To go BR or not??

philnicandamy

really shady dealings...thats when they'll go through 5yrs worth of stuff...most you usually find is they'll ask for 12mnths

imcognito

Am in a foul mood today...
Son no 1 is playing up big time and I am struggling to cope with him

then this morning was doing my daily check of the bank account and updating spreadhseet, when Hubbie came in and asked if I had any money as he needed for parking. I said no and anyway he should have money as he took £40 out on monday. He replied that he spent half on parking in london and the other half was paying a guy back that apparently he had hit his car and owed him £200.

he has been taking £20 out or so every other day and paying him back in bits.. This has been going on for 3 weeks or something. I went a bit nuts and said if he had just said at the time took the £200 and I could have budgeted for rest of month, reducing food not taking kids out etc you know. ??? Rather than LIE about it and say he needed for parking all the tiem.

Time after time I have asked him to help me with the finances, looking at the spreadhseet reconciling to the bank etc and he says he will but he never does. Ive told him time after time how much we need a month to pay everything but for some reason he comes up with different figures (in his head) and then has a go at me when I tell him the real figure which is clearly written in the bloomin spreadsheet!!!!!

Im the one going BR here I dont think he eralises the pressure this is on me, He had bad credit in the past I have NEVER ever had anything other than perfect credit and this is breaking me.. I know I need to do this so we can keep our house.

Ive asked him to speak tohis parents about lending us a few grand so I can get a cheaper car and get rid of the HP but he still hasnt done it.

Ive only got a few weeks now before I apply for my appointment for BR...

He is always popping out and buying beer and things we acnt afford. I mean he went out and got a new PS3 game the other day!! He knows we have no money!

He says he has expenses coming, but expenses NEVER add up to the amount he takes out for parking etc because he spends it on CRAP.... Most of his expenses are milage anyway.

Sorry I know this isnt really the place to moan but I was supposed to be taking my kids to soft play today (for son no 1 to burn some of his relentless energy) and im not sure ive got enough money in bank to pay for it. Especially as we are £80 out on the reconciliation and he says he hasnt spent anytihng!!!!

I could use my Credit card (its still going) but I know I am not supposed to be using at the moment .. I cant cope with a day at home with kids not like this I think i will go mad...

Deep breath!

I think from now on we will have to live on cash rather than let him have the card.. well except then he will just spend it all in a week at pub I know him

Ho hum

Bad MOOD

Im x


I have decided that from this

tigerfeet2006

((((hugs))))

Take the card off him and give him an allowance for parking and an allowance for spending for the week. Tell him in no uncertain terms that if he spends it before the end of the week then ther will be no more coming.He needs to start taking responsibilility, though it does sound like he hasn't had his light bulb momemt yet which will make it difficult.

imcognito

Thanks, you are right, cash is the way forward I know that.
Parking is a hard one tho, he could be at work and soemthing goes and he will have to go to London .. how the hell I am supposed to budget for that??? I have told him to use his CC for that and claim it back coz at least then its not OUR money being spent IYKWIM? but he never does..

Have just checked bank again and he took £30 out!! !!!!!!? I dont think I can afford to buy food this week now. We have £40 of the overdraft left before payday and 7 days to go. no doubt he will need petrol before then too.

If I have to use my credit card to buy anything will I get looked on really badly by the OR ?? Its living expenses

I just wanna cry

peachyprice

Men, don't they drive you mad!!!!
I had all this with my OH, now I take out the cash we have for the week on a Friday, pay cash for shopping from it and leave the rest in the kitchen for living, once this has gone, it's gone.(well I do keep a secret £10 in my purse for emergencies!) It's the only way I could get him to realise just how much money you waste in a week spending a few quid here and there.

If you really have no money left for food, then yes, use your card. But only for food. The OR will most likely overlook this, you need to feed your family.

And I agree, if it's stuff he's genuinely going to claim on his expenses make him use his CC, at least then it's not coming out of housekeeping, then whem he gets his expenses he can use that towards his CC bill.

shadowdragon

peachyprice wrote: »

Men, don't they drive you mad!!!!

Awww why do we always get blamed

I let the missus look after the money now though!!! I get my car running costs per month and then have to ask for spending money!!! LOL.

Seriously though, its our money and because were both on Disability its tight so its better its pooled together and the essentials come out first then whatevers left over is spent on whatever (not that theres much). If I want computer games etc, I usually ebay some stuff I dont want/need anymore and use that to purchase things like that. :T.

It took me a while to educated myself into not just spending for the sake of it, and sometimes it frustrates me. But its doable. In fact im more thrifty than my missus now!!!!

imcognito

Thanks Peachy!!

Am sat here in tears due to Son no 1.. he is a nightmare house is like a bombsite has hit it I am soo anal about mess and I am having a 3rd child LOL!

Will start the cash thing asap and see if he has any room on his CC for his work expenses. Knowing him he hasnt and he has been spending on that too he is living in a cloud I swear.
Something has got to change somewhere
Im x

imcognito

shadowdragon wrote: »

Awww why do we always get blamed

Because its always YOUR fault LOL!!!!

Yeah think I might just ebay all his games now will serve him right haha!

shadowdragon

ebay his PS3 too, no good to him without games.

imcognito

shadowdragon wrote: »

ebay his PS3 too, no good to him without games.

hahahahahahaha!!