Any advice for newbie parents?! RE sleeping

ALIBOBSY

I breast fed all mine so although I was tired it is never quite as bad as having to go to the kitchen and prepare a bottle.

Whilst we didn't co sleep as such if I feel asleep whilst babes was feeding in bed they would end up sleeping with us, especially in those first few weeks. Also in those first weeks sleep when they sleep even if it means napping in the day (easier for mum whilst on maternity leave). Mind you I am on baby 3 so just used to being half asleep all day rofl.

Trust your instincts about your baby and try to enjoy it, they grow soooooo fast.

ali x

McKneff

:eek: Never sleep with a baby in bed with you. It is extremely dangerous whether you have been drinking or not. We turn in our sleep hundreds of times a night and rolling over onto a baby would not wake you up:eek:

alwaysonthego_2

anniehanlon wrote: »

:eek: Never sleep with a baby in bed with you. It is extremely dangerous whether you have been drinking or not. We turn in our sleep hundreds of times a night and rolling over onto a baby would not wake you up:eek:

Maybe you should do some research in to this before you make such a comment. It is normal for mothers in China to co-sleep with their babies and it has the lowest cot death rate in the world. Mothers are born with an instint that prevents them going into a deep sleep and as long as you avoid the baby from getting over heated it is perfectly safe. Also when babies are asleep they can hear their mother breathing which helps them regulate their own breathing.

Loopy_Lobes

anniehanlon wrote: »

:eek: Never sleep with a baby in bed with you. It is extremely dangerous whether you have been drinking or not. We turn in our sleep hundreds of times a night and rolling over onto a baby would not wake you up:eek:

You know how you 'know' where the edge of the bed is so you don't roll out? Well if you have your baby in the bed with you it's the same principle, you instinctively 'know' the baby is there so you don't roll on them. When my little one was tiny she slept in the middle of the bed and her dad and I would be on our sides facing her - I'm pretty sure that neither of us moved much all night as we were aware she was there even in deep sleep.

As long as parents don't smoke or drink and bedclothes are adjusted accordingly for the baby there's no reason not to have your baby in bed with you. There are some good bedside cots out there for parents who are wary about co sleeping which keep baby close but in their own space.

foreversomeday

I can see why you are concerned, anniehalon, but actually the myth that co-sleeping is dangerous has caused much worse problems in recent years. Parents are so paranoid about falling asleep in bed with their baby that they don't feed the baby in bed in case they fall asleep. A good solution sounds like it would be to feed the baby sitting up in a chair or on the sofa - but this is much more dangerous, as you can still fall asleep and if you fell asleep and the baby dropped into the floor that is a large drop for a tiny infant. A sofa is dangerous too because of all the cushions, these are gaps a baby can easily become trapped in if you fall asleep.

Please if you are sleep deprived and you think you might fall asleep feeding your baby, get someone else to watch you and wake you up, or do it in bed. It sounds strange but it really is the safest place. The biggest cause of cot death now is overtired parents falling asleep on the sofa with a baby.

galvanizersbaby

alwaysonthego wrote: »

Maybe you should do some research in to this before you make such a comment. It is normal for mothers in China to co-sleep with their babies and it has the lowest cot death rate in the world. Mothers are born with an instint that prevents them going into a deep sleep and as long as you avoid the baby from getting over heated it is perfectly safe. Also when babies are asleep they can hear their mother breathing which helps them regulate their own breathing.

This was certainly the case for me - couldn't imagine being able to roll on either of mine and not wake up.
My first born was an excellent sleeper but I was not and tried to nap during the day but could never manage it - he was asleep at night and I was awake just incase he woke up!
Think it was the hormones - mind you they are 4 and 5 now and I still wake up at the slightest murmur so perhaps it's just me!

sarymclary

Loopy_Lobes wrote: »

You know how you 'know' where the edge of the bed is so you don't roll out? Well if you have your baby in the bed with you it's the same principle, you instinctively 'know' the baby is there so you don't roll on them. When my little one was tiny she slept in the middle of the bed and her dad and I would be on our sides facing her - I'm pretty sure that neither of us moved much all night as we were aware she was there even in deep sleep.

As long as parents don't smoke or drink and bedclothes are adjusted accordingly for the baby there's no reason not to have your baby in bed with you. There are some good bedside cots out there for parents who are wary about co sleeping which keep baby close but in their own space.

This is quite true. I'm a mum of 4, and really struggled with my 1st after all the scares about cot death, etc., but all he really wanted was to be with his mummy, and really fretted without me. He managed 42 seconds alone in his cot or crib before he woke from a deep sleep! I was shattered after the first few weeks, and really tried to soldier on. I think I was more of a danger to him being so sleep deprived, than if I'd just gone ahead and done what I chose to do with my subsequent babies, which was to allow them to stay in the bed and co-sleep after their night feed. I breastfed all of my boys, and they would lie on their sides suckling, I'd lie on my side but keeping a good distance away with the rest of my body. I put a bedguard on the side of the bed so the baby wouldn't fall out the bed, and hubby and I kept to the other side of the bed and our pillows far away from them (we luckily had a 6ft bed). The babies' never had our bedcovers on them, I used their own cotton blankets, and we slept really soundly. I have to say that after my 1st baby I never suffered from sleep deprivation, and was getting a decent night's sleep every night, waking only for a minimum amount of time to get the baby latched on, and doing the occasional nappy change - all done in our bed.

During the daytime I would lie the baby down in their cot to sleep for their morning and afternoon naps without any problems. Once the babies became too mobile, rolling around in the bed too much, that was my cue to put them into their own cot at bedtime, but by this time they were weaned, and more than able to sleep the whole night through without the need for a feed, so weren't inclined to disturb.

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart

My daughter wouldn't be put down to sleep at all - she awoke as soon as we put her down. Luckily, the midwife had showed me how to co-sleep in hospital, and it was a lifesaver - I can safely say that at in almost eighteen months, we've never had a sleepless night with her.

Babies are ready to sleep on their own at different times. When my daughter was eight months, something just seemed to click and she would go down in her cot without a peep. She now goes down aroun 8pm and comes in to finish the night with us at around 3am usually. It's taken a lot of time and investment to get to that point, but I'm proud that we never pushed her to sleep alone before she was ready - there's no real point to push them before that time when you know they will eventually get there.

Co-sleeping is generally reccomended for breastfeeding mums, as night feeds regulate your hormones so that you don't fall into too deep a sleep (in the same way that it stops baby from falling into too deep a sleep). In China, where co-sleeping is the norm, SIDS is so rare that they don't have a name for it. As for cases of 'smothering' - they never take into account whether or not the mother was a smoker, drunk, formula feeding, had the baby between herself and her partner...

A few tips for safe co-sleeping:

1) Buy a bedguard (about £20 from Argos and the like) - don't put the bed against a wall or put the cot against it, as baby can get wedged between them.
2) Don't use a duvet - go for cellular blankets and sheets, and wear a nightdress if still cold. Keep pillows away from baby's head too.
3) Dress baby lightly, as it's warm in your bed - they should wear what you are wearing.
4) Don't co-sleep after drinking alcohol, smoking or taking drugs (and the same goes for your partner or anybody else in the bed, especially with smoking).
5) Keep baby between yourself and the bedguard until they are fully mobile.

Don't worry if you wake up and baby feels like they are almost trying to burrow underneath you - it's normal and perfectly safe so long as their head is uncovered.

carbonmonoxide

Hi-finding this thread interesting as I have a 3 week year old son (1st child) who sometimes struggles to go down. Often he is ok and will go down for about 3 hours then wake up hungry, but recently he's been hard to settle in the night and even after a feed won't go down.

Haven't tried swaddling yet but might look into this. OH isn't keen on co-sleeping. We have consdiered a dummy as he often wants comforting but is not hungry - but don't really want to go down this road as OH is breast feeding.

What sometimes works is if I do some "skin to skin" and walk round with him close to my bare cheast. He can't smell Mum's milk then and quite often settles then I can put him back in the crib. Doesn't always work mind! I just keep telling myself its early days and will get better. I was a bit worried like the OP that we need to establish a routine but after reading this thread it sounds like this isn't the case from

daphne_descends

So pleased some of you have replied with great advice about co-sleeping

at 3 days old a baby will not even know he is not inside his mother, and he needs to be held.

leaving babies to cry is cruel and not necessary

hold him, comfort him, before you know it he'll be big and grown up and terrorising the cat