Money Fritters 'Enough Now' DFW Diary

Money_Fritter

Hi folks,

Well I am off to visit the parents and my Grandad this weekend. I have not seen them for awhile, so it will be good to catch-up. I just hope I don't spend too much.

Anyway, I filled up my petrol this morning and was £3 under my budget, so that £3 and my normal £3 for the month has gone into the emergency fund. So the total is now a massive £13.

:rotfl:

I am going to try and set myself a target of the end of the year for having my emergency fund in place.

Money Fritter

Money_Fritter

The Journey Towards Respecting Money

As I mentioned in a previous post not so long ago, I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. I am 35, and I think my priorities in life are starting to change. Maybe this change is come about because I think I have met somebody special and I want to settle down and build a future.

I think it is safe to say, that up until recently I was a 'living in the now' person. That is to say, I would buy what I wanted, cd's, dvd’s, whatever. Most of the time I knew these purchases were unwise but I still felt propelled to part with my hard earned cash. Now don’t get me wrong, having a treat every now and then is important, but where do you draw the line. I have never taken drugs or smoked, but I would say that to some degree shopping and buying items can be addictive.

So why do we buy things and spend our money?

Well let’s look at a few different answers.

1) Keeping up with the Jones’s. I suspect this is the most common one. All my friends and neighbours have the latest gadgets and equipment, so I want them too, I can’t be left behind. It does not matter that I cannot afford them.
2) Because we can. I know this sounds obvious, but seriously how many times have you bought something just for the sake of it and you did not really need the item. I know I have. During the rare months of the year that you had money left over, what do you do with that money? Most of time I find something to spend it on!!!! Recently when clearing out spare rooms and cupboards I lost count of the amount of ‘stuff’ I had accumulated that I had never ever used!!!
3) To show off your ‘Wealth’. I am not sure this applies to me, but I am sure there are people out there that buy just to flaunt their wealth, to shout to people, ‘Hey look at me, I can have what I want’.

I am sure there are more points that can be added to the list. That was just a flavour.

I would say that I have bought some items because of point 1, but I think the main answer that applies to me is point 2.

It is safe to say that I have a good job. However, I am not a wealthy person. Interestingly, going back about 4 years ago I only had an overdraft of £500. I am ashamed at the total debt I have now. I left university with an overdraft of £2500 and some student loans. During the first three years after university I paid off my student loans and got my overdraft down to the mentioned £500. However, this was the point where the wheels came off.

About 4 years ago my marriage broke down. To cut a lot story short she was a very insecure person and was very controlling, and I was too soft and did not stand up for myself. Anyway, once we split up I got into debt; firstly it started with necessary items, such as a washing machine and various bits and bobs for the house. Also sorting out the mortgage and other paperwork involved money I did not have. At this point I did not have any emergency fund or savings; I had just been focusing on paying off student loans. So I think it is safe to say that the first section of my debt was justified.

However, the majority of the debt I have now was not justified. It was mainly due to point 2 above. Four years ago, for the first time in my life, I was in control and I could do what I wanted with my money. Eventually it got to the point where I had enough money to pay for all my bills, so I was not struggling to live, but I would use credit cards to buy what I wanted, confident that it was no problem. I thought 'you can't take it with you'. I never really looked to the future or set any goals.

I think it is safe to say I was not in control, not one little bit. I used my previous circumstances of being controlled to justify my spending. That is why I think it is really important to have treats occasionally, as if you don’t have anything, it can really get you down, and then when you do go on a spending spree, it is a catastrophic one.

I think in hindsight my ex was more mature than me, maybe she was at a different point in her life to me. They do say that woman mature earlier than men, and I think that is true. Where ever she is now, I am sure she will have savings and investments and will be doing very well for herself

So where does that leave me now, and how can I get out of this mess?

(To be continued)

Money_Fritter

The Journey Towards Respecting Money Part 2

So after about a year of being on my own (2008), I had my first lightbulb moment. I joined MSE, and devoured everything I could read. I vowed I would get rid of this debt quickly. I joined challenges such as grocery challenges; NSD’s and did matched betting. I also joined cashback sites and surveys, the lot. At the start I did very well, making good in-roads into my debt. But I was under an illusion again, the illusion that this problem could be fixed quickly and I would be debt free tomorrow. I was hoping for a sprint, when really I was in a marathon. Well it is safe to say that when the end of the sprint was reached I was out breath and yes you guessed it I slipped back into my old ways, using those dreaded credit cards again. All the good work was undone and in no time and I was back to square one.

I became more and more frustrated as time went on. At this point I met a fab girl, who I fell in love with, but she lived a fair distance away. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I did not want to get into more debt, but I wanted to see my gf and take her out and treat her right. Also I wanted to get my house decorated, so I could sell and maybe have plans with her in the future. To cut a long story short it did not last, and we split up. From then I vowed that I wanted to be on my own forever and never meet anybody else. The next step I took was a stupid one, considering the debt I was in, but I also think it was the best thing I have ever done, and it made me see things in a different light. It was my first step on the road to recovery.

I decided to go backpacking across Europe. I had never done anything like this in my life. It was a friend, who gave me the idea. He told me to do something in 2010 that you have always wanted to do. So I thought ‘What the hell, I will do it!!!’ So I went for 18 nights traveling on my own across Europe by train. It was amazing!!! It made me appreciate how lucky I was and what an amazing place the world was. Don’t get me wrong, I have always been a very positive person. I was always happy, people always commented on that all the time. But in recent years the positivity and the happiness had dripped out of me day by day, rather like a big bucket of water with a small crack at its base. I was almost running on empty, when the backpacking holiday came along and filled my bucket back to the brim.

When I came back I decided to attack my debts with renewed vigour, but I also started to realise that it would be a long hard slog. I also started to get my positivity back and realised that I was not that badly off. I got a small pay-rise, not much, but I decided to put that extra cash to charity every month. I also started to enjoy life, even the basic stuff. Not long after I came back I met a girl, a fab girl. We have been together now for about 5 months, and everything is perfect. I think the combination of events in the last 8-9 months has made me start to see things in a different way. I am 35 and I have nothing really to show for my life, apart from my university certificates hanging on the wall in the dark wooden frames, the dust gathering on them as each year passes by.


It was at this point that I decided to sit down and think things through carefully, I discovered that my problem is really down to several key points:

(To be Continued)

Money_Fritter

The Journey Towards Respecting Money Part 3

1) I DON'T RESPECT MONEY.

How can you respect money?

I always thought respect was something you give to other people, but I am slowly beginning to realise that this is not the case. I suspect a lot of people are the same as me. Every time we see something we want in a shop window or on a shelf on an aisle, are minds start to work out and justify how it will be ok to buy the item in question, when deep down we know we cannot afford it. But I think if you start to respect money and where it comes from, then that can be half the battle. I like to think of it this way; when you get paid, you have earned that money; you have worked hard in whatever position you occupy. Now, yes sometimes you do want to have treats as at the end of the day you have worked hard and deserve a treat. However, you don’t want to throw your money away left, right and centre.

If for example you were buying shares in a company, you would not just throw your money at a random company, just because you liked the look of the company, its logo, or the product it sells. You would find out all you could about that company, and make sure the investment was worth the risk. I suppose a similar logic can be applied to items you buy in a shop. For example, say you were looking around Tesco, and looking at the new TV LCD screens, you see a great offer for £400, and you think ‘that is one hell of a bargain; I am going to buy that’. And that is the end of your reasoning; you promptly take the item to the counter and hand over your money. It’s not until you get home and remember that you have a perfectly good 2 year old tv, and that the one you have just bought does not have many advantages over the old one.

This can be applied to many aspects of life. The world moves so quickly today and a lot of the time we don’t stop to think and reason things through and that is what shops and companies rely on, spontaneous purchasing. I know this argument is a simple one, but we live in a world now were we are encouraged to throw out perfectly good items, because of advances in technology, fashion, anything, just so we can have something new. I think respecting money, whether we are rich or poor, is very important. This is why rich and wealth people who have worked from the bottom with very little money to start with do well. They respect money and are always looking at how to invest and make their money work for them. Don’t get me wrong some of these people are lucky, and are in the right place at the right time, but they are very driven people and don’t rest on their laurels. They are always looking to do more and I see no reason why this attitude cannot be applied to people with very little money. I believe that if you put your mind to it and respect and think wisely about the money you have, you can achieve a great deal.

Then we move on to the next evil, credit cards. Now I do agree with Martin Lewis (The Legend), credit card companies do offer all this money to people so easily nowadays. Also they keep the minimum payments so low so that people are trapped with these cards for the rest of their lives. However, some responsibility must be put on to the card owner, and that includes me. At the end of the day, when we get a credit card, we are given what we perceive as being significant amounts of free money that can be spend on anything we want. People get carried away with that thought, myself included and don’t think of the consequences. The money is not free; you are being charged a ridiculous amount of interest to spend somebody else’s money. Now looking at the flip side, it would be a great investment plan in order to make money, loaning money out to people and charging them for the pleasure. Speaking from experience I think credit cards are a very bad idea, and can rapidly spiral out of control, because you never look at the wider issue, the wider issue being increased out of control spending. Most people, myself included just take the money, smile and run to the nearest shop!!!!

So all of the above has brought me to here and my future and how I can make my money do more for me, namely by investing.

But before I come to that there are several other points that I need to resolve before I can be successful, and these other points are equally as important as learning to respect money.

Money_Fritter

The Journey Towards Respecting Money Part 4

2) Willpower

Willpower goes hand in hand with respecting money. If you don’t have the willpower to say ‘no’, then the debts will continue to increase and the spending will never stop, and neither will the debt.

I know this might sound obvious, but until recently I never took one blind bit of notice. I have to say that willpower, or lack of it has been one of my biggest weaknesses in life and in my pathway to a debt free existence.

The power to say that two letter word when standing in a shop in front of a shiny new laptop, or a new pair of designer shoes, or even just something like a dvd or console game. Often in the past I would justify the purchase by saying to myself that I will make the money back another way, cutting something else out of my budget that I needed, which incidentally I never did do.

I realise now that if I conquer my willpower and learn to say ‘no’, I will conquer my debts. How can I improve my willpower?

I suppose it’s simple really, think of what your life will be like when you are debt free, think of the spare money you will have. Think of the stress you will not have worrying about paying bills and were the next payment for a credit card is coming from. Again, like previously, it is thinking about the bigger picture and not just the now. In the past I just kept the blinkers on and plodded on down the straight narrow path of debt destruction. Now, however, I am looking to the future, I am setting myself targets and as I mentioned before I want my money to work for me. I am not saying it will be easy, as it won’t, but hopefully over the journey I can conquer my willpower problem. I also think that conquering my willpower problem will be beneficial to me for the future, when I am debt free and am looking to invest in money making ideas. You can utilise willpower, in making good sound business decisions, so I am thinking of this as part of my education!!!!

savingwannabe

Good grief i dont read your thread for a couple of days and what happens you actually start to write again. This is good and positive. I haven't read it all yet but it sounds concrete as you are writing it down. Well done Fritty. You will get there. Yay.

Did you ever watch the 'story off stuff' ? Watch it. You will change overnight.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Money_Fritter

savingwannabe wrote: »

Good grief i dont read your thread for a couple of days and what happens you actually start to write again. This is good and positive. I haven't read it all yet but it sounds concrete as you are writing it down. Well done Fritty. You will get there. Yay.

Did you ever watch the 'story off stuff' ? Watch it. You will change overnight.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Hi sw, nice to hear from you. I have indeed watched the story of stuff, it is a real eye opener. As for my big posts, I just thought I would try and explained were I have been and where I am going, and the weaknessess I have to overcome. I have two more parts to post.

Money fritter

Money_Fritter

Hi Folks,

How is everybody this weekend. I had a good day out with my grandad and family yesterday, we went out for some tea. So far this weekend, I have watched the money well and I have only spent £12.50 and £42 on diesel for the journey. However, the diesel should last me for the journey back home and for a couple of days next week, I have already taken account for the diesel in my budget, so overall not too bad. I am off for a game of golf today and then it is back home tomorrow morning.

I had a good laugh this morning, my mum has bought the latest craze for the Wii, called 'Zumba'. It is a dance fitness game, I had a little go and lets just say that my hips don't lie and don't move, I was rubbish and just a little clumpy, but it was good fun

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I have been thinking about my last two entries for my thoughts on 'The Journey towards Respecting Money'. Hopefully I will post them in the next few days.

Well until later

Happy saving

Money Fritter

Money_Fritter

Well, just been for a game of golf. The course was beautiful and as soon as we left the first tee, the rain stopped and the sun came out. The scenery was stunning, it's a shame the golf was not.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I certainly am out of practice. Also my fab mum gave me some money to help me out with my petol costs and I did not have to pay for golf, my parents are fab, so this weekend has cost me nothing so far.

Going to have some nice tea with the parents soon and then I will be heading back home tomorrow morning.

Happy Saving

Money Fritter

Money_Fritter

The Journey Towards Respecting Money Part 5

3) Patience.

Well, where shall I start with this one? I have not got any!!!!!!

I would say that my biggest weaknesses are Willpower and Patience, and I know that if don’t conqueror both of them I can kiss goodbye to a debt free life.

So why do we need to be patient on our journey of respecting money and becoming debt free?

Often when we get into debt, it takes us a long time to realise that it is serious. Often people, myself included, carry on oblivious to the severity of the situation, often getting into more debt until the switch flicks in the head. However, the initial switch can lead to a bright light burning, that quickly fades and is quickly extinguished.

What do I mean by that?

Well, often the flick of the switch, that moment when you realise that you have to change and this cannot continue, leads to a burst of quick fixes, when more often than not, sitting down and carefully thinking things through is the best course of action. Often people, myself included, cut back too severely or set unrealistic goals and targets. I dived straight in and tried to tackle my debts head on. Now don’t get me wrong, it was admirable and in the first 6-8 months I did very well, but I put too much pressure on myself to get out this debt hole by next week!!!

It is a marathon not a sprint, although to be fair, getting in to debt seems to be a sprint!!!!

As a result of setting unrealistic targets and goals, I quickly strayed off the path to redemption and started taking my eye of the ball, so to speak. I started using credit cards again, occasionally to start off with and then more frequent and before I knew it I was back to square one.

Being patient, not just in eliminating debt, but in preventing it forming in the first place is very important. Being patient and saving up for that treat you have always wanted rather than get in debt just to have it now, is very important. Being patient is not just important with respect to debts, but also to most areas of life. Setting realistic goals and targets and being patient is the key to a debt free life.

Here is hoping I can do it!!!!