Any advice for newbie parents?! RE sleeping

arthur_dent_2

Due to the circumstances at the time my cot was literally next to the bed. I found that if I really couldn't settle them but we both needed to sleep, I would just hold out my hand to her. This way she had the comfort of knowing I was there and I got to have some much needed kip.

Rikki

kevin0410 wrote: »

our 3 day old baby boy cries soon after being put in his crib. he will sleep while being held or after a feed but we don't want to get into that habit!!

i'm sure, in time, that we will crack it but in the mean time can anyone offer any advice?

many thanks

kevin

I used to warm the cot with a hot water bottle so it was warm before I laid my son in. I also swaddled him and laid him on his side. (don't know what the rule for baby sleeping positions are now :rotfl:). I also used to rhythmically rub his back if he became unsettled rather than jump in and pick him up.

Three days old is very early to expect anything to be just so. Both you and the baby are on the beginning of a steep learning curve. Be patient.

full-time-mum

Haven't read what others have said so apologies if I'm repeating.

DD1 screamed from day1. Routine would be feed (suckle) for an hour, cat nap for 10 mins in someones arms and then scream for an hour before being fed again and the whole cycle began again.

I know this isn't what you want to hear but its how some babies are and you have to find a way to cope with it as best you can.

We struggled and looking back, I've no idea how we got through those early months but we did.

DD is now 12 (and still doesn't need that much sleep - getting her up to bed is a nightmare) but I will try and remember some of the things that we did.
1. I'd lie on the bed with DD lying next to me on top of the moses basket matress. I'd feed her until she dropped off, cautiously remove her from my breast and very very gently lift her and the matress back into the basket.

2.Push her around the street endlessly (or better still find someone else to do it). Invariably she'd wake up as soon as I got back to the house.

3.Eventually, probably around 5 months we did controlled crying which, although tough, we stuck to religiously and it helped.

4. We had one of those clockwork wind up swings which she would nod of in and I could lift her out of into the cot. (probably around 3 month mark). I know they aren't cheap but even if it only gives you a few minutes peace, it is worth it. (For the record, I found that once I'd got her sleeping more during the day, she'd sleep better at night - sleep seems to promote sleep)

5. Someone wise told me that its hardly surprising that babies are unsettled and constantly want feeding. After all, it was only a short while ago that they had nutrition 24/7. When you look at it like that it is hard not to see baby's point of view and understanding goes a little way to accepting how things are.

6. Swaddling helped - we used a cotton sheet. You just have to be careful that baby doesn't get too hot.

7. I used to do the night feeds in bed, that way, at least I was at rest which was better than nothing. I'd often fall asleep so I was always careful not to have the quilt over us.

8. I used to stick a note on the door saying "Do not disturb, mother and baby sleeping". At least then I didn't get woken if we were napping.

The other piece of advice I will give you is to accept offers of assistance. It is not a sign of failure or bad parenting to need some help and support.

Just hang in there.

hayleyc_2

Just wanted to add my vote for co-sleeping My son is 11 months old now and we've co-slept since birth. At 3 days old it's far to early to be worried about getting in to bad habits. My son and I have the same sleep patterns and, especially when he was younger, I often seemed to instinctively wake up about 5 seconds before he started to stir and want a feed. I think it's nice that he very rarely needs to cry because we're so close and connected that his needs are met without him needing to get upset.

Hayley

pandora205

Congratulations - how wonderful.

Don't worry too much about routines just now as your baby is very new and still settling, and being on his own will feel strange. He needs lots of cuddles and physical contact just now but will need to be put in a crib or cot for some of the time (for you as much as for him).

Interestingly the research on very young babies show that, unlike the rest of us, they tend to go to sleep when they have too much stimulation, particularly noise. This is why the vacuum cleaner or washing machine can send a baby to sleep. So, when you are establishing a sleep pattern keep it noisy (constant rather than intermittent, as sudden noises cause a startle response). Loud music will do the trick!

(This also applies to other sensory stimulation, such as lots of bright lights and movement... Babies have synaesthesia for the first few weeks, which means they experience senses interchangeably (sounds become sights, taste as noise, etc.)

Rachie_B

awwww congrats on the birth

not all babies like the same comforts,so before buying a swing eg i would try and borrow one first ( my son LOVED his graco swing and we used it a LOT,but my sister bought one for my newphew and he hated it lol)

definitely try swaddling.can be done with any sheet or you can buy "special" stretchy swaddling sheets

some background noise / music might help

walking round with babba in a sling,this way your hands are free to do other things if need be

xx

alwaysonthego_2

pandora205 wrote: »

Interestingly the research on very young babies show that, unlike the rest of us, they tend to go to sleep when they have too much stimulation, particularly noise. This is why the vacuum cleaner or washing machine can send a baby to sleep. So, when you are establishing a sleep pattern keep it noisy (constant rather than intermittent, as sudden noises cause a startle response). Loud music will do the trick!

The sound of white noise is supposed to replicate the noise that the baby hears in the womb.

pamelab21

for swaddling I found this on youtube done with a blanket....can't imagine a child feeling any more secure than this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3qyevEthj8

:rotfl:

becky_sleaf

Many congratulations!

I have to admit that my daughter was just the same. As I had a c section & I could hardly move so we co slept for the first 6 weeks.
My husband decided he was going to sleep in the spare room as he couldn't handle the lack of sleep after all of two nights. :eek: (Thanks for that...Lol!)

What I did do in the end though was to put the top I had been wearing over the mattress in her moses basket. The health visitor suggested this to me along with swaddling & I have to say it worked a treat!

She also said a used breast pad would do the same trick (sounds a bit gross I know) But you will try anything!

I have to say that I became adament that I was going to get her settled & not give in & put her back into bed with me. I'm pleased to say that within a week she was settled & only waking once during the night!

Stick with it & you will get there in the end. Good luck.

Ms_Piggy_2

kevin0410 wrote: »

our 3 day old baby boy cries soon after being put in his crib. he will sleep while being held or after a feed but we don't want to get into that habit!!

He's THREE DAYS OLD!
Three days ago, he was snug and warm inside mum. Now he's having to adapt to a whole new world! Let him sleep with you/on you if that's what he wants. WHO recommend shared sleeping for at least six months to reduce the risk of SIDS.

Buy The Baby Book by Dr William Sears - a great read.