First one to clear 15k gets a paper hat

poorandindenial

savingholmes wrote: »

I know you're not serious but can't resist saying that is what got me in trouble in the first place.....

various key people close to me died I thought what the hell.... might as well spend..... bad, bad idea

SH I am sorry you have lost people so close to you.

I can relate to the reaction, a massive period of increase in my debt was when my grandparents on my dad's side died close together, then I also went a bit wayward when a guy I had managed at work and used to go to the pub with quite a bit was killed in July 7th and justified it not so much as wanting to 'live life to the full' but more that I felt more alive when I was spending if you know what I mean

savingholmes

poorandindenial wrote: »

SH I am sorry you have lost people so close to you.

I can relate to that, a massive period of increase in my debt was when my grandparents on my dad's side died close together, then I also went a bit wayward when a guy I had managed at work and used to go to the pub with quite a bit was killed in July 7th and justified it not so much as wanting to 'live life to the full' but more that I felt more alive when I was spending if you know what I mean

We had a really close friend die very suddenly a year after we finished uni. My OH lost 6 of his close friends very quickly to bizare things ranging from choking on own vomit while drunk to accidents and even suicide. My OH's dad died fairly young of cancer too and then we lost a family member in the Tsunami plus have friends with cancer etc... so sometimes life has felt very tough....

We were good with money until that first death and after that we stopped caring... post natal depression twice also didn't help...

Sorry for your loss too..... July 7th was traumatic enough to watch without knowing anyone involved... similar sorts of feelings tho to the whole Tsunami thing... completely unable to control events... or understand them...

I could be down and depressed - go shopping and you would see my whole countenance lift as I got a buzz - but obviously it soon evaporates and then you are left with the bills

doodledo_2

savingholmes wrote: »

We had a really close friend die very suddenly a year after we finished uni. My OH lost 6 of his close friends very quickly to bizare things ranging from choking on own vomit while drunk to accidents and even suicide. My OH's dad died fairly young of cancer too and then we lost a family member in the Tsunami plus have friends with cancer etc... so sometimes life has felt very tough....

We were good with money until that first death and after that we stopped caring... post natal depression twice also didn't help...

Sorry for your loss too..... July 7th was traumatic enough to watch without knowing anyone involved... similar sorts of feelings tho to the whole Tsunami thing... completely unable to control events... or understand them...

I could be down and depressed - go shopping and you would see my whole countenance lift as I got a buzz - but obviously it soon evaporates and then you are left with the bills

Thats awful hun.

I remember sitting watching the Tsunami in tears. One of my colleagues was caught up in but thankfully survived. She was uncontactable for days though and we feared the worse.

poorandindenial

savingholmes wrote: »

We had a really close friend die very suddenly a year after we finished uni. My OH lost 6 of his close friends very quickly to bizare things ranging from choking on own vomit while drunk to accidents and even suicide. My OH's dad died fairly young of cancer too and then we lost a family member in the Tsunami plus have friends with cancer etc... so sometimes life has felt very tough....

We were good with money until that first death and after that we stopped caring... post natal depression twice also didn't help...

Sorry for your loss too.....

I could be down and depressed - go shopping and you would see my whole countenance lift as I got a buzz - but obviously it soon evaporates and then you are left with the bills

Goodness, you really went through it hun!!! I really am speechless and am amazed when people come out fighting from the other side of so much tragedy.

I can recognise me in the last paragraph of your sentence, I always resort to spending when I feel pants and while I have broken the cycle for normal feeling pants, I do find myself slipping back into my old ways when things are not so hot.

doodledo_2

poorandindenial wrote: »

Goodness, you really went through it hun!!!

I can recognise me in the last paragraph of your sentence, I always resort to spending when I feel pants and while I have broken the cycle for normal feeling pants, I do find myself slipping back into my old ways when things are not so hot.

Thats me too and i am sure the same for a lot of people on this site.

savingholmes

doodledo wrote: »

Thats awful hun.

I remember sitting watching the Tsunami in tears. One of my colleagues was caught up in but thankfully survived. She was uncontactable for days though and we feared the worse.

Yeah it was awful.... it was really dragged out too as it took until the summer for bodies to be identified from dna - apologies a bit gruesome - but there we are...

doodledo_2

Yeah I know some of our forensics officers were sent over there to help.

BBC now confirmed it too.

savingholmes

poorandindenial wrote: »

Goodness, you really went through it hun!!! I really am speechless and am amazed when people come out fighting from the other side of so much tragedy.

I can recognise me in the last paragraph of your sentence, I always resort to spending when I feel pants and while I have broken the cycle for normal feeling pants, I do find myself slipping back into my old ways when things are not so hot.

Thanks it is nice to be understood and not judged....

I do my best not to spend now - but the last few weeks with starting a job and then it finishing so unexpectedly - has not exactly been easy either... Plus car write off, aunt dying etc...! The saying it never rains but it pours certainly seems to apply here sometimes....

However we are still here, my OH stands by me and we have 2 great kids, lovely house and garden things could be a lot worse...:cool:

ShelleyC_2

Big hugs for both of you.

I wept watching the footage of the tsunami. I family I know were caught up in it. Amazingly they all survived all be it with broken bones. AMazingly it changed their lives for the better. Every year since the Dad's bones healed (he ended up with severe inefection in multiple bones that had suffered open fractures) they've gone back to thailand to help rebuild schools hospitals etc.

I find premature and inexplicable death so hard to deal with.

Makes all the little things I worry about normally seem piffling.

All take care of yourselves. Phone / hug and kiss your loved ones :grouphug:

doodledo_2

I have been through a lot of things in the last few years including losing a child. It changed my life forever and makes me think so very differently about so many things.

Friends and family are precious.