**Daily Chat Thread 25th Sep 08**

(Land_of)_Maz

without you guys keeping me sane on a daily basis, life would be a lot less fun..... sometimes the only laugh i get is on here!

in fact most of the hugs i get are on here too!!

jinky67

me too Maz
me too

Lucifa73

DDsorry you'refeeling so blue. Breaking into an establish group can be so hard.

I'm in much the same boat. I acquired Hubbles' friends by default but only a few of them are people I would have time for off my own back.

I'm actually dreading going to ante natal groups and mother and baby things but refuse to let the attitude of others and my own insecurities prevent my child from getting the best of life.

Often the other person is feeling just as uncomfortable as you and that can be perceived as cold and biatchy. Can you believe some people think I'm hard to get to know I've had a few laughs about that once the ice has been broken.

Big hugs to everyone

Burlesque_Babe

I've never met any of my OH's friends. It's another part of his life he keeps very compartmentalised. Partly does my head in, partly I think, your problem, perhaps it could be turned round in that he's never met any of you lot - and I wouldn't want him to - you're MY friends!!

Anyway, I found out my teaching rate today - £17.71 an hour :T . I'm doing 2 hours a week this term so that's an extra £100 a month for a couple of months after tax and NI. Then from Jan - March, it's 4 or possibly 6 hours a week extra, so £200- £300 a month extra after tax and NI.

Remember about 3 weeks ago I was asked if I'd be interested in going for that job I was offered just before I was made redundant? And I said no, but I said I'd have a chat with my Head of Service? Well, I did it yesterday - I laid my cards on the table and said I was happy to see this job as an 'apprenticeship' but felt I had many skills not being used. I told her about the job I could have taken and I said I felt I wanted to be looking to move back to a managerial role. She agreed and whilst she couldn't promise anything from the merger, she said there would be lots of opportunities as they will be really changing focus and direction.

I thought - what have I got to lose - it's not as if I'm in a high flying job at the moment!! Then I thought - oooh, get me, Little Miss Assertive! :rotfl:

jinky67

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I've never met any of my OH's friends. It's another part of his life he keeps very compartmentalised. Partly does my head in, partly I think, your problem, perhaps it could be turned round in that he's never met any of you lot - and I wouldn't want him to - your MY friends!! yep my point as well:D

Anyway, I found out my teaching rate today - £17.71 an hour :T . I'm doing 2 hours a week this term so that's an extra £100 a month for a couple of months after tax and NI. Then from Jan - March, it's 4 or possibly 6 hours a week extra, so £200- £300 a month extra after tax and NI.

Remember about 3 weeks ago I was asked if I'd be interested in going for that job I was offered just before I was made redundant? And I said no, but I said I'd have a chat with my Head of Service? Well, I did it yesterday - I laid my cards on the table and said I was happy to see this job as an 'apprenticeship' but felt I had many skills not being used. I told her about the job I could have taken and I said I felt I wanted to be looking to move back to a managerial role. She agreed and whilst she couldn't promise anything from the merger, she said there would be lots of opportunities as they will be really changing focus and direction.

I thought - what have I got to lose - it's not as if I'm in a high flying job at the moment!! Then I thought - oooh, get me, Little Miss Assertive! :rotfl:

well done you:T :T :T
its not like you have anything to lose is it?

Burlesque_Babe

exactly Jinky. After all the carp I went through in my old job, I don't feel any fear now at work - if I can come out of the other side of being treated like sh*t the way I was by Cruella, I can certainly handle 'if you don't think you will be giving me a better job, then I will leave' - which is basically what I was saying but dressed up with a good bucketload of management speak. The old me (and even before the stuff with her) wouldn't have had the guts to potentially rock the boat in that way.

daphne_descends

I'm really overwhelmed by how many of you have replied, to be honest I felt so silly I thought you might say 'pull yourself together woman!'

It is very relieving to hear I'm not quite so alone - when you feel pushed out of a group it's like you're the only person in the world who's not nestled in a cosy set of close friends.

What is Bunny doing on the 17th? I don't think I could leave DS really you all live so far away, damn the lot of you!

BB, things really seem to be looking up for you, well done on the job news :T might I suggest you buy a lottery ticket this week? Fab weight loss, great cookery class, job on the horizon...

Right I am going to finish off dinner and see if my willful and stubborn DS will eat anything :rolleyes:

Burlesque_Babe

daphne_descends wrote: »

BB, things really seem to be looking up for you, well done on the job news :T might I suggest you buy a lottery ticket this week? Fab weight loss, great cookery class, job on the horizon...

aaw, thankyou :A Still a long, long way to go in all aspects. My takehome with my teaching will still only be around £650 a month this term, i'll have £100 WTC as well taking it to £750 (£850-£950 next term) but I'll still need to do AQA afternoons and weekends to get it up to the minimum income I need a month (£1200), but it's a step in the right direction and £200 a month more than 6 months ago. I'll get there, it is just going to take some time.

Erm..........I put a pound on this week.....:shhh:

daphne_descends

Your attitude and spirit are great though - and it's important to look long term and not just think about right now - the hard work and relentless AQAing will pay off in the end.

I am about to buy one of these :eek: It will really help for work and (hopefully) get me more organised at home, I never knew how hectic life could be and I need to do something to try and stay on track - I'm not getting a contract phone so that I could have a Blackberry, and a paper diary will only get me so far... :eek: don't suppose anyone has one/loves it/hates it?

cat4772

DD

Some of the things you've said have really touched me. My sister was in a similar situation when she moved from Yorkshire to Essex in 2002, and again when she moved from Essex to Ireland in 2005; didn't know anyone, no close friends, husband working long hours, two young kids to look after, feeling all alone.

In Essex, she went to a baby signing class at the nursery attached to the school where her son was. She also went out pretty much every day to mums and tots groups around her town and within a couple of months she had a nice group of friends. When she moved from Essex to Ireland she kept in touch with them and they meet up once or twice a year (depending on funds)!

In Ireland, they live about 90 minutes from Dublin so her husband is out for even longer but she adopted the same pattern of behaviour. Go out to any and every local event (with and without the children) and again a couple of months down the line she had herself a circle of friends.

Saying that, she is fairly outgoing but... she did this both times with depression (linked to mild pnd), so it can be done. I guess the secret is perseverance and small overtures of friendship. Open body language (don't huddle your shoulders and cross your arms over your body), make eye contact, SMILE , nod and say 'hello' to folks you see regularly and pretty much in no time you'll have a group of friends.

And while I'm joining in saying that we're your friends online, I hope you find someone to call round for a coffe and chat, or a glass of wine and giggles!

Get me, the NVL communication expert - who SHOULD practice what she preaches:o

Cat.x