The ultimate incentive to get debt free, can I do it by New Years?

Birdie85

I've got a bit of a moan if you don't mind! I made friends with a girl last summer, we met at the Rugby Club and hit it off so started to spend time together and got on really well. Her boyfriend had gone to work in Africa so they'd broken up and she'd dated a couple of the other guys at the club. At the end of last summer her ex came back to England for a couple of months after being in a car crash, they got back together and she barely talked to me whilst he was here, turning down every invitation because they had plans.

I thought that she'd be more available once he went back to Africa but she still kept her distance, I saw her once between him coming back to England and Christmas when she announced that she was moving to Africa to live with him for 6 months. Every time I text her to ask her to go somewhere with me she'd fob me off with excuses and say 'some other time' that never came! OH rang me at lunchtime and said that he'd just seen her in town, she's leaving tomorrow. He told her to text me and to come round to ours for a drink tonight, she hasn't bothered! What kind of person does that? Doesn't bother seeing so called friends before leaving the country for 6 months, can't even spare 30 minutes to see someone they haven't seen in ages? I had been warned that she was a flake but this just seems mean! I think I mentioned before that I don't make new friends easily so this just sucks.

Sorry to hog the board with a moan, but I needed to get it off my chest!

Birdie85

poddle911 wrote: »

sometimes I'd like to lose enough for people to wonder if I was ill. I know that's really wrong!

I sometimes wish that too! I've never been properly skinny and I fancy being a little too skinny for a little while just to know what it is like! It'll probably make me feel better about my wobbly hips if I had no shape at all for a bit! You're probably right about the dress making me look huge, I could only wear it if I was super skinny!

I haven't measured my body fat for ages (scared!) but I know when I started at the gym I was 34%, it went down to 28%. I quit the gym last summer. God knows what it is now, I don't really want to know!

Your OH sounds a little obsessive with food Tete, mine can get quite bad about not eating. He'll have fruit juice and a banana for breakfast, a bowl of cereal for lunch and some pasta for dinner. He gets really skinny when he eats like that. I'm feeding him up at the moment and the fridge is full of food so he's having proper lunches at the moment, don't know how long that will last though!

Tete_en_l'Air

Hi Poddle, hadn't noticed you'd joined us til Birdie quoted you there! Your little kitty on Dooyoo is grrrgeous!

Honestly though, if I see him on a Wed and ask what he's eaten since the weekend, it'll be a bowl of cereal mon and Tues night and maybe a muffin or chocolate bar through the day on the Wed, then he'll eat with me. I don't know how he doesn't faint all the time!

Your 'friend' sounds horrible. A couple of years ago I decided to cut the people out of my life who clearly aren't interested in me. I got sick of always making the effort and getting nothing back. So I just stopped making the effort. It's quite painless really! If you can bring yourself to do that you'll be better off for it. I know you're worried about not making friends easily but it really is quality rather than quantity that counts.

poddle911

Birdie85 wrote: »

I'm feeding him up at the moment and the fridge is full of food so he's having proper lunches at the moment, don't know how long that will last though!

I'm trying to feed my OH up too! He just doesn't seem to put on any weight *grr* and it probably doesn't help that he eats what I eat when I'm dieting, poor lad

re your 'friend' - that sounds like a weird situation, but she doesn't deserve you making all the effort! Friendship should be about give and take, I know most people see their friends less at the beginning of a relationship or when they're all loved up, but the ones that are worth it come round. It's always horrible when someone you've got on really well with lets you down, but she doesn't sound like a good friend to me. It's a shame though, making friends gets harder as you get settled and your social circles get smaller. In your teens and early 20s you have loads of opportunites to meet loads of people - university, travelling, new job, lots of single friends!

I haven't met any new people in aaages and my last company only had 12 people! Time for a hobby methinks :rotfl:

Sorry for hijacking your thread Dinah! Glad you've got NIM back and no aggro about the laptop - you've got a good un there!

poddle911

:wave: Hi Tete! Cross posts there, lol at our mutual opinion on Birdie's 'friend'

Aww - Mavis is super cute too! My cat (Jasper) is now HUGE and looks more like a panther than a fluffy kitten uh oh, I'm getting cat-broody again...

Birdie85

I think you're right girls! I've not missed her really, I doubt I'll miss her at all when she's gone, I probably won't even notice! I can't even be bothered to see her tonight if she did text me, it's just the principle of it that upsets me most and feeling dumped by someone not good enough to dump me!

Is today the day that Dinah had loads of exercise classes planned? She's so good for keeping it all up, I so wish I could love exercise!

Tete_en_l'Air

poddle911 wrote: »

It's a shame though, making friends gets harder as you get settled and your social circles get smaller. In your teens and early 20s you have loads of opportunites to meet loads of people - university, travelling, new job, lots of single friends!

This is so true, it's what drove me to dating sites!! I still have really good relationships with my old friends but there's only one that lives within 50 miles of me and she's just had a baby so we're not exactly going out on the lash much! Where do you live Birdie? There might be some book groups or something nearby? It;s harder making friends than meeting blokes these days!

Thanks for the Mavis compliment Poddle I like the idea of having a panther stalking round the house!

Tete_en_l'Air

I think today's the day Birdie yes! I couldn't do them all back to back over lunchtime like that, it would kill me!

Birdie85

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

This is so true, it's what drove me to dating sites!! I still have really good relationships with my old friends but there's only one that lives within 50 miles of me and she's just had a baby so we're not exactly going out on the lash much! Where do you live Birdie? There might be some book groups or something nearby? It;s harder making friends than meeting blokes these days!

I live in Ripon. I still have a couple of close friends from school but they live in Leeds (for some reason that was the 'in' place for everyone to move to!) so I'm stuck with work mates (most are a good 10yrs+ older than me!) and OH's friends, who I like but they're not my friends. I think I'll look for book clubs, scrapbooking clubs etc but I'll probably only meet middle aged women there too! :rolleyes:

poddle911

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

There might be some book groups or something nearby? It;s harder making friends than meeting blokes these days!

I've just joined a book club! (at the library) They seem really popular - I had to be on a waiting list, and the normal one is still booked up so this is a 'literary' one. Eesh, hope they're not going to be all pretentious know-it-all types! But I figure if I want to go, then maybe they'll be other people like me there - fingers crossed!

They're starting with Booker prize winners so quite a few of the books are ones I keep meaning to read, but haven't quite got round to yet (or in the last 10 years). Still, I have an English degree, so I'm hoping I'll be able to keep up Not sure when the first one is yet, but I'll keep you posted...