't know how to address it. Might duck out, and ask my mum to talk to her about it, as she will think i am having a dig at her.

AnW'sMum

Naked burglars whatever next! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

lil_me

Triker hope the cat is ok.

Michelle ((big hugs)) hope you now appreciate more how wonderful a Mummy you are to your boys! A useless Mummy wouldn't have cared about other children behaving like that or how little someone else would supervise them.